


inFinity Stuck

by KeijiHaku



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Action, Awful friggin cliches, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Gen, Literally every single one, M/M, Multi, Multiverses, Original Universe, Other, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Pseudo-harem, Romance, Vulgar Language, Yeah we're makin this happen, all of them - Freeform, caped morons, hillarity, sci fi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:21:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 59,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6605386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeijiHaku/pseuds/KeijiHaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>important alert as to the future of this fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I tried to make Keiji's past as clear and concise as possible without giving too much away. I will eventually write inFinity which will include a longer version of his story.

# Chapter 1: A Strange New Wind

_I woke up a few times to the sound of wind ripping through the air. I saw moments of fighting and sentiments. I saw their triumph and their despair. I saw it all to the end and yet...  
I still sleep..._

 

The game was over for now. Her Imperious Condesce killed, Bec Noir Vanquished, both Jacks defeated and Lor English wiped out. Their reward was a new home, new life, and a new universe. 

1 year had passed and every once in a while they would meet all of the kids and adults at a Cafe run by the Calliope. It was a sort of headquarters/hangout for them where they could all gather, reminesce about the past and talk about their current lives. 

Today's date is July 14th, 5 AR (After Reckoning). The time is 12 pm and the location is the Green Cafe. Something odd. A mysterious wind blows into the cafe today.

 

"GOGDAMMIT DAVE, YOU NOOKSNIFFING GRUBMUNCHING TRASH LET FUCKING GO!!"  
"Whoa chill kitkat, we're just having a completely ironic dick drawing fest."  
"WHAT IS WITH YOU AND YOU'RE GOGDAMN HUMAN PHALICES."  
"Kitkat, phalic shape drawings are like a fucking obligation to all, now be quiet and draw another penis."  
"FUCK YOU!!!"

In the cafe everyone was huddled together, but in small separate groups as well, and chatting together about anything and everything. Off to the side was Jade, Karkat and Dave. Jade merely listened for a bit as they had their usual roundabout way of flirting. Even though the 2 were in a flushed relationship they still acted like assholes to each other. Often it was funny to watch. After a bit though Jade butted in to declare her change of scenery.

"You guys have fun with your flirting, I am going to go talk to John for a bit." Her declaration went unheard though and she decided to leave them in peace. She made her way to the other side of the Cafe where John, Terezi, Vriska, Kanaya, Rose, and Roxy were.

"Hey guys you mind if a join you?" said Jade with a calm smile on her face. John and Rose without hesitation made a space in between them for Jade, and, as if to reassure her of her spot at the table, John said:

"Sure you can sis!" Sis. That's still something Jade was getting used to being called.

"We were just talking about that new Pirates of the Carribean movie," John exclaimed interrupting Jade's thoughts about how interesting it was to be called sis.

"Pirates of the Carribean 8: Hunt for Shan-gri La?" Jade asked. 

__

_Hehehe_

__

As soon as she asked she heard someone chuckle but for some reason couldn't match a familiar voice to it. She looked around and saw no one but her friends. She knew what they sounded like. She pushed the chuckle to the back of her mind finding it inconsequential at the moment.

"That movie was the b888888888888st!!!!!!!!" chimed in Vriska. She was clutching a glass bottle of cola and waving it around trying to express how proud she was of the fact there was a Pirates of the Carribean 8.

"You only find it good because of the numerous use of the number 8 throughout the movie, nigh including the title of the movie itself," Rose retorted. She was leaning against Kanaya sipping an ice tea. She was calm and collected but was smirking nonetheless.

"Rose Dear, Did You Not Enjoy The Movie?" asked Kanaya frantically since she had taken Rose to go see it after reading up on human methods of dating. She had read that taking a girl to a movie was a good idea and going to romance movies were the best however there was no romance movie playing so she settled for the new Pirates of the Carribean.

"Don't worry my love, I enjoyed it since you were there," exclaimed rose, "I merely wish to bask in the annoyance of Vriska at my remarks."

Rose smirked and Vriska made a sarcastic remark in response. Kanaya chuckled along with Roxy and so did Jade. Honestly everything was perfect, well almost perfect. A mysterious wind crept through the cafe.

John's Dad had been chatting up Rose's mom and after a kiss goodbye he pranced on over to the table with John and them. He grabbed a seat from another table that was empty and pulled up next to Terezi at the end.

"H3ll0 Mr. Egbert,' said Terezi with a soft grin across her face. She had still remained blind from the events of the past but that didn't stop her from being quick with her licks and smells. She knew he was there before he even said anything.

"Hello Ms. Terezi, how are you today?" asked Dad. He pulled out his pipe only merely as a reflex as there was on tobacco in it.

" 1M, D01NG GR3AT. AND Y0URS3LF?" asked Terezi. Terezi gulped down some of her lemonade, and gave out a refreshing breath as a result.

"I am good, very good. I got a date tonight!" Dad exclaimed with glee, "so what's going on over here?"

"W3LL VR1SKA AND R0S3 AR3 G01NG AT 1T A80UT THAT N3W CRUDDY P1RAT3 M0V13, W3LL M0R3 L1K3 R0S3 1S HAV1NG A LAUGH AT VR1SKA'S 3XP3NS3," Terezi cackled at the end of her statement and turned her attention to John who had this odd look written across his face. It was a smell she didn't recognize. "S0M3TH1NG S33MS WR0NG W1TH J0HN TH0UGH."

Dad looked over at John and could tell something seemed wrong. He could feel it too, a strange wind blowing through the cafe. He went to say something to John to lighten him up but Jade cut in before he could and rather more direct than he was going to be.

"John are you ok? You have this odd sort of look on you're face that I haven't seen before," asked Jade with a slight worry to her voice. John looked up at her and smiled but it wasn't a normal smile. No, not normal at all. He had a fang. A single silver fang in his mouth. 

"Jade I'm fine but..............you, Dad and I need to talk," John said with his abnormal smile pointing directly at her. It wasn't scary but almost had a hint of sadness and anxiousness behind it.

Around this time Jade and Dad noticed what was going on. They looked around with faces in shock in awe at all their friends and family and saw that they weren't moving. But it wasn't just that, it was as if they were in a picture. A moment in time. No, more along the lines as if time had come to a halt. Everything around them began to fade out. Eventually they were in some place that was completely white with floating bits of colors that looked like smoke and light that were bluish in hue. The only people there were John, Jade and Dad. John eventually spoke up.

"I want you to meet someone."

They both stared at him for a few more minutes before one of them finally spoke, their faces though still in shock and awe.

"What.....What's going on?" Jade asked slowly still trying to process what happened. Her eyes continued to wander between John, Dad and the rest of the place they were in. Eventually her eyes settled on a figure in the distance. As the figure began to move closer she started making out a dark grey button-up hoddie with a black t-shirt underneath and black pants. The figure's hood was pulled up casting a shadow down on the figure's face. The figure approached the table them finally and at the distance of 2 feet in front of her she could tell that it was a young man.

John's previous statement finally processed in her mind and she turned and asked, "John, where are we and who is this?" She was only guessing that this was who he wanted to meet but It was a good guess and a right one too. John smirked a bit.

"You're in a special space we created and..... This is your brother, this.......is the rest of me." Jade's face grew confused at what John had said. 

Brother.

Brother..

Brother...

Jade coulnd't quite comprehend what was going on and as if to get her to calm down the young man clad in dark colors lowered his hood to reveal a boy with darkish blue eyes that had pupils that looked sort of ovalish with points. His hair was black, and a bit messy and spiky with two spikish locks hanging down in front of his ears. The two locks each had two white rings going all the way around towards the bottom of the locks. She also noticed his hands had black half finger gloves. He looked at her and smiled. His smile containing a small amount of mischief and genuine care. Sort of like John's sometimes....

"Suuuup Sis, Dad," exclaimed the young man.

End of Chapter 1.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is just sort of an interlude to Keiji telling his backstory, that chapter is like 3500 words so yeah.

# Chapter 2: The First Step To An Old World

Jade stared at the young man, still in awe over the current situation. However she managed to clamp down on her confusion and ask a simple question.

"Who are you?" The young man stared at her for a good few seconds as if contemplating an answer. He then spoke with a calm yet excited voice.

"My name is Keiji Nikolai Haku, and your name is Jade Harley." He turned to look at his dad who throughout the entire event at the moment had just sat back quietly, awestruck, watching things unfold. "And I call you, Dad, right?" He turned to look at John with an expectant smile.

"Yes he's dad, oh my gosh this is gonna be soooooooo awesome!!!!!!!!" spurted John who was filled mysteriously enough with pure excitement.

A moment of time had passed and Jade started up.

"John," she said still trying to stifle her confusion and awestruck face, "what is going on?"

"Oh well Jade you should probably take a seat and kick back because this is going to take a while," explained John. As soon as he finished his words a table "phased" in front of him with 4 chairs for them. At this point Dad and Jade couldn't comprehend anything so instead of staring in awe they decided to take a seat hoping that in doing so would allow them to be imparted with the understanding necessary for the given situation. However their faces still showed their confusion and awe.

John and Keiji sat down right across from Dad and Jade. John took a deep breath and began, "Ok sooo, about 4 month ago I was standing in a mirror admiring my ghostbuster Nic Cage shirt that I alchemized and I started to feel this odd breeze blowing in my room. I turned around expecting to see, well, anything really. But it was just the same stuff as usual. When I turned back to my mirror I saw him, Keiji, staring at me with a completely blank face."

"I was not expecting you to be able to see me," said Keiji with a distracted face. He was fidgeting with his arm for some reason. There was some kind of thin black plate-like arm band.

"Yeah well I wasn't expecting to see you," John chuckled and then continued on, "anyways, after a bit Keiji started to talk about he was excited to see me and i was pretty dang confused though but he started to tell me who he was and how he got there."

John paused to look at the young man next to him. Appearing as if he was in his late teens/very early twenties he had this look on his face that seemed mature. John smirked and laughed because he knew the truth.

John jumped right back in after a second, "His name is Keiji and he is from another Universe--" 

"Multiverse," keiji corrected.

"Oh sorry, Multiverse, and theres like maaaaaaanny different multiverses with many different universe in them," John stopped there because he knew Keiji would chime in.

"A universe is governed on the highest level of restriction. Each universe follows the same exact rules in a particular multiverse, although they have different outcomes. In the case of different multiverse, each one has a diffrent set of rules altogether or even nearly similar rules but never quite the same. In one multiverse apples are considered red and bananas yellow but in another multiverse the conceptual words might be switched and upon entering that multiverse you may no longer recognize the concepts as you did before although the memories and knowledge will remain, it will no longer feel right," Keiji ended his brief-ish explaination allowing Jade and Dad time to process this new information. 

In their minds they understood quite well what he had said although the concepts and ideas still seemed too amazing for them. John furthured the discussion with more of his tale.

"He explained to me what I am as well. See he got sent to this multiverse by some bad guys and when he got here a piece of his existence broke off and became me, how did he say it, this particular instance of me, John Egbert. The piece breaking off caused him to be pushed into this space you see all around you and he became trapped."

"Basically John is a piece of my existence. When he came into being he was merely energy and then he went through whatever birthing process this universe decided for him and he also had to abide by the rules of this multiverse so he was 'copied' infinitely for each separate universe. However the copies are merely just that, copies. This single instance, this particular John is the only one that is not just 'John,' he is also me. This John is a part of my being, and I would like to be whole again," Keiji ended this new explaination and this time he stared intently at Jade and Dad, hoping they would understand what he was trying to say. Keiji knew that there was a chance that what he wanted to accomplish here wouldn't happen but nevertheless he felt it was necessary to try.

After a period of silence passed Jade finally spoke up, "So what you're trying to say is John is you and you are John?"

"Precisely," Keiji answered.

"I am not sure what to do or how to react to that..." exclaimed Jade completely flustered now. She looked down at her hands trying to think of anything to do. This was just to fantastical in the end for her. Her moment of being lost in thought was cut short by Keiji.

"I know, its fantastical and pretty damn difficult to take in so instead of trying so hard right now to understand how about I tell you my story from beginning to end?" inquired Keiji with a sincere tone in his voice. 

"What about our friends in the Cafe, I should--," Jade tried to ask but was cut off by John.

"All time in this multiverse was halted by Keiji." John gave her a look of assurance to try and ease her mind. "Nothing will happen to them, Jade, I promise." 

She looked at John with a worried face but eventually it began to return to her confused face as she nodded and accepted what John had said. 

Keiji then began the venture into his story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a big one about Keiji's backstory. I didn't include everything about him and tried to summarize it clearly. I want to save some stuff for later for some key plot points and interesting twists and turns.

# Chapter 3: An Old Story Told

"Please listen to my story from start to beginning. I will answer any and all questions afterwards. Basically please don't interrupt until the story is over."

Jade looked at Keiji for a bit still in the same confused state but eventually she, and Dad, nodded their heads.

Keiji sighed, rested his elbows on the table and put his head on his hands, "My mother and father were part of a very old race called the Altairans. They held great power and technology. The 2 of them were scientists working on restoring a certain organ in all living things called the Evolution Gland, or E-Gland for short. It's incredibly small and phases out into another dimension 100 times per second as it is connected to the dimension where all souls exist. The E-Gland is what causes living specimens to change over time and evovle. For most everything the E-Gland shuts down after a given period of evolution. It requires a massive amount of energy to start it and keep it going. Like the energy of 8 white dwarfs."

Keiji paused a moment for effect and continued right back up," My parents were scientists trying to find a way to turn it back on permanently for anyone. Eventually they came up with a theory and procceeded to test it on themselves. My mother was unaware of the fact she was pregnant with me at the time. The test had failed as nothing happened but it wasn't till later when they fled during a war to the homeworld of a race called the Omni that they learned they had done the experiment when i was still in her womb. They worried endlessy until the day I was born. When they finally saw me it seemed as if I was ok my being, unbeknownst to them, broke into 2 parts and one part was sent to a place called the Shores of Eon where I gained a special connection to time. That connection later became my access to the ability to control time when i turned 18."

keiji paused for effect once more and let out a small sigh," When I turned 17 the rule was to get an internship, so I chose to become a security guard for a doctor friend of mine. Late at night one time, when I was locking everything up, someone had broke in and caused and explosion. I thought for sure that with the writhing flames and debris that I would die but small being named Alpha, or Alfy, saved me. Eventually I made my way back home to find out the truth of my parents experiments and that, while it didn't affect them, it affected me completely. My E-Gland was on permanently and I had already changed. I thought was Omni, then when my parents finished telling me their story I thought I was Altairan but no. I had already evolved when i was born. The first stage in my evolutionary path was having my soul pulled from the Zero Dimension where all souls are and having it merge with my body. My soul existed as 9 separate, glowing, golfbal-sized cells. I needed a name for my race so I called us Soulnine. The soul cells, or S cells, allowed me the ability to manipulate the base form of energy and matter called inFinite energy, or IE. I could do miraculous things, dangerous things, and almost nearly impossible things but society's standards."

Keiji stopped and a glass of chocolate milk materialized in his hand. He sipped a bit of it and went back to his life story," Eventually the Omni High Council caught wind of all this and sent soldiers to eradicate, they wanted to remain top dog (dicks). I ran away and travelled across the planet finding more like me and after a year we were at the final lap of a war between the Soulnine and the Omni. In the midst of the final battle I ended up killing to close friends. It was then I found I could revive people from death 30 days after they died. They didn't want it though but still forgave me nonetheless. They did give me the tools to end the war and a new policy; don't kill unless its an absolute necessity."

Jade and Dad looked into Keiji's blue eyes expecting to see something evil after hearing those last words but merely saw an untouchable sadness that quickly vanished into a determination.

Keiji continued his story,"Eventually me and 3 others ended the war buy taking out every weapon we could get our hands on of the Omni's. They surrendered and all we asked for was land to live in peace. Some of us desired to travel. 250-ish other Soulnine and I travelled to a planet populated by humans. We had a relatively dramatic entrance into one of their cities and they welcomed us with open arms. For a while everything seemed good but we caught the attention of a nasty group called Red Wolf Industries who believed we were a threat to their plans so..."

Jade and Dad, who were now completely immersed in this tail looked onto Keiji with expectant eyes not even realizing how terrifying his next words were.

"....They dropped 3 nuclear warheads on the city. It killed every human. 443,521 dead. All because of us....we survived though, every Soulnine..."

Jade and Dad had this look of utter horror in their face. What kind of person goes through that and how bad is it actually especially when they remember the exact number of dead. They were starting to understand some the sadness they saw in his eyes before.

"Anyways, we wanted revenge so 14 of us faked our deaths publicly so as to throw off Red Wolf from our trails specifically. Under the cover of the shadows we hunted down Red Wolf members and took out their bases. We would leave a note that only read 'We are what's left.' They began to call us a certain name in response, Remnants. It was fitting at the time. We had garnered their attention and their fear. We were unstoppable. Eventually we ended up at the headhoncho himself and I was left with no other choice. I killed him. I was not happy for what I did but I was happy that it was over."

Jade looked to her left at Dad and both of them could feel they were thinking the same thing. What would happen if they were in his position. The choice didn't sound like it was made with ease.

"After some time, I picked up Alfy and we travelled to other worlds. Together, just me and him. We happened upon a reporter name Johnny Ryter on one world. We would endlessly make fun of his name but he was a good guy. We became friends and I eventually told him about myself even proving it with acts of, dare I say pure awesomeness. He kept it secret, not like I cared if he did or not. One day he some rumors about experimentation on some rich guy's resort island. I told him I would come with to check it out, figuring maybe I could help. I......wasn't expecting what happened."

Jade stared into Keiji's eyes for a brief moment before realizing something as he started to look down at his chocolate milk.

This was difficult for him. This was stuff he didn't want to talk about.

"When we got there everthing was fine, then we started snopping around. We found out he was experimenting with some mutative virus. He had cages with creatures locked up. They were twisted looking and horrifying. I was going to do something about it but one of the creatures had apparently escaped before and started wreaking havoc on the island. We were also caught by the madman himself. He grabbed Johnny and injected him with the virus. I was forced to kill him...."

Dad wanted to reach over and comfort him. He could tell that this was one of the worst things that happened to him by the overwhelming anger and sadness in his eyes, however he didn't because the look in Keiji's eyes vanished and returned to their determined state.

"One of the monsters bit me but I was unaffected however I was attacked by the creature that was wreaking havoc on the island resort and, while I did kill it, it had knocked me out. A group of that planet's scientists found me and dragged me to a place called Whitebrick Asylum. They were a partner for the madman. They didn't have a name or anything as far as I could tell. They saw the bite mark on my arm and figured I might be either immune to the virus or I adapted it. They also wanted to test a new anti pshycotic drug for humans that would in all effect 'break their mind.' They strapped me into a chair and injected dose after dose of the shit. The problem that came with all of this was this; I was not human. The drug had an adverse effect creating an entity inside my mind called the Creeping Insanity. Dangerous fucking bastard but I still manage to keep him locked up. I eventually found an oppertune time to escape the asylum when another creature like the one on the island broke out from their hidden basement and went on a mutilation spree. Needless to say but I kiilled the damn thing."

Keiji stopped to drink some of his chocolate milk and turned to look at John staring at him attentively. He already told John all of this but John didn't seem to mind listening. Well he was him and vice versa, Keiji guess it didn't really matter at all.

"I continued to travel after I found Alfy. However through out my escapades after the asylum my body began to change. The S Cells as if they were eggs cracked inside me and my soul became a liquid and began to flow throughout my body. After a while I grew 2 horns on top of my head that went from black at the bottom to a bright, glowing, light blue at the top. My blood turned a solid black with a dark bluish tint from the opaque red it was before. Scale plates like this one began appearing on my body."

Keiji held up his arm and showed them the black plate like band that ran on the top of his forearm stopping at his wrist.

"I am still not sure what the plates are or do myself but that doesn't really bother me. I have a friend that knows and has a book published by another friend that I can get later that has information on the subject. I have been out of touch as to the knowledge of my species but I really don't care."

Another brief pause for chocolate milk, "After a few months of travelling I found myself on a desert-like planet. I wandered around for a bit and found it's cities had been decimated but it seemed to have happened many years ago. one of the buildings was a small office. I looked around in it and chanced upon what I thought was the door to the basement except it had strange symbols on it. I chalked it up to one of that planet's various languages that had possibly gone extinct. I broke down the door and it was a cave. I walked for a quite a bit till I reached the end where there was some really high tech machinery. Like really high tech. If i was in the position of anyone on that planet before it had its destruction I would call it an ancient alien room. At the center was a console that was dusty beyond belief. I cleared it off and the symbols lit up on in it. A hand print lit up as well and I figured to get anywhere with that I might as well play along so I put my hand on it. At that moment I saw so many images and had so many thoughts. All of them revovled around something called an Archon Hunter. I had no idea what the hell that was but I could tell that it was some kind of warrior. All the knowledge I had gained at the time from the console I played around with and tried some of the techniques as well. After spending an adequate amount of time, 3 months to be exact, training myself on the teachings of this ancient warrior I noticed another console off in the corner started blinking. I went up to it hoping for maybe the same occurence as before but as soon as I put my hand on it, I was sent to another place. A place called The Hub."

Keiji glanced a look at Jade and was considering what she might have been thinking. I really hope this all works out, she seems like an awesome sister.

"When I arrived I was greeted in a normal fashion as if this was a common occurence. The place was amazing sprawling with people and the fountains, oh god the numerous amount of fountains. I played it cool and tried to stealthily get any information I could. I found out they were called Archons and that they were sort of like super multiversal peacekeepers and explorers. Their tech was way beyond anything I had seen. Archons also came in different classes apparently and generally new archons would appear from anywhere gaining the teachings of other Archons from their homeplanets. For them a stranger popping in that happened to have the knowledge of the Archons and was wanting to be one was not all that strange. As they told me more and more about the Archons, I grew this want to become one. Turns out though I already was. They wanted to guage my abilities as an Archon and explained to me to not use my racial capabilites in the test but just my own personal abilities. They ranked Archons from F to S and then there was a Master Archon. They were the best in class and there was only one at any given time. My class was Hunter. As such I would take out single targets and/or small groups. Bosses were our specialty apparently. It turned out that the previous Master Archon Hunter had just recently so I considered the thought of vieing for it, didn't really care if anyone else wanted it, still don't."

Keiji paused to catch his breath. He had been talking quite a bit. It was as if hours had gone by but really it had only been 45 minutes.

"When they finally got my test ready, they let me know that I would be sparring with a Master Archon. When we got to the battle staging area there was a man accross the way. He carried a shield of energy and heavy looking white armor. I donned the Hunters armor I had found in the alien cave. It was kind of like a baggy-ish assassin outfit with white cloth, silver trimmings and blue trimmings as well. Kinda comfy though. The man with the shield said he'd go easy but I proceeded to beat the crap out of him even after he got serious. There were 7 other Masters there too, and one by one they started to jump into the fight, all of them seemingly brimming with excitement. Of course I took them all out in the course of a couple minutes. The ones handling the test were shocked, not just because I beat 8 Masters but because they saw Hunter techniques they had never heard of. Eventually I found out that the alien cave had very old Archon texts that were lost during the...Lost War....stupid fucking cliche...Apparently a lot of the Old Texts were never found but I happened to have them recorded in a journal. I gave them the journal and they gave me an assignment. Hunt. That was all I did. I tracked targets and apprehended them. They were proccessed in the hub and then I would get paid. It was rather nice. About 1 year went by and I was offered a chance to become the new Master Archon Hunter, which I accepted. Some events during the Mastery test occured but the end result was me becoming the current Master Archon Hunter. I could pick whatever mission I wanted and I could bring in unregistered criminals from anywhere in any multiverse."

Another brief pause for chocolate milk, the glass almost empty signifying the close end to his story.

"This is close to where we pick up why and how I got here. I got dispatched to find a man named Jeremiah Asura in a Multiverse that would be relatively close to this one if you could map it out somehow. Jeremiah knew a Hunter was after him apparently because he set a trap for me I was not expecting. I got caught in a device that hurled my existance into another multiverse and the impact actually broke part of my existance off which has resulted in the situation before you. And thats where we are at right now."

Keiji finished his chocolate milk and his story. He sat back and allowed Jade and his Dad to soak up all the information that he had just dropped on them.  
30 minutes of silence passed.....

Jade was the first to speak, she spoke with a small sort of understanding at his story but one question boggled her mind, "I get it I think but.....what are you wanting exactly?"

Keiji and John both rubbed the back of their necks respectively before Keiji spoke, "I want me and John to recombine, I want to be whole again."

Jade and Dad turned to look at each other unsure of what to do and then John finally began to speak.

"He and I are the same exact person, I can feel it and Jade...Dad... I know without a doubt you can too," John looked upon them with the exact same eyes of determination Keiji had and for some reason it clicked. Throughout his entire story his eyes looked like all the time John's did when they were giving off the same sort of feeling. They really were the same but Jade still found it hard to explain. In the back of her mind though there was no doubt.

"I don't know how we can help though, this is kinda over our heads," said Jade with a quizzicle look that questioned their purpose for being there.

Both John and Keiji smirked the exact same smirk. Keiji said," Don't worry you can help but is there any questions you would like to ask first?"

Jade and Dad thought for a moment and a rush of questions flooded their brains. So many things they wanted to know but at the same time based on Keiji's previous looks during his story maybe those questions should be saved for a better time. Jade did have a few though that were simple but for some reason she had to know them.

"What's your favorite color? What are your hobbies? What kind of music do you like? How old are you? And do you like cake?"

Keiji stared at her contemplating the point of the questions before it donned on him.

"Are you gonna tell me?" asked Jade,"I would like to know more about my brother please and I am sure our Dad wants to know more too." She smiled happily at Keiji who for the first since meeting was awestruck. After a few moments he regained his composure.

"My favorite color is blue. I like anime, video games and movies. I like a plethora of music except Akorian peddle music and most rap although I like Dave's raps, they crack me up. And to answer your last question NO." Keiji lightly slapped his hand down on the table on the last answer he gave. Jade merely chuckled at him letting him know that she accepted. They both turned to look at Dad who had not said a word. He took the tobaccoless pipe out of his mouth and spoke.

"Annnd how old are you? You left that out."

"I am 21 Jade...and yes before you ask why am I older than John, I cannot explain."

"You're my son no matter whether you're just a part or a whole, if you wanna be whole I will help you but you'll have to hang out with your old man for a bit later, ok?"

Keiji blinked a few times then laughed a bit. It was a laughter that was filled with happiness. "Alrighty Dad."

Jade then asked the all-important question,"Soooo how do we get you whole again?"

Keiji and John turned to look at each other then made two wide exact replic grins. They had a great plan for that. 

The Greatest. Plan. Ever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worst. Plan. Ever.
> 
> Really short chapter. Its there to move the story along.
> 
> I am not quite being forthcoming with Keiji's entire personality. I have reasons that will be shown in later chapters.
> 
> Bug Zapper FTW!

# Worst. Plan. Ever.

Keiji rustled around in his chair and John stretched a bit. The long part was over but the difficult was just beginning.

"Alright," said Keiji, "Here's how I figured out how to fix this I think. I am like 90% sure this will work."

Jade and Dad looked on attentively trying their hardest to grasp each detaill of the perplexing plan that was going to be laid out before them. However the next thing Keiji said made them question this entirely.

"I'm gonna send you back. Jade next to John on his right side is a stun gun. It's been suped up to 100 million volts. You're gonna stun John on the back of the neck with it." As soon as Keiji finished Jade's jaw dropped and she turned to look at their Dad who was actually just relaxing there in his seat.

"WHAT THE HELL???? THATS LIKE THE STUPIDEST PLAN I EVER HEARD!!!" exclaimed Jade who was at this point leaning in her seat and pointing at Keiji. She had the most annoyed face ever. Keiji raised his hands and tried to make a reassuring gesture to go with what he was going to say.

"No look, its a great plan. Here's why. John and I have a connection currently open and it won't last long either mind you. If you sent a massive batch of energy into John it would enter the connection to me. Our bodies would recognize something is wrong and force us back together. It has to be the back of the neck. I can't explain why but trust me on this it has too. There is a minor flaw in the plan."

"OH REALLY?!?!? THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE THE MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION OR IS THAT NOT QUITE CONSIDERED A FLAW IN YOUR GREAT PLAN!?" Jade was starting to fume and then Keiji replied.

"Well....I mean... there's not really any other way. The real flaw of this plan is where we will be forced back to. There's a chance we will fuse back into this space. We will trapped indefinitely. That's only like a 5% chance though--" Keiji was cut short by Jade.

"5% FUCKING PERCENT?? WHAT THE FUUCK IS THE OTHER 5?????????"

"I am not quailfied to answer that," said keiji. More or less Jade could tell that Keiji was actually just being lazy and didn't want to say.

"THE HELL YOU AREN'T, GOGDAMMIT KEI--" Jade was cut off by their Dad who had place a hand on her head and spoke.

"Jade, honey, it seems to me like they know what they're doing besides wouldn't you like the chance to have your whole brother?" 

Jade looked at him and she knew what her answer was and she knew that Dad knew what her answer was as well. She let out a sigh and said, "alright, nevermind asking where you got the mega stun gun--" Keiji cut in for a short comment.

"Bug zapper." Jade stared at him really annoyed and he said, "its for comedic purposes later."

She ignored that and finished what she was saying, "Whatever, what do you need us to do?'

Keiji looked and went to say something but light flickered on in his head. He had almost forgot the second important thing.

"Before I tell you, you should know that the previous mentioned Jeremiah is somewhere near the Cafe. I have to capture him and send him to the hub for processing. I kinda would like to get paid for this whole fiasco." Jade gave him a blank stare but then sighed acknowledging that her brother was a working man.

"Alrighty, Jade you have to wait till John gives you the thumbs up. At that point grab the Bug Zapper to the side, jam into our neck, and let it rip. Dad I'm going to need you to play defense. I don't imagine anyone is really just gonna stand by and watch this all unfold," Keiji paused to look at John who and seemed to have an obvious question written on his face. "Before you even ask John, I didn't bring everyone in because really don't want to play 'lets-see-who-can-ask-the-most-questions' game. Besides time is of the essence."

Jade and Dad took a few minutes to take everthing in and grasp the situation, and what was about to unfold. They knew what they had to do and in the back of their minds they were really exicted but as they turned to look at Keiji they noticed the untouchable sorrow again. They thought and thought, wondering what it was.

Keiji cut through the silence with his words, " Alright if you're on board, I am gonna send you back now." Jade and Dad nodded and like that they were back in the Cafe with John.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found this chapter hilarious. Really shows keiji's more interesting parts.
> 
> Also I completely agree. Its not cake. IT WILL NEVER BE CAKE!!!!

# Chapter 5: IT'S NOT CAKE

Jade and Dad peered around the room when they got back. Their eyes landed back on the group they were sitting with. Kanaya, Rose, Terezi and Vriska were staring at John waiting for his answer to Jade's question, the question she made before everything happened. John looked up at Jade, the single silver fang gone. He gave her a grand smile. She knew he was ready. Dad and her made eye contact and nodded at each other. They were ready. John was ready. Keiji was ready.

John raised up his glass and downed the last bit of lemonade and then pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something down. He then folded up the paper and stuck it under his glass. He turned to look in the direction of Dad and Jade.

He gave a thumbs up.

Everything that followed happened in mere moments. Jade reached next to John and pulled out the Bug Zapper. She quickly jammed it against his neck and hesitated for a moment before regaining her thoughts. She pressed the trigger and streaks of electricity surged in and around John. 

Several people got up to stop her but Dad was quick to hold them off. Jade could hear screaming and yelling telling her to stop. She didn't though, she knew it would all be fine. 

The power was almost up on the Bug Zapper. The hectic situation was escalating rapidly and then....nothing.

The electricity died down and there was smoke and dust all around. The dust and smoke eventually settled. Jade watched patiently but nervous to no end.

Once the dust and smoke cleared a giant smile grew across her face and a tear streamed from her eye. Next to her was Keiji, her brother.

He turned to look at her and after a few seconds he made the goofiest smile ever. Instead of buckteeth he now had a single silver fang on the right side of his mouth. He looked like a dork but she didn't care. She was happy beyond all measure. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him the biggest hug she could. He hugged her back and then spoke softly.

"I'm, uh, here hehe."

Jade chuckled, "obviously you dork."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dad eventually managed to sit down. He made a turn with his head, scanning the room. Everyone had these stun and awestruck looks on their faces. He had expected that but he didn't really have a way to handle it. He turned to look at Keiji and he smiled. He was glad it worked. Keiji had John's knowledge but he still felt they should bond later after all this so as to reaclamate Keiji to his somewhat new life.

Keiji had been looking around the room at everyone. Their faces of awe wasn't all that surprising but that didn't change the fact that he didn't know what to say to any of them. He could say hi or maybe crack a joke. Make a stupid pun maybe? He loved stupid puns. The problem he had was this wasn't a situation he knew how to handle. Sure he had been this epic badass tearing through enemies but this was an entirely new development for him and he felt socially awkward at the moment.

After he finished viewing everyone's faces he turned his head down to the empty glass in front of him. There was a note underneath the glass. He knew it was from John and he knew it was for him. Keiji opened up the letter and read it slowly;

_Hey Keiji or me, is that right?  
I am assuming we are now super awesome hehehe  
Good luck to us!!_

_P.S. There is cheesecake in the cafe and mountain dew. You know what to do._

Keiji looked over the note a couple times and after a bit of time his eyes settled on the post script about cheesecake and dew. He then slammed the note on the table. He put both of his hands towards the center of the table and used them to vault himself over the table to the otherside where he then began to walk towards cashier. Everyone had watched this action occur but their brains were still trying to process the previous events.

Keiji stopped in front of the cashier who also happened to have his jaw dropped. He couldn't make out what Keiji was saying, his thoughts were still lost. Eventually a finger snapping in front of his face brought him back to reality.

"Holy crap finally, I want some damn cheesecake and Mountain Dew. Being trapped in a closed off super dimension with fucking crap to eat really makes you want the good stuff," keiji explained to the man behind the counter. Jade made her way up to Keiji and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. He quickly turned to face Jade.

"I thought you said you didn't like cake," said Jade questioningly. Keiji's rebuttal caught her off guard but also made her chuckle and then laugh.

"BLASPHEMY!! Cheesecake is not cake. I don't care if every fuckin google search says it is. I don't care if you're fictious gods proclaimed it is. I don't even care if it was decided by Oriana her fucking self. I will ignore the damn facts to the end of time. I will be the most ignorant sonofabitch ever. It may not be a pie but it is damn well not a FUCKING CAKE," Keiji raised his fists to the air in proclamation. The part Jade found funny was the fact he was being completely serious.

Keiji then saluted to...absolutely no one. After his rousing speech and salute he padded his pants for his wallet only to find that it contained no currency. He had the currency for the Archons but he was sure there was no exchange for it there. Jade, in a flash, handed the man behind the counter the money to pay for Keiji's NOT CAKE cheesecake and Mountain dew. She then teleported both of themselves back to their seats. Keiji set his drink and food down and began to take small bites of the cheesecake, each bite he would relish in glory.

After getting through half of the cheesecake he stopped to glance at Jade.

"Jade"

"Yes Keiji?"

"I will let you explain everything I said."

Jade gave him a very annoyed look, "Why should I do that, it's your story."

"Don't wanna."

"WHY NOT?!?!"

"I already did it once, i don't wanna do it again darmit. Look Dad will help you fill in the blanks." Keiji gulped the rest of his soda and polished off the cheesecake. He then pointed to a blue light on his black arm band item. "This means Jeremiah is near here, I need to finish my bounty so I can get paid so I can buy nice things. I want the nice things Jade. Hell I'll buy you some awesome clothes from the Hub. Assuming I can get back there."

Jade gave him a blank stare for a few minutes before finally speaking up, "he's the guy that caused this right?"

"Yezzir," Keiji nodded.

"I guess I wouldn't mind if you went out of your way to pummel him and then arrest him," Jade relished the thought of this man Jeremiah getting punched really hard in the face for putting her brother in such a predicament. By brother she means Keiji who is also John who is also Keiji. 

"Alright then good, you handle the explaining, and I'm gonna open up an epic can of ass whoop on Jeremiah," Keiji exclaimed, after which he hand springed over the table again and in an instant he vanished. He ran faster than their eyes could manage. He began to skim the town trying to find the wretched man that fucked with him.

Once Keiji left, Jade made a huge sigh. The first out of everyone to finally speak was Rose.

"Jade...what..just happened," she asked in complete awe at the events that took place.

"Simple, we just brought back Keiji who is also John who is also Keiji," said Jade hoping it would garner some slight understanding. It did not though as rose looked more confused and awestruck than before. Jade let out another sigh and thought to herself; This is going to be a while. 

She beckoned everyone to gather around her and once they did she began.

"Alrighty soooo here's the story......"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not particularly my favorite chapter I've written. Pretty please with the foreshadowing though

# Chapter 6: Weak Punch

Keiji headed out of the cafe and began to walk around town. He took in the sites while he observed his surroundings looking for his target. He stopped every once in a while to look at some of the items in the stores he passed by. After about 20 minutes a female voice caught his attention.

"Holy crap where is this guy."

Keiji knew the voice and immediately looked down at the black band item on his left arm, "Hi Seeth, looks like my Personal Band Computing Device still works."

A voice came from the PBCD, "Hello Keiji dear, I am glad to see you finally got out of that damn place. I was asleep for so damn long. By the way I thought we were going to call it the Oracle Band not that treacherous piece of crap name you just said."

"Oh yeah. Meh. I say we do one more sweep of the area and then head back to the cafe. We will try to figure out something then. Also lets try to keep a low profile, don't wanna spook the target."

Seeth only said,"Okay" in agreement.

"....and I wanna savor the look on his face when he realizes we are here hehehe," Keiji added.

Keiji made another pass through city and worked hard, well not really, to keep himself discreet. He stopped to look at the shops a few times before he finally made it back to the cafe. The whole excursion had taken roughly an hour. At that point Keiji figured Jade should be about done with everything. 

He reached the cafe and grabbed the handle. He was hoping to just slip into the back and avoid everyone for the time being so they could take in everything. He was hoping anyways. Dave had managed to catch his arm before he made it to the back.

"whoa whoa whoa, where are you going, sit here with us. We gotta get this shit on a roll. You got here just in time too," Dave gave Keiji a wry smile but Keiji's attention was elsewhere.

He had focused on a man in the very back with his hood down and headphones on. He was also wearing a brown trenchcoat, white shirt and brown pants. He looked like he was sleeping. Keiji's face turned from a neutral look to a gleeful grin. He didn't even bother looking in the cafe. He was so out of it at the time still. He found him. He found the cruddy bastard Jeremiah Asura.

Dave started waving his hand in front of Keiji's face but Keiji was definitely not aware. He brushed Dave's hand off and then Dave rose from his seat to get a hold of Keiji but before he could a female voice stopped him.

"Please do not interfere, Mr. Strider. This situation may get very dangerous human." 

Dave backed off and watched as Keiji pulled up a chair to the table the man was at. He sat across from him and kept his hood down to hide his face. Eventually the man looked up and in a gritty and rude tone asked, "What the hell do you want?" 

Keiji's grin grew bigger and then he began to laugh and laugh and laugh.

"Whats wrong you don't recognize me Jeremiah." Jeremiah froze. His face went white as a ghost. He knew that voice. He knew it all too well. That was the voice of the Archon Hunter he trapped in another multiverse. The man shivered in fear. He was quaking and wondering if he could escape. He wasn't ready for this and he sure as hell wasn't ready for what came next.

Keiji's grin vanished and for a couple minutes nothing happened. In an instant the man got up and darted behind the counter. Keiji turned to look at the man and saw that he was holding the young cashier hostage. 

"Don't make any sudden movements or I blow this fuckers head off." Jeremiah's trench coat had come off and was revealing the 4 arms he possessed. Each hand had a gun it and pointed at the cashier. His hair was a bright orange-ish red and was spiked up. His face as Keiji would put it was burnt and scarred and "gnarly."

Everyone's faces turned to horror as the scene in front of them unfolded. However Keiji still remained expressionless.

5 minutes of silence passed and Keiji proceeded to get up but he was met with harsh words, "Sit the fuck back down or I SPLATTER HIS GUTS ON THE WALLS!!!!."

Keiji ignored his statement and got up. He began to walk slowly to the man who was 10 feet away. 

"I AM WARNING YOU STAY AWAY!!!!"

Keiji moved closer.

"FINE!!," Jeremiah pulled the trigger on each of the hand guns. 4 gun shots were heard but he looked down at the cashier and he was unharmed.

Jeremiah started fuming and shot all 4 guns once more placing them right up against the cashier's body.

Nothing happened.

Jeremiah looked confused beyond belief but everything seemed to fall into place once he looked up and saw Keiji.

Keiji had changed. He was now wearing a white outfit similar to a Xi except there were no flaps hanging down. He had two horns on the top of his head that went from a black with an aura at the base to a glowing light blue at the top. His skin had turned pale white and his eyes a lighter blue. The whites of his eyes had become black and he had the biggest grin imaginable showing off his single silver fang.

Jeremiah muttered a few words under his breath," _Half-dragon form...You're Dragonine...,_ "

Jeremiah was afraid but he thought he could still make it out of there. However his face had been flushed of color when he saw Keiji's black Oracle Band on his arm. His jaw dropped and a ghastly fear ran over him.

"Oh god...no..no....no no no no no OH GOD I FUCKED UP.... you're ...him...the....the Black Archon," Jeremiah stuttered.

Keiji's grin somehow managed to grow bigger. He reached out his clenched fist and showed it to Jeremiah. He opened up his fist and 8 bullets fell to the ground. Jeremiah had become frozen in fear. Before Jeremiah could react Keiji had stopped time to move the cashier and his friends out of the way. He also lined up Jeremiah with the door and turned him around. Once time began to flow normally again Jeremiah gasped and cringed at what he was looking at and what he knew had just happened. Before he could finish his thought, Keiji, who was facing him, hurled his fist into Jeremiahs face. Once his fist connected Jeremiah was sent way far backwards in a mere fraction of a second, out the door and to the other side of the street only stopping just before he reached the building on the other side of the street.

For the next 5 minutes there was only silence but it was eventually broken by Keiji and none other than Dave.

"Fuck, I really am lacking in power, that was such a weak punch," exclaimed Keiji. 

Dave, without missing a beat, retorted with, " Dude you punched him across the block. The. Block. Theres some damn irony in that. Not to mention that was pretty badass." Dave caught Keiji staring at him and said, "See something you like sugah?"

Keiji's mind ran through so many thoughts about whether he should speak or not but Dave's smile let Keiji know that he didn't need to worry. It was business as usual. Although the business was strange as hell. 

"Well Dave you do have a nice ass." 

"Thanks bro you got some nice glowing horns there."

"Why thank you dave."

At this particular moment Jade rose from her seat and glared at Keiji. "Keiji, he already has a matesprit. Don't just say those kind of things freely." 

To which Keiji replied with, "Wow what happened to the world where a man can't compliment another man's ass without it implying some perceived romantic notion?"

"Yeah Jade what the fuck, way to crush another man's non-sexualized compliments into dust," Dave added.

Jade's only rebuttal was a face palm. At this single moment Keiji had won 2 battles.

Face Palm Win count: 1

Once the conversation ended Keiji's clothes and appearance reverted back to his regular clothes and he proceeded out the door and across the street where the currently unconcious Jeremiah was. Once he reached him the Oracle band lit up a bit and a blue circle filled him with other circles and strange looking markings appeared below the man. Another appeared right above him that looked exactly the same. In a flash of light the man and circles disappeared leaving a small pillar of light that was only slightly a bit bigger than a pencil. Keiji took the cylinder and put it on a lit up circle on his OB and the cylinder vanished.

Keiji called over to the Cafe for Jade, "JADE CAN WE JUST GO HOME IM FREAKIN TIRED?"

Jade came out of the Cafe looking somewhat relieved, annoyed and happy at the same time and said, "I guess but you're gonna talk with everyone tomorrow. Got it?"

"YES MILORD."

Keiji, Jade and Dad proceeded home. Throughout the rest of the night they talked about many different things from some of Keiji's lesser travels to why the hell is cotton candy a thing (Don't ask). After a lot of chatter and some hugs goodnight Dad and Jade went to bed.

Keiji did not.

Seeth spoke to Keiji quietly once they were in his room, "Keiji this can't go on much longer."

"I don't know what you're talking about Seeth."

With that last remark Seeth let out a sigh. 

Night eventually drifted into morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quite enjoyed this chapter. Sort of diluted because I didn't want to include every single conversation. I threw in some good stuff that wasn't necessarily needed and added the important stuff mixed in. 
> 
> Finally introducing Seeth.
> 
> Oh and Face Palms, lots of em.

# Chapter 7:The War of Faces and Palms

The morning was blazen with a red tint. Keiji peeled himself away from his Oracle Band long enough to notice the time. Before he could make a mental note of it however a rustled Jade that looked like she had been smacked with a club of static electricity teleported through his door.

“Keiji, its 8:30, get...uppp....mmmm.”

Keiji stared at the puffy cloud of blackness on top of her head and laughed under his breath.

“Yeah Haha, fuckin, my hair looks like this after....I get uppp..pppuh.” Jade stared back at him with a dead pan and tired look on her face that said “His bed looks so comfy.” Her thoughts changed though after she gazed at his face a bit more.

“Did you sleep at all?” She asked Keiji wondering how in the world he looked so alive in the morning.

Keiji gave her a small grin, “Uh what else do you do at night? Besides stay up watching Adventure Time.”

Jade's jaw dropped a slight bit. She didn't realize he could hear her TV. She readied herself to apologize but a female voice interjected.

“If you're wondering if you were too loud, you weren't. I keep track of all electronic occurrences in the immediate vicinity. Sorry if it seemed differently, its kinda what I do as the Master Archon Oracle. I should daresay though that I enjoyed watching it with you, well not 'with' with you I merely hijacked your stream and watched it along with you from in here. You pause a lot though. Like a lot, makes one curious about you're nightly doings, maybe you wer--.”

“And we are done with this conversation!” Keiji interrupted. He watched Jade for a bit realzing that she hadn't even realize what Seeth had even said but was more entranced by the fact there was a female voice she couldn't pinpoint the location of.

“Where the hell is that voice coming from? Who is that?,” Jade asked with a confused tone.

“Oh I am sorry my name is Seeth and I am currently in the Oracle Band on Keiji's left arm,” Seeth explained. Keiji pointed to his Oracle Band and Seeth continued her brief explanation of her whereabouts, “I am currently housed inside his OB while I run a full sweep of diagnostic scans on him to make sure everything is ok. I can come out later though since I am almost done.”

Jade looked puzzled at her last statement, “You can....Come out?”

“Yes I can create a body of energy and solidify and harden it so as to facilitate a more personal form of communication,” Seeth explained calmly and almost robotic-like as if she had done this before.

“Huh, I don't really know how to handle that information at the moment, but I think maybe I am getting used to all the fantastical things involving you brother,” said Jade. She teleported out of his room and made her way to the bathroom, slowly teleporting one foot at a time.

 

 

Jade and Keiji made their way downstairs where their Dad was cooking breakfast. He made everything: sausage, bacon, ham, eggs, biscuits and gravy, pancakes, toast, french toast, and most importantly, homemade orange juice. 

Keiji's eyes widened to an almost unbearable state. Jade turned to look at him and saw a thought written across his face.

_food_  
_Foood_  
_Foooood_  
_FOOOOOOOD!!!!!!_

Keiji was drooling at this point. He sat down at the table ready to get into gear but he waited for Jade and Dad who had already been seated. 

A few minutes passed and they began to wonder why Keiji hadn't taken a bite or piled a plateful into his mouth yet with the look sprawled across his face. Dad finally got to the point where he was a bit concerned and asked Keiji,”Why aren't you eating son? Is something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh I didn't know if you guys did like a prayer or something before you ate,” Keiji explained.

“Not really, unless you wanted to do one?” replied Dad. He figured Keiji might have a different set of cultural standards than them and they should be respectful about it.

“No, in fact, we have a saying where I am from. 'No gods, and No masters.' There is a huge story behind it but its not a very happy one and most importantly it really has nothing to do with me for the most part on how it came to be,” Keiji exclaimed. He then began to pile his plate full of food, giddy from the sheer amount. Seeth made it a point to remind Keiji of something important about him eating and at the same time let his family know a bit about the Dragonine.

“Keiji, you have to remember to eat plenty. I also believe it is good to let you know, Jade and Mr. Egbert, that Dragonine must eat half their mass in food each day. His mass is 83 Kilograms so he needs to eat about 42 Kilograms.” Jade listened somewhat attentively but for the most part she was curious on her Dad's reaction to Seeth. He seemed unphased. As it turns out Seeth talked with him secretly last night for an hour. For the most part he was used to her enough to not be amazed by a voice coming from a nifty arm band.

“Holy crap Seeth again with the damn teacher mode. Turn that crap off at the table, and while you're at it shoot me a funny video so I can drown you out for the next few minutes.” blurted Keiji in the midst of it all.

Seeth spoke in an annoyed tone, “First off, I am not sending you any damn links to you're optic nerve placement till I AM DONE with your diagnostic cycles, sheesh. Second, it is very important to make sure you're family knows what they are getting into when housing a Dragonine.”

“Yeah yeah fine.” Keiji went back to scarfing down his massive plate of food.

 

After breakfast Dad had to head to work and Jade decided she and Keiji would go to the cafe to visit everyone. It was to allow them to get to know Keiji like she has in the last few hours. As they made their way to the cafe they talked about all sorts of things. One of them happened to include a trip Keiji took to a desert where he, his words “Kid you not,” he saw a polka dot lama. Not a camel. A lama. With polka dots. Pink and green polka dots. He swore to Jade there were no drugs involved but he may have been hallucinating from the heat but nobody could prove him wrong.

Eventually they reached the cafe where a couple people had been waiting outside. Those couple people were Karkat and Dave. Sollux also emerged from the cafe upon their approach. As they got closer they heard Sollux talking to Dave.

“Okay tho I goth all the thables seth up,” explained Sollux. He turned to look at Keiji and Jade as they came up to them and called to them with mild enthusiam,”Hey sup Jade, Kei.”

Keiji replied back, “Kei?”

“Yeah, ith what I'm gonna call you from now on,” Sollux explained.

“Coo.”

Dave and Karkat stared at Keiji the entire time from when he arrived. Keiji eventually noticed this and walked up to Dave with a sort of determination in his eyes. By the time anyone realized what was going on Dave and Keiji were having a stare down.

About 5 minutes passed with the two young men just staring at each other. Eventually Keiji reached out his hand in a clenched fist towards Dave as Dave did the exact same action. Their fists collided in the air completing the sacred bro code ritual; the Fist Bump. Both of the boys smiled but noticed Karkat had his fist raised out too. Dave and Keiji stared at each other for a second then at Karkat then back at each other then back at Karkat.

They were going to do it. One of the most powerful bro code techniques. The Triple Fist Bump. All 3 of their fists collided in mid air and you could almost swear that a single tear came down from the 3 of them. 

“Bros for life”  
“Bros for life”  
“BROS FOR LIFE”

Silence fell over the moment as the 3 took the opportunity to soak in the brosome. They then proceeded into the cafe while Jade and Sollux tried to hold back their laughter. Jade and Sollux made their way into the Cafe and towards the back where Sollux had some tables set up specifically for all of them. Once they all sat down Jade opened up the first discussion.

“Well everyone else will be here soon so would anyone like something to drink?”

Karkat was the first to reply, “BLACK COFFEE PLEASE.”

Then Dave, “Apple Juice”

Then Sollux,”Root beer”

And lastly, Keiji, “Get me Dew, all the dew.” Keiji's eyes twitched. Jade gave him a weirded smile, “alrighty then all the Dew coming up.”

After they had gotten their drinks they talked and talked for a while about all the randomest crap possible. Dave, Karkat and Sollux made a mental note about how much he was just like John but also parts of him weren't. For instance he seemed to love face palms claiming that a face palm was somebody losing against his stupidity. A feat he found awesome. Dave also found it awesome and tried his hardest to score a victory against Keiji. Keiji fought back but neither was victorious. The score stands.

Dave Face Palm count: 3

Keiji Face Palm count: 3

“One day Dave Strider, your palm will meet your forehead.”

“The same to Keiji Haku. They will tell fuckin amazing stories of our massive battles to the face palmage death.”

Little did they know that many years from now they would about how Dave the Witty and Keiji the Whimsical dueled in the great Palm of the Face Heavens above.....

After a couple hours the rest of the group arrived. They all sat in a kind of circle and once they were all seated they pointed their attention to Keiji who was flicking paper at Karkat who was getting annoyed at his antics. Annoyed in the usual Karkat/Bromance way. Jade managed to pull Keiji's attention away from his antics long enough to notice the crowd of people around him. 

Rose was the first to speak up,”Hello Keiji, I believe you are quite aware of who I am.”

Keiji stared at her really hard and then began to speak,”Before we go any further let's just get this all on the table.”

Rose watched and listened carefully believing that whatever he was going to say would most likely not make this transition smooth but it was expected by Rose. However what happened was not what she expected at all.

Keiji pulled his clenched fist up an through bits of napkin all over the table.

“Good now that we got that on the table we can proceed.” A victory had occurred. Kanaya, Vriska, Eridan, and Jade had admitted defeat.

Keiji Face Palm count: 7  
Dave slammed his fists on the table which caught most of them off guard and he spoke with a fake quivering voice, “Well played Keiji, well played.”

“Yes Dave, now you finally understand. I am a MASTER!!!”

“That maybe so bro but the war is not over yet!”

“HOLY JEGUS FUCK I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU TWO ARE GOING TO WAR OF THIS NONSENSICAL FUCKING WASTE.”

Dave shot Karkat a look that made Karkat shake for a second until Dave spoke, “Karkat please I must make battle plans.”

“All of th8m?” chimed in Vriska.

“yes all of them,” replied Dave.

“I would like to retreat back to the original conversation me and the grandiose Keiji were proceeding too,” exclaimed Rose. She seemed slightly annoyed but that was only because she was really excited to get acquainted with Keiji, heck even Kanaya was somewhat excited though she wouldn't show it.

Before they could get back on track a voice interrupted all of them.

“Diagnostic cycles are done. As far as I can tell there's nothing wrong other than you being you.” The voice was Seeth. Everyone around looked so confused, save Jade and somewhat Dave.

“Yeah yeah whatever, Seeth could you maybe bring yourself out now. You like talking about everything in the known Strataverse so you can just explain all the crap,” exclaimed Keiji.

“Fine I will.”

Jade pulled up a chair and white streaks of light and energy began to form on it. They converged to form a figure and then the lights disappeared into the figure. 

The woman that now sat in the chair was a little taller than Keiji. She had curly blonde hair and a small black cap that sat loosely on her head. Her eyes were a a dark red with a single black dot in each white of the her eyes in the exact same place in both eyes. She wore a thin black overcoat that sank to her feet and had a black undershirt with black pants and shoes. 

“Hello I am Seeth, I am a network being. I travel through electronic signals and other special wavelengths. I exist as a special infinite energy being. I am capable of compressing my energy in this form but most of the time I house myself in Keiji's Oracle Band,”she pointed at Keiji's Oracle band and continued,” the OB is a special mega computing device for Archons. Since Keiji is a Master Archon he received a personal version in his color of choice. I am a Master Archon Oracle. I paired myself with Keiji because we make a great team. Its my job to devise the plans in battle as well as maintain Keiji's health but that's more of a personal mission if anything.”

“See she loves to talk....” Keiji whispered to Dave. Seeth caught what he said but ignored it and turned her attention to Rose who was actually waiting to get a turn in.

“I am sorry Rose for cutting in like that, please forgive my behavior.” Seeth bowed her head a bit as part of her apology.

“Don't be, its quite fascinating actually to hear about you and Keiji. If you wouldn't mind actually could you and Keiji explain a bit more about the Dragonine culture in particular? Or maybe even the Network Beings' culture?” asked Rose politely with a bit of enthusiam hidden underneath it all.

“Sorry Rose I can't tell ya squat,” said Keiji.

“And why is that if I may be so inclined to ask?”

“Because he knows almost nothing about his culture,” said Seeth.

Kanaya finally jumped into the conversation, “How Did That Come To Be?”

“I became a Dragonine way away from everyone, kinda didn't have anyone to tell me any shit about it so I just went about my days. I think there's a book though, I probably won't read it though,” Keiji explained while slightly distracted by Dave and Karkat bickering. He chuckled for a sec then jumped into to taught Karkat because he was bored.

“That is pretty much the entire story behind that. I have read the entire book though and I know quite a bit about it. It explains there culture and physical attributes,”Seeth materialized a book and made note of how much everyone was not particularly stunned by that.”You can borrow it if you want Rose. I can get it back in a few days. I have a feeling you will be done by then.” She winked an eye and handed the book to Rose.

“Why thank you, I might not get to read it too much tonight but I will go through a bit then most likely finish it tomorrow night.” Rose put the book into her bag and tried to get Keiji's attention but at that point he and Dave were having another Palm battle this time attempting to drag Tavros and Sollux into it. Everyone also managed to make short conversation with Keiji before Jade decided it was time to show him around town just in case he needed a refresher. Even with John's memories he might forget a few things so just to be on the safe side she had decided on this.

“Seeth you coming?” asked Keiji looking back as he and Jade were leaving.

“In a minute, please go on without me and I will catch up.”

“Alrighty then.” Out the door Keiji and Jade went.

Once they were gone Seeth reached for everyone's attention.

“Excuse me but I need to personally talk to all you at once,” Seeth said. Everyone turned their attention to her and she spoke again, “Tomorrow I will be sending Keiji to greet and hangout with all of you so he can get acquainted with each and everyone of you. The day after though I am going to ask for your help. You can't answer now but the day after tomorrow you will be able too.” Seeth stood up and began to walk out. She turned to look back and added a few last words, “I really really need your help.”

Seeth turned back and walked out the door. Everyone had a confused look on their face and some of them even looked concerned. Vriska, Rose, Terezi and even Kanaya especially looked worried. They could tell there was a sorrow underneath Seeth's last words.

 

Eventually the day began to run into night. Everyone crept into their beds and Keiji lay awake once more in his.

Seeth's thoughts weighed heavy on her on this night just as it did yesterday night.

_I need to fix this._  



	8. Chapter 8

# Chapter 8: Meet and Greet Part 1 - Too many Glubbin questions.

It finally came around to the next day. Today unlike before Jade did not barge into Keiji's room. In fact Keiji was already downstairs helping make breakfast.

“Wow son you're really good at this!” proclaimed Mr. Egbert. He had the 'I'm a proud father' look. 

Jade made her way down to join them. Much like the morning before they sat around and chatter. On occasion Seeth would speak from the OB about some interesting Dragonine facts. Every time she did however Keiji made it a point to tune her out. It's not like he wasn't interested in his own people, he just didn't find any reason to learn.

After the morning spiel they headed out. Jade had to head into the deeper part of town to pick up some groceries and other miscellaneous supplies. She bid adieu to Keiji once they got past the first block. At this point Seeth came out in her usually light show to get her plans a goin'.

“Keiji I'm gonna scout the area for a bit around town. Can you interact with your friends for a while, you know take some time to get adjusted to them all? It'd probably help a lot,” asked Seeth with slight puppy dogs for extra reinforcement.

“Seriously? Ugh fine. Kind of a pain in the ass but, hey, maybe it won't be so bad,” Keiji paused to look around, he wasn't too sure where he was but he was managing, “I mean whats the worse that could happen besides having a complete and total social fuck up,” he added sarcastically. Seeth ignored it however and wandered off to the outskirts of town.

_Hmm maybe I should visit.....is that Feferi, Eridan, Sollux, and Aradia at the fountain? By god it is. Fuck yeah I'll kill 5 birds with one stone....fuck....wait 4...right?...yeah 4 birds. Yeeaaah._

Keiji slumped over to the fountain and decided he would try to sneak up on no less than Eridan. Why he thought. _Because fuck it why not._ Some of the most infamous last words ever.

He crept up slowly to Eridan and cupped his eyes from behind.

“Wwhat the glub is going on!?!?!?” Eridan cried.

“Guess who fucker.” Keiji snickered a bit. He pitched his words in a much lower than normal voice as to throw Eridan off. Not that he wasn't gonna fuck with him even if he got it right.

“I don't fuckin knoww,” sneered Eridan.

“Wrong bitch its Santa.” Keiji was snickering so hard at this point, trying to keep it from evolving into a laugh. Sollux, Aradia, and Feferi were surprised to see Keiji but honestly they were trying to hold back their chuckles. They always found people fucking with Eridan to be funny.

“Wwho the fuck is Santa?” screeched Eridan. He was really agitated which just made it so much worse for Keiji trying to hold back his laughs

Keiji pulled his hands away from Eridan's eyes and walked in front of him. “Not me.”

Keiji sat down by the fountain and took in the nice breeze blowing through. The moment was ended as Aradia decided to sit down next to him and stare at him with an unreadable smile. Sollux down on Keiji's other side. Eridan sat down next to Sollux, much to Sollux' dismay. And, last but not least, Feferi sat on the ground in front of Keiji. Keiji could tell she was prepped to play 20 questions. He began to wonder in horror at the rate of fire of the questions and tried thinking up as many harmless and witty retorts as possible. She was only curious but he couldn't be too careful.

“Soooooo Feffy,” Keiji smoothly said. Ok not really that smooth but he tried to make it seem that way.

“Yessss Kei?” Feferi had the hugest smile on her face. Her face had eagerness written all over it.

“You didn't like make up 1000 questions for me did you?” Keiji noticed a certain sparkle in Feferi's eyes.

“No of course not, its only 45 glubbin questions )-(a )-(a.” She chuckled a bit but not because of the fact that she realized that that was a lot of questions. No. She chuckled because she was thinking of fish puns. Fucking fish puns.

“Oh crap can I answer like 1 and then move on?”

“No Kei sorry answer em alllllllllllllllll!!!!!!” Feferi was too excited for Keiji to turn her down.

Keiji spent the next hour answering Every. Fuckin. Question. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Too many fuckin questions._ Afterwards he talked with Sollux about some of the games he played in the Archon Hub and how he actually knew quite a bit of hacking and programming but also mentioned that no one was better than Seeth and Alpha working together. Keiji's exact words were 'Dear god it's like watching art in motion.' Sollux bet he could do better until he got shaken a bit by hearing some of the things Alpha did in extremely vivid detail. Sollux to a degree respected Alpha now even if he hadn't met him. 

Once he got through the barrage of questions from Aradia and the badgering by Eridan, which he mostly ignored, he bid adieu to them and wandered off to his next targets which he had already tracked down via his OB: Terezi Pyrope and Vriska Serket.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9, Dear gog this was a long one.

#  Chapter 9: Meet and Greet Part 2: Scourge Sisters. 

Terezi and Vriska continued to be moirails although some times you would almost swear they were hateflirting but it wasn't true. It was just how it was with them. Terezi had been playing with her scalemates anticipating Keiji's arrival. Her head ran through a myriad of thoughts centering around the interesting concept of him being a dragon, his scales, and, most importantly, what he tasted and smelled like. She had heard something yesterday from a conversation between Jade and Keiji that his blood was black with a slight blue tint. 

Vriska was on her computer bugging the crap out of Jade, even though Jade wasn't actually on. She was trying to pry more information about Keiji since her knowledge was limited to what Jade had told her at the cafe and the bits and pieces she could gather from the conversations she had with him. The conversations didn't get too far into anything though. He seemed to be pushing back all the deeper parts of the conversation for some reason, a reason she intended to find out. It should be mentioned that she still had a crush on him, well John. But he seemed like John as well as Keiji. She wasn't sure about it right now.

 

 

Keiji made his way downtown to the apartment that contained Terezi and Vriska. He made his way in up to their room and stood at the door waiting for an idea of a greeting to pop into his head. However before he could even think of one the door opened. In the doorway was Terezi who had already smelled his interesting and unusual scent from her room. 

“H3110 d0rk,” Terezi cackled a bit. She was trying to rile him up, mostly so that the conversations would be smoother. But Keiji wasn't even paying attention. He was staring at her. She tried to pull him back to reality.

“34rth t0 d0rk, or Alt34rth h3h3h3h3......um h3110?” She tried but he seemed intent to on staring at her. _What the fuck is he staring at? Wait......_

“4r3 y0u st4r1ng 4t my 3y3s?” Terezi had her glasses off and figured Keiji must be a bit taken back by something that most of him wasn't familiar with even if part of him was John the dork. She decided to try to be lax but what Keiji replied with in his daze caught her completely off guard. 

“Huh you're eyes are really pretty......OH wait I mean watsup Terezi,” Keiji jumped back a bit after realizing what he said. He struggled to recover himself as his cheeks changed colors since he was blushing. The blushing only further caught Terezi off guard. However for his blushing she made a wide smile revealing her sharp teeth.

“0h my g0g Kei, are you blushing blue lights,” she chuckled a bit after she spoke. Chuckled. Keiji was having a hard time with his blushing but a Terezi chuckle was only making things worse. Before he could reply her tongue was already on his cheek.

“Holy crap Tereziii!!!” He tried to push her off but suddenly felt incredibly declined too.

“1n3r3st1ng, y0u t4st3 l1k3 c0tt0n c4ndy,” Terezi exclaimed. She quite enjoyed the taste but pulled herself back, reminding herself that he might not have adjusted to her quite yet. Surprisingly though he looked calm and for some reason she could feel a slight sorrow. It quickly dispersed and Keiji stood upright once more. She moved out of the way to let him in to the apartment. He made his way over to their couch and sat in the middle. 

Vriska was just finishing up her bugging of Jade and headed into the living room to find Keiji and Terezi sitting down on the couch. She made it a point to make her entrance as grandiose as possible. Gotta impress the cute boy as much as possible.

“Why h8lloooooooo Kei, wh8t 8rings y8u to our hum8le a8ode?” She asked as she flung her arms outward gesturing the entirety of their apartment. 

“Well you guys have this couch thats just fuckin amazing. It literally is the most comfy thing I have sat on in a while. Seriously, you ever sat in a wooden chair in voided space. Its horrid. It splinters and shit. Ugh.” Keiji eventually melted into the couch, metaphorically. He seemed content to stay there for a bit. Well he was until Vriska sat on the other side of him. He knew what was coming. Dear the god the dreaded questions again. Probably like 8000 of them.

“You pro8a8ly think I am gonna ask a crap load of questions right???????? Well don't worry I will only ask a few. I can imagine that this is still difficult to adjust too,” Vriska said with a slight smirk on her face. She actually had many, many questions but this probably wasn't the best time to ask them.

After a brief moment of silence Terezi spoke, “0k sh0w m3 y0ur sc41es.”

“They're called scale plates actually. And sure I guess.” Keiji lifted up the sleeve on his right arm to reveal what looked like a thin plate covering 3/4s around of his forearm. It was a dull black but it had a sort of light blue shimmer to it. Keiji moved his arm around for a bit and Terezi moved her fingers over the surface of it as he turned. Vriska did the same. It was smooth and had a gentle but sturdy feel to it.

“Some of our plates can be receeded back in to our bodies so they don't get damaged when we're younger.” Keiji pointed at his cheeks where 2 small black strips grew on each side and then receeded back into his cheeks.

“Whoa,” said Vriska who was slightly in awe over the young Dragonine's scale plates. Terezi was giddy and overjoyed herself. Dragon scales and a dragon right in front of her, she was as happy as could be.

“I think we have some cola in the fridge, or did you want more dew?” asked Vriska. She added the fact that she could easily walk to the store a block away to get him some and also mentioned that she kinda wanted to grab a snack from there anyways. Keiji agreed, ableit somewhat reluctantly. He was going to be alone with Terezi and he already made a fool of himself once. Chances were he'd do it again. Fuckin guaranteed or your money back! Not really.

Vriska bolted out the door so she could get back as soon as possible. Keiji tried to relax and not look in Terezi's direction but she was rustling next to him, possibly to get his attention.

He finally decided to turn in her direction. She was waving her cane in front of his face. He didn't push it away or anything. 

“Terezi hi,”

“H1? R3411y 1s th4t 411 y0u c4n s4y?”

“What would you say sitting next to an incredibly intense pretty girl?”

“W4h? Y0u d0n't n33d t0 f14tt3r m3 t0 h4v3 4 c0nv3rs4t10n w1th m3 d0rkji.” Terezi cackled loudly at the last part of her statement but it fadedly quickly when she saw a smirk of joy spread across Keiji's face and he began to laugh uncrontollably.

“Dang Terezi, calling me names to make me feel at home. And I wasn't even joking either.”

Terezi hung on his last words. _Not joking? What was he not joking about? The pretty girl comment? Wait does he really believe I am pretty????? What the hell!!! That's odd..._ Terezi's cheeks made a slight teal blush. She was getting worked up over the dork's compliment and she didn't know why so she tried to change the topic.

“Y0u'r3 sc4l3s 4re 1nt3r3st1ng, buuuuuuuut th3y w0u1d h4v3 b33n s0 much b3tt3r r3d, 41th0ugh 1 h4v3 t0 4dm1t th4t th3 sw33t t4st3 0f y0ur sc4l3s 1s pr3tty g00d 4s w311.” She spoke with a certain enthusiasm as if trying to stir some kind of conversation from him. Memories from way before and her eyes. Her dull red eyes recalled buried memories. Her brain put together a few pieces from what she knew. He was a Dragon(ine) and he had scales. It reminded her of her lusus. 

Keiji's attention was drawn to Terezi's face. She had gone from a cute blush to a sort of sorrowful look. Keiji was no master detective but he had the knowledge and the memories and could make an accurate deduction at what was wrong.

“I remind you....of your lusus don't I?” Terezi merely nodded and Keiji sighed. He knew it must have been hard. The only thing Terezi had to remind her of the lusus was her ability to taste and smell everything. She had missed her lusus and had actually managed to forget all about it until Keiji came along. Keiji stared for a good few minutes before deciding that he wasn't going to watch a pretty girl cry because of him.

“Say Terezi do you want to talk to your lusus? Itd be only for a few minutes but maybe you could get your closure.” Keiji waved his hands in front of her but she had this look on her face of disbelief and annoyance. 

“wh4t 4r3 y0u t4lk1ng 4b0ut y0u d0rk?!” She seemed to be getting quite angry and her face started to twist into further annoyance but her face dropped into confusion when Keiji put his finger to her forehead and it started to glow.

Around them scenes began to twist and turn. Shapes and colors appeared and vanished. Everything was clear and hazy at the same time and as soon as it started it all stopped.

They weren't in the apartment anymore. They were in a forest with many shades of green and blue. A small light poured in from the roof of trees.

Terezi was stunned and confused. She couldn't completely process what just happened and what was going on. She eventually fixated her gaze on Keiji and started outright with the questioning.

“Wh3r3 th3 h311 4r3 w3???????!!!!!! Is this 4n i11usi0n K3I?!?!?!?!?” Terezi started freaking out but became calm once more once Keiji started rubbing her shoulder.

“No Terezi this is all real. It's kind of like a super afterlife. We can't stay here for too long but I figured you might want to talk with him,” Keiji pointed behind Terezi.

Behind her was a giant white creature with wings, scales, a tail and big red and orange eyes. It was her lusus. Hatched and fully grown. No more doomscale preventing it from living fully even though it was dead considering where it was now.

Terezi was awestruck and almost in tears. She looked back at Keiji who gave her a playful shoo over to her lusus. Terezi walked slowly a few feet but then leapt into a dash culminating in a giant hug on her lusus which in turn, in someway or another, attempted to hug her back.

Keiji stayed back and watched, content with the situation. After a brief amount of time had passed Terezi returned. She seemed happier but also a bit sad. Keiji tapped his foot on the ground and in another swirl of colors and lights they were back on the couch. Only 5 minutes had passed. 

The room was silent for a while. Keiji didn't have much to say and figured being quiet was best. Terezi, however, had something she needed to say.

“Th4nk y0u....” She began to tear up and put her face into Keiji's shoulder. He decided to leave her as she was for a bit.

Once the tears dried up Terezi lifted her head and got up off the couch. She made her way to her room. A couple minutes passed and she came back with a black scale mate that had a whole in it.

“1 g0t th1s 0n3 4whi13 4g0.....G4mz t0r3 4 h013 in it th0ugh...” She stared at the scalemate for a while before turning to notice Keiji holding a knife and fiddling with one of his scale plates. He had the knife pressed down on a corner and he seemed to just be poking it. Before she could tell what he was trying to do he quickly raised the blade and drew it downward extremely fast breaking off a corner piece of his scale plate on his right arm. He cringed a bit and Terezi freaked out.

“h01y shit 4r3 y0u 0k4y?!?!?!?”

“I'm fine” Keiji muttered a bit in pain still. He then turned away from Terezi and using his impressive strength he molded and smoothed over the broken piece till it looked like a dragon scale found in legends and video games. It was small but just right for his purposes. He turned back over to Terezi.

“Let me see that scalemate for a sec.”

Terezi handed the scalemate over with a really puzzling look on her face. Keiji just smiled and began to work his magic.

With quick handiwork and a use of his powers he attached the black scale piece to the scalemate.

“TADA, all better,” Keiji exclaimed as he handed back the plush animal. Terezi's jaw dropped when she noticed the scale piece on it. Tears were starting to well up but she buried her face in the scalemate before he could see. She was happy, really happy. She also felt a strange sensafftion when she looked at Keiji now. She couldn't quite identify it. 

Terezi put the thought to the back of her mind when Vriska came back in to the apartment. She had several bags of what Keiji presumed to be food and drinks. Vriska walked up to Keiji and plopped a bottle of Mountain Dew into his lap. She herself then plopped down next to him. She panned the room and stopped on Terezi smiling with glee. She wondered why Terezi was so happy. She would ask later though.

“I'm guessing you two had a great time hahaha,” said Vriska while she chucked candy into her mouth. She gained a puzzled look when she looked at Keiji's arm and the scale plate on it.

“Did you hurt yourself????????” she asked with a slightly concerned look on her face.

“Nah its just a scratch haha, I mean it'll just grow back anyways.” Keji chuckled a bit and downed some Dew. He laid back content with the current situation. He was always content with Dew. Before he could gulp anymore he was off the couch via Vriska pulling his arm. She was directing, well more like pulling, him to her room.

“I wanna show you something awesome!!!!!!!!” She pulled him along and stopped for a second to glance at Terezi. Terezi seemed to be lost in thought, albeit happy for some reason. Vriska went back to her venture to her room with Keiji. She dragged him in and threw him on the bed. Her room was small and had the essentials; bed, computer, tv, closet. Etc. Not really all essential but whatever. It was also messy, littered with broken 8-balls, a habit Vriska apparently never broke out of. She more or less broke them now because she found it fun and addicting. 

Vriska eventually sat down next to Keiji with a dvd in her hands. “Look its Con Air. You remem8er it right, even though while on the ship you got over it. Oh I have National Treasure too. Not sure if you still like Nic C8ge still.....” She paused, a bit distressed. She had a crush on John and she could still see part of him in Keiji, the parts she had a crush on. She went to change the topic but Keiji spoke up before she could.

“Yeah still not too fond of Con Air but I still like Nic cage. Definitely love National Treasure, all of them actually. Oh but I also like Chris Pratt, “ Keiji said with enthusiasm.

“Uh who????????” Vriska seemed confused. She had never heard of Chriss Pratt.

“Oh boy I got plans for later now haha, “ Keiji laughed enthusiastically. Oh man did he have a lot to share with everyone. But it didn't matter. Not now. He had reasons in the end. He changed the topic of discussion by picking up an unbroken 8 ball and showing it to Vriska.

“Hey looks like you missed one. Hehehe...” He smirked and chuckled. He was trying to tease her. She blushed a cerulean blush across her entire face. She quickly grabbed the 8-ball from him and got up. Vriska walked over to the other side of the room clutching the 8-ball and still blushing.

“N-n-noooooooo. Keiji. Kei. I don't know what you're talking about........” She quickly chucked the ball at the wall as hard as she good. In a second it shattered from against the wall from the strength of her throw, but time slowed and Keiji noticed bits of the ball were heading for her 8-pupiled eye. He quickly froze time and instead of grabbing the millions of pieces he put his left arm in front of her face. Time caught back up and the pieces hit his broken scale plate. A few pieces of the 8 ball managed to hit just ever so perfectly in the broken cracks from the corner of his plate cracking the rest of the plate and eventually shattering it all together.

Vriska was stunned beyond imagination. She tried to register what just happened.

_I threw the ball. It shattered. Kei's arm was in front of my face. And now the Scale plate thingy on it is shattered and all over the floor.....What the hell....._

Keiji lowered his arm and Vriska caught a glimpse of a shimmering light blue liquid coming off his arm from where the plate was. Vriska hesitated for a second and then ran to grab a towel and bandages. She wrapped up his arm and didn't bother asking about the liquid. It wasn't the time. He just got hurt. That wasn't what frightened Vriska the most though. What frightened her the most though was his unphased facial expression. It was almost saddening but she didn't want to pry. She finished wrapping his arm and Keiji seemed ok afterwards. He grabbed his Mountain Dew and sat back on the couch. At this present time Terezi had already caught wind of what had happened and had helped Vriska find the medkit. Both of them followed Keiji back into the living room and looked on at him with worry. How could be not freak out or even shed a tear. It looked painful as hell when the scale plate shattered even if he only held the cringing face for a second when it happened.

They didn't pry into it, figuring one day they might find out but with everything that happened this may have not been the best time. They spent the next half hour leisurely talking about some of Keiji's mundane adventures which turned out not to be mundane at all.

After a bit Keiji bid goodbye to the two and headed off back into town to visit two of his favorite bros: Karkat and Dave.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So its dave and karkat. Also some explanation to the Archons and Strataverse.
> 
>  
> 
> Please enjoy!

#  Chapter 10: Meet and Greet Part 3 

Keiji waltzed around town until he arrived at the Cafe where Karkat and Dave were. He knocked on the door to the Cafe for no apparent reason. Dave actually got up and opened the door for him whilst delivering a smartass remark.

“Ladies first,” Dave remarked. Keiji smirked and wanted to slap him but decided to bide his time to get him back. Dave went to the back of the Cafe where Karkat was. Dave sat on Karkat's right and Keiji sat down on Karkat's left. The goal was a barrage of doucheness from both sides.

Dave was the first to speak but definitely not the last, “So Keiji how's life weak-awesome punching dudes in the face for money?”

“Its fuckin grand like a thousand balls being dropped into a pool that makes the greatest fucking splash in existence.”

“Who doesn't like an amazing fucking splash. Like a 400-ton truck driving through and ocean splashing fuck tons of water on suspecting beach goers. Its like one ironic shit storm. Everyone's fuckin giddy about it now!” Dave replied.

Karkat finally jumped in,”WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WHAT IRONIC SHITSTORM?? HOLY CRAP YOU TWO ARE FUCKING INSUFFERABLE. LISTEN HERE JOHN HUMAN, I AM GOING TO STICK MY FIST OUT AND YOU'RE GOING TO BUMP IT WITH YOURS YOU FUCKING GOT THAT??......WAIT FUCK I MEAN---”

“Whoa chill Karkat, don't go on all postal on me just because you can't handle this level of badassness. I literally eat, sleep and drink awesomeness. Comes in a variety of flavors,” Keiji said.

“WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?? NO! Just shut the hell up for a second. I mean Keiji.. um...Dragonine?” Karkat receeded to a lesser volume. He had a genuine look of worry on his face like he just stepped on a landmine. Keiji could easily tell why.

“Dude Karkat just relax, its different so its ok if you aren't use to it yet. And yes I am called a Dragonine,” Keiji said with a slight smile.

Karkat's face looked lost in thought. He seemed to want to ask Keiji something but was unsure of how to approach the subject. He really didn't want to dredge up shit that might upset Keiji.

“got something on your mind Karkitten?” asked Dave while poking Karkat's cheek. Karkat lazily swatted Dave's finger away and opened his mouth to speak. He closed it then opened it again. He closed it once more and then finally gave in.

“You became a Dragonine, right? Did it hurt?....” Karkat asked with reserve. He was trying his hardest to not be his usual impolite self. Keiji stared at him hard, and Karkat began to fill a pain in his chest. He may have just asked something horrible. He decided it was best to apologize, even if it was his assholish self. Karkat went to open his mouth but before he could say anything Keiji spoke up.

“Oh fuck yeah hurt, holy crap its like being boiled on the inside but I mean we breath fire so it makes sense plus that's a lot of energy being decompressed and recompressed multiple times in the body. Kind of a bitch but what can you do? You get to be a fucking awesome badass so thats afterwards though so its worth it!!!”

“I'll fucking bet,” said Dave, “You punched a guy across the street like it was nothing”

“I told you that was a weak punch though dude,” remarked Keiji who pinched Dave's face. Dave swatted his fingers away and then proceeded to pinch Keiji's cheeks.

“You're going down Kei!” Dave pinched harder and Keiji began pinching back. The pinch war was on.”

I'll show you the might of the great Dragonine and our ability to pinch the shit outta anything....and we collect face palms like badasses!!!!” Keijji went into a mock kung fu stance just as Dave did.

“You have met your match Keiji Haku. Like a mighty fat guy meets his match against a fucking burger the size of Texas, except the burger turned out to be vegetarian cause fucking epic irony for the mother fucking win.!!!!”

“Well Dave, have you ever seen a giant purple fucking ELEPHANT!!!”

“NO I have not Kei!!!”

“Good lets do this shit!!!!” Keijji swiveled in place and went into another mock kung fu stance just as Dave did the same.

“OH FUCK NO YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME IN THE DUST YOU BULGEBEATING PIECES OF SHIT, I AM THROWING THE FUCK DOWN!!! YOUR FACES WILL MEET YOUR FUCKING PALMS IN HOLY FUCKING HUMAN MATRIMONY!!!! BRING IT YOU BITCHES!!!!” Karkat declared while getting into a mock Kung fu stance. 

The battle was on and it lasted for about 45 minutes before Karkat alone surrendered after realizing that all along they were teamed up against him.

Face Palm count Keiji: 11

Face Palm count Dave: 7

After some fun with the puns, the conversation was turned towards Keiji's occupation by Karkat.

“Kei, what the fuck is an Archon???” asked Karkat in the least subtle way possible. Keiji smirked a bit, he rather enjoyed talking about this subject.

“They're kind of like adventurers that also keep the peace,” Keiji started with, “there are many different Archon classes, however there is only 28 Master Archons. There can only be 1 Master per class. You have undertake these massive trials and everything. There are ranks as well, from G to S. Pretty standard except each class has levels. All ranks except S and Master have a 100 levels each. S has 20 levels and Master has none since its considered the ultimate form of a given class. 'Leveling up' doesn't grant you better gear or abilities. Actually your abilities influence your level. You can take on better missions with higher payouts with higher level and rank. However S and Master have to undertake certain Peacekeeping missions. For instance as the Master Archon Hunter I am sometimes called upon to capture high priority targets. People that generally are way too bad to be left alone.”

Keiji paused because he could tell dave had a question.

“Holy crap that sounds awesome but you get paid for that shit??? Shit bro how much?” Dave asked with extreme enthusiasm. _Kei bro gets paid to be a badass, thats fuckin sick._ thought Dave to himself recounting how Keiji supposedly 'Weak punched' a guy across the street.

“Well Dave the exchange rate from here would probably 10 Creds is about 1 dollar and 28 cents soooooo......My missions usually payout about 300,000 Creds or roughly 30k dollars-” Keiji was cut short by Karkat.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO TO GET PAID THAT FUCKING MUCH!?!?!?!?!”

“Exploration, captures, sabotages, setting up bases, dangerous ventures and the occasional all around ass-kicking,” Keiji said with a slightly proud look on his face.

Dave and Karkat's jaws hung for a good amount of time before Dave spoke.

“Holy fuck dude, sign my ass up. I'll be like the pluto to your fucking mickey. We will ride off to battle in the most ironic fuckin way possible.”

“Actually I could get you both recommended and you can work from anywhere since the Archon Gate can literally take you anywhere in the Strataverse and back in time flat.”

Karkat gave a puzzled look and then went into his next question, “Strataverse what the fuck is that?”

“So you know how Jade mentioned Multiverses?”

Dave and Karkat nodded waiting patiently, if at all possible.

“Okay so there is a lot of them but there's a place called the Omniverse. Its literally one universe that can't be copied and can't exist in any multiverse. Its purpose is basically uniqueness and as a main location for the Archons. The Strataverse encompasses the Omniverse, all multiverses, Otherverse and the Negaverse. The last two I won't be talking about. Stories for another time.” Keiji watched as Dave and Karkat lowered their heads a bit but watched as they quickly perked back up some how.

 

Keiji declared it was time for him to head back out and visit others. The others being Roxy, Jake, Dirk and Jane. Jane of which was eerily excited and maybe Roxy. 

Keiji waved goodbye to Dave and Karkat. He looked back as he walked out to notice Karkat and Dave happily smiling as a sorrowful smile spread across his own face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit late but hey this chapter wasn't too fun to write. It was necessary though. 
> 
> A little more foreshadow and a lot of Keiji bein awesome. YEEHAW!

# Chapter 11

Keiji made his way to the Galaxy Arcade. He stopped outside to glaze over the name of the arcade. 

_Galaxy huh? Interesting..._

Keiji at a snail's pace made his way into the arcade where he was immediately greeted by a hug from both Jane and Roxy.

“Kei, Keiiii, KEEEIIIIIII,” Roxy blurted, “you gotta see dis shit, Jake and Dirk are about to do the hunting game and Jake says he's gonna cream Dirk...hehe cream.”

Jane quickly spoke up as if in a hurry, "I'm so sorry Kei I have to go take care of some stuff, I will stop by the house tonight. " Jane gave him one more hug and Keiji waved goodbye to her as she bolted out the arcade.

Keiji made it a point to pretend like he didn't hear that last remark from Roxy. He attempted to sidestep Roxy's shoving towards the two young men but ended up failing due to how fast she was pushing. Upon arriving at the scene he witnessed Dirk kneeling on the ground and Jake in what looked like a superman pose. 

“Well Dirk, I believe it was a good match. You actually scared the dickens out of me with your last scurry forward. Thanks chap for the game,” Jake said supporting a proud look on his face. Jake turned to look at Keiji and a giant smile grew across his face. He reached out and grabbed Keiji's arm and pulled him forward.

“Hey chap, care for a try at the ol'shootout?” asked Jake with an expectant look on his face. He wanted to take on Keiji head-to-head. In a shooting game.

Keiji stared at him for a second before a smirk sparked on is face. 

“Sure Jake,” replied Keiji. He took up his place next to Jake in front of the arcade machine. The game was called Alien Onslaught. The goal was to get the most alien kills. Keiji thought it was kinda ironic how ridiculous the aliens looked. He had seen quite a few races, they were no where near as ridiculous as the game made them out to be. 

Jake popped in a few coins and the game was afoot. About 30 minutes in Roxy, Jake, and Dirk realized something amazing, Keiji wasn't missing any shots. His reactions time and aim was impeccable. By the end of the game Keiji had 252 kills and Jake had 8. Jake surmised the 8 however seemed to only happen because Keiji was distracted by the smell of food running throughout the arcade. Jake put his gun back and watched as Keiji did the same. Jake decided to inquire about Keiji's profound victory.

“Blimey! That was amazing, how did you do that?” asked Jake with incredible enthusiasm.

“Military training, lots of it. Plus I have a shit load of battle experience. Lots of fights and wars. Not all mine really but hey you jump into different multiverses and shit and you kinda get wrapped up in crap. I remember one time I jumped in and they were having a 'Holy crusade war' with 'magic' swords. I got in and they all freaked. Several attacked me and I may or may not have broke their swords. By poking them. They looked shiny. I have a problem....” Keiji ducked under Roxy's incoming question barrage only to be stopped by Dirk's seemingly all powerful question.

“You jum through multiverses and when you entered ours you also had a few copies created to support you're entry but you're the only you. Sooo my question is how is there not like a million of you fuckin running around blowing shit up?” Dirk took a swig of is soda he had stashed off to the side. He waited patiently for Keiji to answer expecting something fantastical. Little did he know he was gonna get waaaaay more.

“Aw fuck, this question. Okay so I get the feeling Seeth and you have been chatting so she gave you the whole Strataverse rundown,” Dirk nodded, Keiji continued, “ok well I was born in a trisection of three super spaces. The Nexus of Time, which granted me fuckin amazing time powers; the was-current edge of the Omniverse; and last but not least, an ancient city, which I am not actually allowed to talk about.”

“Why not,” questioned Dirk. All of them had turned to face him with expectance.

“That's actually classified information governed by the Archons. Only S1 Ranks and above know about it. This includes the chief herself,” Keiji explains. He had hoped that the explanation he gave them was satisfactory. However, like creating the spark of a freakin forest fire, the questions started rolling in like a wildfire.

Dirk started and Keiji tried to answer as quick as possible,”Who's this chief?”

“She's like my boss....and like a mother.”

Dirk continued,”Do you have another mom in another Universe?”

“Yes, she's the current head of our House.”

Jake jumped in,”House is like a clan right?”

“Yes, mine is the House Haku?”

Roxy hopped on the question train,”Does your House get special powers?”

“....Why was that your question, like really.....Fine we are immune to almost all diseases new and old. Includes future ones as well. And poisons. We have ultra immune systems.”

Roxy readied her next question, “What are you not immune too?

“......”

Roxy leaned forward a bit, “Answer the friggin question.”

“......”

Roxy stretched her hands out to Keiji, “If you don't answer I'm gonna tickle you're ass to death!”

“Fuck...Fine....The common cold.”

Roxy looked deadpan for a second before a grin and laugh came across her face. The laugh started small but grew exponentially.

Roxy tried to speak through her laughter, “ARE YOU HAHAHAHA FREAKIN HAHAHAHA SER IOUS!?!?!?!?!?”

Dirk butted in on her laughter, “Dude that's like having a watch that does everything but tell time.”

Jake pondered a quick thought. _Did Dirk just quote Spy Kids 2?_ Yes. Yes he did.

 

Keiji stared at them expressionless for the entire laughing fit they were all going into. He turned and began to walk towards the food court. 

“Nope,” and he was gone to the line.

He waited in line for a good few minutes before he was bumped from behind by none other than Roxy.

“Where you think yo goin?” Roxy inquired. She reached over to pinch his cheeks but ended up having fingers slide across something hard.

Keiji turned and there was a small black plate over his cheek. He was smirking gleefully. 

Roxy punched him in the arm before remarking, “Are you shittin me, you got a scale plate that retracts ON YOUR CHEEK???!!!........thats fuckin awesome btw.”

“I have quite a few actually that retract,” Keiji snickered a bit, “The main 4 that don't are these ones on my arm,” he points to his only remaining arm plate, “and the two on shins of my legs.”

 

“Whoa was there suppose to be one on yo other arm?” Roxy points to his right arm as Keiji holds up the bandage. She stops in her tracks, “Oh......what, um, happened.”

“Its nothing just a cruddy accident, itll heal,” Keiji assured. Roxy nodded in acceptance and they moved up the line to the cashier.

 

They ordered a plethora of food after Keiji explained he needed to eat a lot. The 5 of them all sat down and chatted for an hour about various things. After the hour passed Keiji figured it was time to conclude this meet-and-greet. He shook hands and hugged them, and then made his way out the arcade.

 

After Keiji left Jake turned to look at a disheartened Roxy. He tried to pry into was wrong.

“Roxy dear is everything ok?”

Roxy sighed and ansswered, “Not really.”

Jake tried to take a stab at what was concerning her.

“I know you had a crush on John and that he doesn't look like him but John was a part of him. It might just take some time to get use-”

Roxy cut him off and turned to stare at him. She was blushing pretty vividly.

“OK first off douche, how do you even know that,” Jake kind of doubled back at that but roxy continued, “and second that's not whats wrong...”

Jake rubbed the back of his head and sighed. He decided to inquire as to what the problem was.

“Well deary what is the problem then.”

“......”

“Roxy you can talk to me, I am one of your best chaps.”

“He lied....”

“Keiji lied? About what?”

“It wasn't nothing....”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this one was long. And I am tired lol

# Chapter 12: Flora and....Bones???

Keiji makes his way to the clothing shop where Kanaya and Rose worked at. Upon confronting their shop he noticed there was no sign (yet). He figured that they were just getting the shop going and recalling the memories from John he had come to find he was right. He made sure to take notice of the art deco styled door. He smiled a bit and then proceeded inside.

 

He finds Kanaya behind the counter next to the door fiddling with a plant. She looked up from her wilting plant to Keiji.

 

“Oh Sorry, Keiji I Didn't Notice You There, I Was......Tending To This Wilting Flora,” Kanaya exclaimed rather sadly but she perked back up as if trying to force a pleasant atmosphere. Keiji was not dissuaded however. He would wait a bit to address that particular issue.

 

After a few thoughts and Kanaya chuckling awkwardly they both heard a sound from the backroom of the small shop. Rose came out carrying a box of yarn, setting it down on the table near the door to the backroom. After Rose caught a quick breath she turned to look at Keiji. He went to say 'Hi' but before he could he was being encased in a pair of slender arms via a rather excited Rose.

 

She pulled back to see Keiji with his cheeks glowing a light blue. She chuckled a bit and smirked, “I read in the book Seeth so kindly gave me that your kind sometimes have luminescent blood. It is more aptly called 'Light Blood'. I also am aware that you are a dual blood, are you not,” Keiji nodded with a slight annoyance, this was not what he wanted to chat about as a meet and greet. He really just wanted to relax maybe swap stories. Well it would mostly be them bartering him for tales of his adventures throughout the Strataverse.

 

Rose continued on from where she left off all the while noting is annoyance at the topic, “I believe you have so much for me to learn and stories to regale us with. I will save the talk off your rather unique physicality and attributes for another time. For now why don't you sit down and tell us about some of your travels.”

 

“Are ya gonna try to psycho-analyze me?” asked Keiji somewhat expectantly.

 

“If I may be so bold. I do hold a rather special interest in your state of mind at the current moment,” Rose explained, her voice dripping with a tad bit of slyness.

 

“Kanaya dear, would you allow yourself to join us? I daresay you were quite interested in the prospect of learning more about him when we talking about it last night.”

 

“I Will Allow The Time For It Rose Dear,” Kanaya made way over to the couch but not without getting a peck on the cheek from Rose and blushing a certain Jade color.

Once they sat down, Rose and Kanaya together and Keiji next to Rose, Rose beckoned him with her hand asking without words for him to regale them of his travels.

 

Keiji thought long on the subject and which story to choose from. He preferred something small at the moment so as not to take up too much of their time. 

 

He browsed his minds database for a minute more before coming up with the perfect story. 

 

He would tell them the story of how he acquired his Archon's Scarf. It was a symbol for those that had waged battle on oppression of the Planet of Ti-ku'sah.

 

“Interesting, you're story will revolve around a cloth that commemorates a rather special victory for the Archon's. You must hold your victories high in regard,” analyzed Rose. She figured with that small analysis that she would be on the right track for messing with him for a while except what Keiji said didn't match what she seemed to be thinking. Something inconceivable in the current situation.

 

“Nope. And I shall explain whyyyyyyyyy......now. So on the planet Ti-ku the people, the Torvan, were being subjugated by another race, the Alovan. They would round them up and make the work in mines and farms. I was never aware of this, in fact I was actually heading there to check out some ruins. Some of my job is to collect various artifacts and catalog them for the museums around Archon Space. When I got to the planet I was immediately accosted by, imagine a humanoid being with black eyes and dark red skin, giant Alovan guards. They were like 9 feet tall. I thought to myself 'fuck it' and let them take me to their leader. I forgot to say that line too. Woulda been perfect,” Keiji stopped for a moment when he heard, of all people, Kanaya chuckle. He gave her a small stare down till she stopped but there was a small smirk still there. 

He pedaled forward with his story, “Well they brought me to their leader, some fit and brawny looking Alovan. He had a dagger. My thoughts were 'oh my fucking god is he seriously just using a dagger because he thinks he's the badass villain, that's fucking cliché.' For the record, I hate cliches. Most of them anyways. Anyways he rambled on about something and-I'll be honest I wasn't really paying attention. He was just so cliché and annoying that I pretty much blocked out everything. They binded me up in cuffs and when I came to I heard him tell the guards to take me to the Pit and I don't know why, but my mind went to pie so I broke out of the cuffs with ease walked over to the head honcho and well punched him in outer space. Literally. He was like halfway to one of their 5 suns. Because it's a fucking planet that's not Earth, of course it has more than one fucking sun. Ugh.”

 

Now it was Rose's turn to chuckle and chuckle she did. She even found it fit to add in a pyscho-analytical comment.

 

“You really do despise clichés don't you?” She asked through all her chuckling.

 

“Not just with a passion, with fucking vigor!”

 

“How menacing.”

 

“Please. Rose. Menacing is an understatement. My personal distaste for the remarkably unoriginal goes beyond mere conventions of hatred extending beyond the theoretical limits of said disdain. You could say it approaches the number of molecules in this universe," explained, of all people, Keiji.

Rose blinked a few times and then looked at Kanaya who seemed just as in awe at how articulate he was. It was Rose level. At that moment excitement was brimming in both of the girls. Yes they knew he was John but now he was so much more and they could tell that the one known as Keiji was full of similar wonderous mysteries to the sudden articulation of detail he has created. He seemed to jump around from varying levels of articulation judging from Jade's stories and their own personal accounts. For Rose something about this also made her a bit uneasy. Why did he change it around so much? What goes through his head that she can't see? She wanted to know so badly but decided not to pry at the current moment. She would most assuredly pry later though.

 

Keiji finally managed to get back on track, “So the Archons had been setting up a plan to take on this guy because apparently it was really hard for them to reach the dude. This plan was 3 months in. When they found out I punched him into the darkest parts of space in a matter of seconds it kind of came crashing down. Their plan that is. Well turns out for their hardwork anyways the Chief had special scarves made showing their support for the blue little Torvan people, no seriously they don't go past like 4 and a half feet and they look just like the Alovan except dark blue. I declined mine though merely because I actually didn't really do much. I beat the bad guy but that doesn't really count when I didn't even know the situation in the first place. At one point before leaving the planet a really young Torvan girl approached me with a gift. She wanted to say thank you for taking out the bad guy. Now the Torvans have delicate fingers so sewing things is not something they often do, I guess you could consider it something really special when they do. She had knitted me a black scarf adorned with a light blue star at the end that seemed to glow. I explained to her that it wasn't fair that I should take credit when I didn't know what was going on their planet,” Keiji paused for a moment and made a small smirk, “She told me something impossible to argue with, more or less she wouldn't let me. She said to me 'Even if you did know you would have done just the same. I know. I can tell.' I couldn't fight back so I smiled and took the scarf. Now I where it everywhere and show it off to everyone, because damn that little girl can sew,” Keiji chuckled a bit as he finished his story.

 

Rose looked at him with an endearing smile, “You seem to have some code of honor that you uphold.”

 

“Another analysis?” asked Keiji while wiggling his eye brows.

 

Without flinching Rose returned his question with a quick answer, “No just a friendly observation.” She continued to smile at Keiji as he stared at her a bit confused. 

“Now if you will excuse me for a moment I must attend to some boxes in the back real quick. Still trying to get this place ready as soon as possible,” exclaimed Rose as she got up and made her way to the back.

 

Once she was in the backroom the main room drifted into silence. Keiji would let his eyes wander and Kanaya would look to her feet and then to the plant and then back to her feet once more, consistently repeating this sequence until Keiji spoke up.

 

“Something wrong with that plant?” Keiji asked. He looked upon Kanaya expectantly barely noticing that she seemed to jump a bit out of her seat from forgetting that he was there

 

“Oh Sorry Um....” Kanaya hesitated answering but was reassured quickly by Keiji.

 

“Don't worry, maybe I can help.”

 

Kanaya finally worked up the nerve to respond, “Well It Seems The Flower That I Bought For The Counter Is Ill. I Do Not Know Why And While I Have Resolved To Fix The Problem Myself I Fear That There Is Nothing I Can Do.....” Kanya's head drooped down.

“Is there sometthing special about that particular flower?”

“Ah Well Yes, It Is The Only Jade Colored Flower On This Planet. It Requires Great Attention To Harbor One And As Some Have Said A 'Gentle Touch And Loving Heart'.....But The Flower is Dying And I Believe I May Be The Problem.....I Know It Sounds Stupid But One Cannot Help But Think..” Kanaya started to tear up a bit and before she could reach full blown sob Keiji was right next to her resting his hand on her shoulder.

“I can help,” he proclaimed as he got up and walked over to the plant. Kanaya got up as well, albeit slowly, and made her way over to him and the flower.

“It Is Fine Keiji, It Is Merely A Flower. I Am Quite Sure That I Will-” Kanaya was quickly cut off by Keiji.

 

“Gonna stop you right there Kan Kan. First off this plant being ill isn't your fault. It seems to be carrying a very rare plant-only pathogen that gnaws at the stems of certain plants. Second I really get the feeling that for you this is more than just a flower. You don't need to worry k?” As Keiji finished his brief speech he gave her the biggest, goofiest grin he could muster. Kanaya laughed a bit and then watched as Keiji turned his back to her.

 

She could here a yelp and a tearing sound coming from his. Once he turned back around she saw his left arm had his Oracle Band removed and the scaleplate on it removed. There was more glowing light blue liquid and in the center there seemed to be a small circular pool of it. Keiji dabbed his fingers in it and then rubbed some of it on the stem of the plant. 

 

He pulled out a cloth and covered his arm real quickly. Kanaya looked shock but Keiji grabbed her face and turned it towards the plant just in time to see the plant turning a lovely shade of green and coming back to life in full. For a moment a few tears streamed down her face but she quickly wiped them off and continued to stare at the plant. It was alive again. Keiji's voice broke her out of her awe.

“So its cured and healthy again. You were doing a fine job raising it, you just had a bit of bad luck is all. Thankfully I was here to heroically save the day haha just kidding. Twas the least I could for such a beautiful young lady that was upset.”

 

Kanaya merely blinked at him. She had no idea what to say. Who would? What she did do was blush a minor bit at his comment. Before her train of thought could wander off they heard a loud crash followed by a scream, all from the backroom.

They quickly rushed into the backroom to find Rose on the floor with her hands next to her leg and the bone in her leg was sticking out. She was cringing in pain and her eyes were drowned in tears. Kanaya couldn't find words and dove straight for the phone.

Keiji, however, remained calm. He walked up to Rose and knelt down. He put his right hand to her forehead. At the time Rose was having trouble processing anything except the extreme pain she was feeling or else she would have strangled him. 

Rose began to go unconscious from the pain but before she could be subjugated by it, the pain mysteriously vanished. For a moment Rose thought she might have been dead but upon looking around the room and stopping on Keiji's cringing face she realized she wasn't.

 

_His face.....is he in pain?_

_Why would be in pain?_

_He looks like how I was just feeling....._

_Oh my god....._

“Don't worry Rose I can handle this,” Keiji said as he gritted his teeth from the pain. He took his palm off her head and the pain continued to flow to him. He bent down with his back turned to Rose and Rose could hear a tearing sound. When Keiji turned back around he was holding a long black thin object.

It was his right leg's scale plate. He then pulled a piece of clothe out of another pocket and put the plate down over the protruding bone on Rose's leg. Keiji somehow found a moment to crack a joke in all of this.

“Dang Rose you must want to do show business badly, but you're not actually suppose to break a leg,” he cringed in pain but still managed to laugh a bit at his horrible joke.

Rose remained speechless. She felt no pain from any of it. More importantly she knew. She knew he was feeling the pain she felt but somehow he managed to handle it amazingly. At first she was amazed at the feats he was performing right in front of her eyes but eventually she became extremely worried. What kind of hell would you have to go through where you could manage to keep yourself together while being in that much pain, she wondered.

Once Keiji attached the plate to her leg his face returned to normal from its cringing state and Rose looked a bit concerned about the returning pain. However she was going to assure him that it was ok.

There was no pain though. In fact for some reason she couldn't even feel the bone sticking out.

“The bone was merged back inside and the plate will acutally heal it fast. In about a couple hours you will be as good as new. The plate will also alleviate the pain. I would say lie down on the couch for a while in the main room for 2-3 hours-” Rose cut him off with a kiss to his cheek. His cheeks instantly went glowing again. She chuckled but was cut off herself from Keiji lifting her up and taking her to the couch. He sat her down and sat against her back. Kanaya pulled up on the other side of Keiji and before Keiji could even formulate a thought she pecked him on the cheek. His cheeks began to glow bright blue once more. 

 

They talked and talked and talked about more of Keiji's smaller ventures that seemed to be grand only to end rather quickly and boorishly but on a note that made them all laugh. In Kanaya and Rose's minds the same thought seemed to pass through repeatedly.

_Thank you..._

 

 

Keiji looked down at his Band and realized he needed to head back home. He had heard that Tavros and Gamzee were out camping and that Calliope was busy today so he decided to try for them all another time.

 

Keiji blasted out the shop door with slight glee. Back in the shop though Rose and Kanaya were looking at each other with a slight blushes in their cheeks....


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fill and plot shadow.
> 
> Sorry :( kinda need to get a few things set in motion. Next chapter is gonna be quite interesting and revelations galore.

# Chapter 13: End of Meet and Greet.

Keiji's last stop was with Equius and Nepeta who happened to be in Equius' workshop working on a new engine for cars. Keiji had caught wind that Gamzee and Tavros were out of town going camping.

Keiji finally reached the open garage door entrance of the workshop and peered in. Sparks were shooting out of a giant metal contraption in the center. 

 

“Equius, this thing is kinda scurrying me, make it stopppppp!!!!”

“I cannot stop this Nepeta it is only charging. Soon it will stop and hopefully we will have a new power source for transportation”

 

Equius and Nepeta continued to watch the contraption with intensity before a voice called out from behind them.

 

“That's not gonna work...”

Nepeta and Equius turned around to see Keiji standing in the garage doorway shaking his head.

Equius seemed confused, “I am sorry what?”

“Well you got everything right but the power coupling you're using is too low grade. Even if you made it with titanium and steel with a more efficient design it still won't work. You're utilizing the base form of energy or inFinite energy, while I commend you for going that route, you need better material for the entire stabilization process. This, however, goes back around to what I was talking about with the power coupling. Redesigning everything with different materials wouldn't be necessary if you just changed around the design for the coupling. I might have a small stash of stabilized promethium. That should do good.”

 

Before Equius and Nepeta could formulate a reply Keiji pulled up his Oracle Band up and tapping the top right corner. A small 19 inch holgraphic display came up. Keiji flicked at it in multiple directions before stopping and tapping it. A silverish and blue rock materialized and fell into his open hand.

 

“This is promethium. It has very many uses. This sample however only functions as a great power drain and flow system. As well as being very good for power couplings.......Did you guys get any of that?”

 

“......”

“......”

Keiji stared at them for a few more seconds and then sighed,”I am guessing not.”

He walked up to Equius and grabbed his hand only to met by a jumpy Equius.

 

“What are you doing? Dirt low b100d!?!?!?!”

Nepeta slapped the back of Equius in the back of the head. “Knock it pawff Equius, he was giving you something fur yur stupid purroject.”

“Oh. Oh my. I...I need a towel.”

Keiji disrupted the flow of the conversation. “No you little fucker, you're takin this thing. Oh and by the way, black and blue light.”

 

“I am lost what are the colors for,” asked Equius as he reluctantly took the mineral.

“I am a dual blood, I have two mixed bloods. Also one of them is a light blood type. It glows.”

“Oh my gosh. You're b100d color, its not on the hemospectrum.”

Keiji merely sighed. Nepeta smacked Equius on the back of the head once more and then walked over to Keiji wrapping him in a small hug.

“Its good that you came to chat :3.” Nepeta pulled back from Keiji and smiled brightly.

“I won't be here long unfortunately since I have to be back at the house fur-- I mean for the area report from Seeth. She typically scouts the areas we proceed to. She makes sure that its secured. Not sure why though. I can hold my own easily. Even against an army or like 4 haha.”

“Awww well thats undurrstandable....i think.”

Equius finally came out of his stupor. “This material....by gog it...it will work,” Equius proclaimed with glee and sweat. He felt around on the material and examined it with a magnifying glass.

 

“I can't believe I am saying this...Thank....you.” Equius started to squirm. He patted himself with a towel.

 

“Go on dude I will just chat with Nepeta for a bit before I go.” Keiji waved Equius off and he darted into the inner parts of the workshop.

 

About a half an hour passed and Keiji bid adieu to the two. He made his way right home.

 

It was dinnertime and Seeth had returned home once Jane, Keiji, Jade and Dad began to dig into their food. When she popped inside the dining room she noticed Keiji's arms wrapped in bandages. For a mere moment her eyes shown a murderous feeling. It was brief and Keiji didn't notice but Jade did. 

“Hey Keiji just wondering did something happen to your scales?”

“Oh nothing really just broke em off by accident. They'll grow back.” Keiji gave her a faux sincere smile. Seeth noticed but decided she would find out in the morning with her Oracle Search. 

Jane dropped her slight look of concern and went back to 'interrogating' Keiji, “So Kei tell me about some of your favorite pranks or at least one of them.”

“Yeah brother, bro, broski tell ussssssssss.” Jade was so excited still from everything in the past few days.

“Frick, fine.....hmmm...oh I got one.”

Jane and Jade, and even Dad a bit, leaned in to hear his feat better.

“Ok so there is a man named James Mcalla. He sometimes annoys the crap outta me. One time he sabotaged my shower to only do cold water. I figured he wanted a war soooo here's what I did.” Keiji stopped for suspense. “There was an elevator to his penthouse that he enjoyed taking so much. I may have rigged it to stop on every floor but his own. It was safe to ride but he ended up having to take the stairs. When he reached the top of the stairs there was a giant boulder blocking the way courtesy of a one Keiji Haku. All of this was actually to stall him long enough to brick and spackle his door. He wandered up and down the halls for so many friggin hours. Hehehe eventually he realized what happened. It was awesome hahahahah.”

Jade chuckled a bit but Jane seemed in disbelief. “I don't believe that one is your favorite. However that was pretty good hahaha.”

The rest of the night passed along with a plethora of jokes and minor stories.

 

~At Rose's house.

 

Rose was in her room reading the book Seeth had given her. Her leg had fully healed within 3 hours as Keiji had mentioned. She had the plate put away somewhere safe. She smiled as she read the book. 

Rose had just started on chapter 17 which was about the mating culture of the Dragonine and Soulnine. Rose chuckled a bit from what she read but then heard a strange noise from in front of her. She lowered the book to find one Seeth sitting on her bed with a giant smile.

“Um hello Miss Seeth.”

“Seeth is fine. Enjoying the book?”

“Yes, quite. Some of the more daunting rituals in troll culture are nothing compared to the ones in Dragonine and Soulnine culture. I daresay though, most of what I have read seems to be based on theoreticals.”

“Well their race is only 2 years old. They still have a lot to figure out. But the good doctor that wrote this book is amazing. He actually happens to be a great friend of Keiji's.”

“Interesting. He is the progenitor of his race as far as I can tell but that is only based on speculation.”

“You'd be right...”

“Is something wrong Seeth?”

.Seeth didn't answer and stared out Rose's window.

“Seeth we haven't known each other for a while but Keiji seems to trust you a lot. If something is wrong you can talk to me.”

Seeth turned to looked straight into Rose's eyes as if gauging her reactions. “If he was in trouble would you help him?”

“By him I am assuming you mean Keiji, and to answer your most curious question, yes I would.”

“Good.”

“May I ask why the sudden inquiry as to the loyalty of my friendship with Keiji?”

“All in good time Rose but for now I want you to kind of skip ahead and read chapters 23, 24 and 25.”

“Alright I can do that if it is necessary. Anything specific I should be looking for?”

“Hmm you will understand....oh and chapter 31. It's a rather important chapter now. Some things have come up and reading that chapter may allow you to aid me. I must be off now please have a good night.”

Before Rose could respond Seeth disappeared in a flash of lights.

Rose stared out into the dark spaces in her room and then sighed as if accepting defeat.

She popped open her book and flipped to chapter 23.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah hell, shit just got real.
> 
> Next 2 episodes are gonna start getting action packed.

# Chapter 14: Dreaded Truth

Morning came once more. Seeth left during breakfast to dig around a bit for some information. She had a special ability called Oracle Search that let her trace and see past events as long as they were within the last 24 hours.

Seeth quickly made her way through town checking out all the spots Keiji had gone to. She would fast forward, rewind, slow down, and stop the viewed past events. 

Eventually she found what she was looking for. She headed back to the house as Keiji was just getting ready to head out. He was going to head to the Cafe to hangout with everyone.

Jade made her way in between the both of them as they made their way to the Cafe. Jade made it a point to inquire about Keiji's home before this.

“Soooooooo Bro, Kei, do you have another place you stayed before here.” Jade leaned in a bit as she asked.

“Yep, and I still stay there. I am actually on vacation now. I called in for it last night.....after the chief chewed my ass out for reporting in late.”

Seeth shook her head and sighed. “I can't believe she was in tears, you really owe her an apology.”

“She's gonna call me back later today so I will talk to her then.” Keiji stared on ahead.

Jade jumped back into the conversation, “This chief woman sounds like she really cares about you.”

“She is kind of like the mother of all the Archons but she has a special fondness for Keiji. There are quite a few reasons but I believe the most important one is that Keiji's mother is a close friend of the chief's so she sees him as her own child. A very bratty one at that.”

Keiji stuck is tongue out at Seeth. They finally made it to the Cafe and stepped inside. All of their friends were in the back having various conversations. When Keiji and Seeth stepped inside they all stopped talking to turn around and say hi. Ableit Keiji may have barged in singing at the top of his voice “THE FUN HAS ARRIIIIIVED.” 

Dave pulled out a chair next to him but before Keiji could sit down his OB started to beep violently.

“Fuck. That's the chief. I am gonna take this call to the park where she can yell at me without causing a scene.” Keiji shrugged and walked right back out of the Cafe while waving goodbye to a smiling Jade and Seeth.

“Jade dear why don't you join him? He might get really pissed and we would like not to accrue any property damage.”

“Um sure. Would be kinda interesting to meet the chief....and watch her chew him out haha.” Jade headed out the door after Keiji.

“Hey Seeth you can sit nex-” Before Feferi could finish her sentence Seeth turned to face them.

There was a vicious and murderous intent in her eyes.

“You're all lucky I don't end your fucking lives now.” Everyone jumped out of their seats in horror. Everyone except Rose who had her head lowered. Seeth could only see her quivering lips seeing as her eyes were being covered by her hair that was hanging down.

Seeth directed all her rage towards Rose. “I trusted you.....You have NO IDEA how much I want to cut you to pieces.”

“....”

“Say SOMETHING you BITCH!”

“.......”

Dave got in between the two girls. “Whoa whoa chill out. What the hell is going on.”

“Why don't you ask your fucking sister.”

Dave sighed. It was still too early to deal with this kind of bullshit. “Rose can you just tell us what is going on before this crazy woman goes on a killing spree.”

“Yeah go ahead and tell him about the scaleplates.” At hearing the last few words she jerked her head up, turning slowly to face Seeth. Her eyes were filled with fear and had bags under them.

“I..I..I didn't know......if I had known.....I would have STOPPED HIM!!” Rose clenched her teeth and tears slowly started to stream down her face. 

At the sight of her tears and fear Seeth's anger and killing started to diminish. She sat down in the chair Dave pulled out for Keiji which just also happened to be across from Rose.

Everyone turned to look at Seeth even Rose, ableit slowly. All they could hear was Seeth's slow breathing and a slight sobbing from Rose.

“I...I am sorry. You really wouldn't have known and even if you did honestly you probably wouldn't even be able to stop him...” Seeth sighed before leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

Dave looked between the two and tried speaking out but Karkat beat him to it, “CAN YOU TWO FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON???????”

Seeth sighed once more and tried to explain but, like Karkat with Dave, Rose started speaking first, “Keiji's scaleplates. He tore them off his skin to help Kanaya and I. My leg broke and the bone ruptured my skin. Kanaya had a plant infected with some rare virus. He used two different plates. He seemed fine but......if at least 2 of the main 4 plates is forcefully removed it sends a Dragonine's body into a deteriorating state. 10 days from removal if they don't use transference sleep to heal them their body will destabilize and send them into a permanent coma....”

Everyone just stared at Rose. Coma? That seemed ridiculous to them but all their thoughts were cut short by Terezi.

“3...”

Rose looked over slightly at Terezi. “What?”

Terezi let out a small welp and pulled out her black scalemate from her backpack. She showed the front of it to them. “He chipped off part of it to repair my scalemate,” Terezi explained while she hugged the scalemate close. “And then it shattered when he used it to stop shards of 8-ball...” Vriska couldn't say anything but only lowered head. She then quickly raised her head.

“W8T, all he has to do is this transference sleep, right? Or does it take a long time to heal? I mean it doesn't sound that way so it should all come out good, right?” she exclaimed with a slight smile believing that maybe everything would be ok. They all did after she said that but when they saw the look of sadness on Seeth that special piece of hope began to vanish.

Rose asked finally, “He has kin, does he not?”

Seeth looked up at Rose and shook her head lightly. Rose's jaw dropped faster than anything.

“But-ho-WHY?!?!?!” There was a look of sheer anger on Rose's face. Seeth looked right into her eyes. For her there was no point in keeping it secret and Keiji sure as hell wasn't going to say anything.

“First let me say this, not being in transference for the last 2 years, albeit only done via very old techniques to somewhat stabilize his energy in small amounts, he is approaching the end. The end being another perma-coma....Dragonine require trans-sleep to dissipate destabilized energy via kin.”

Karkat brought up a question in response. “What the fuck is a kin?”

Rose worked up the nerve to explain kin to Karkat. “On a Dragonine's hands are blood pockets. They put their hands together with each other or any race for that matter and exchange a extremely small amount of blood with each other as well as a cell that designates the two as kin of each other. A Dragonine must sleep next to kin so that their dissipating energy, in small amounts, flows through them. The energy is harmless in small amounts though...I don't understand though, why he has no kin. Is it a personality thing?”

Seeth gave out her millionth sigh for the day. “No. In fact he has so many people he could take as kin its ridiculous. No the problem stems from something else. He knows all about the perma-coma and transference, which is odd considering his lack of knowledge on his own fucking race........Do all of you remember from Keiji's short summary of a life story the Creeping Insanity?”

Dave chimed in, “Yeah we all know. And he had it handled and all that shit.”

“You know its an entity that lives inside his mind right?”

Dave continued to be the current spokesperson for everyone, “Yeah sort of. I mean what like split personality or something?”

“No its a real entity given life. Soulless though. Keiji managed to trap it somewhere in his mind....”

“But?”

“3 months before the mission that brought us here it broke out of its cage and put to sleep a part of Keiji that he could have used to stop it. Keiji knows that he can't defeat it now. His only idea is to put himself into an unwakeable coma to prevent it from gaining control of him.”

“How dangerous is this thing?”

“Oh god this is question. Hmm, alrighty look, there are very special and dangerous powers out their called Exotic Abilities. Generally those that have them usually have 1 to 3....Keiji has 5?”

“What the hell do they do?”

“I can't tell you all of them. Its for him to show and tell. The one you need to know about his called Ark Splice. Its capable of erasing and eating anything. From what I can tell he can create special singularities that swallow in anything he focuses on. He ate a moon once with it. It's also pretty versatile. I don't know how but he cut an entire galaxy in half with it once. Of course he put it back together.”

“Wow that sounds badass but also ridiculously dangerous.”

“In the Creeping Insanity's hands it would probably mean the end of everything.”

“So he is trying to prevent that by perma-trapping it inside of his still, breathing body?”

“Pretty much.”

All of them looked down contemplating it all. Keiji seemed sort of aloof and adventury from what they could tell but they never would have imagined he would go to such lengths to protect everything and everyone. It seemed like he exhausted his options. Not that there was that many to begin with it appeared.

 

Terezi was the first to speak up, “What can we do to help?”

Seeth looked around the table watching, gauging their reactions.

“Be his kin. He can sleep and his scales will heal. His healing capabilities are pretty top-notch.”

Dave jumped right back into the fold, “Yeah judging by what you said he isn't going to let that happen.”

“I know, so we are going to force it on him...”

“I'm sorry what? Force him? The guy with ultimate badass powers? Oh yeah let's get right on that. 'Hey Keiji we're just gonna- WABAM got your hand.....or not since you, you know, fucking super ninja flipped the fuck out of the way and managed to dodge like every fucking thing we did' and yea, I know i could stop time but maybe no one noticed but he fucking can too. Oh and his skill at manipulate time is pretty higher than mine.”

Rose cut in before Seeth could respond, “She's right we have to force him, mainly by tricking him. Direct confrontation is impossible as Dave has just eluded to. I am assuming you have a plan in regards to this.” Rose wiped the tears from her face and her once-filled-with-fear eyes were now filled with determination.

“I do.” Seeth could tell Dave and a few others were against but they could tell there really wasn't another option. 

Seeth's eyes grew a bit, “Oh but I forgot to mention that its an eternal bond being kin. You will forever be his loyal kin. It is like being friends but super friends. I can't quite explain it. Will any of you do it?”

Everyone looked around at each other contemplating however Terezi, Vriska, Roxy, Rose and Kanaya stood up.

Roxy spoke out, “I don't like that look in his eyes like he's given up all hope. I feel like he wasn't always like that, like a vibe. I want to see him with happiness in his eyes.”

"You don't even need me to think on it." Vriska crossed her arms and gave a glare of determination at Seeth

"He's a dork but he's our dork. I'll be damned if I let him just get off with a warning. He has the biggest cane drubbings ever coming to him," declared Terezi.

Kanaya chimed in as well, “It was only a plant but he did something dangerous nonetheless just to make me smile. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing my “knight in shining armor” laying in bed to never wake up again.”

“Oh hell no, I am not leavin my best bro on a fuckin bed for the rest of his life,” exclaimed Dave with ferocity. 

"YEAH FUCK THAT!" shouted Karkat, pumping his fist in the air.

Soon others were standing up and after a few minutes everyone was on their feet.

Seeth's eyes grew really wide and eventually tears started crawling down her face 

“Thank you so much..” Seeth's smile grew so huge you would almost swear it would have broke off the sides of her face.

Kanaya, however, had a look of great concern on her face. “This is great and all but what of the Creeping Insanity? Keiji may just find new ways to comatose himself. He seems like he would be pretty resourceful.”

“I have that covered. I am going to need your help with that too though. Can you all help me?”

“Is there a need to ask?” exclaimed Kanaya with a small smirk. All of them began to smirk.

“Hmm well then let me go over the plan.......”

 

 

Later that night, Keiji had never made it back to the Cafe since Jade, the Chief and him all got into a conversation about various technologies. Dinner that night was the same as the one before. They all talked about various things and Dave even stopped by with the goal of getting Keiji to face palm. Unfortunately no face palms were made that night. Eventually they all scurried to bed and while Keiji laid awake on his. Seeth went to talk to Jade about everything. At first she freaked out but after a bit she, without hesitation, decided to go along. 

The plan was set, and there was no turning back.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter in the Creeping Insanity arc. And boy oh boy ......yeah that Creed is gonna do something awesome later

# Chapter 15: You're a wiza- WITCH!!!

Morning came and passed. It was now around noon. Everyone gathered in the cafe waiting patiently for Keiji and Seeth who were running late.

“Oh my gosh its been like 45 minutes where the hell are they???” whined Roxy who was slumped over her chair.

“Keiji said they were working on a hub transport array and trying to fix a major bug in it. I don't quite know what that entails but it does sound like something worthy of being late for,” Rose explained as she pinched the bridge of her nose. The boredom and nervousness was actually giving her a headache. The sooner they started the better. However it wouldn't be easy. Keiji was definitely no pushover.

After another 10 minutes Keiji burst through the door with a bit of black smudges on his face. Most likely from whatever he was working on.

“Fuuuuuckin hell, it literally shorted out at the fucking end.....it was WORKING.....ugh.” Keiji seemed really pissed off. They all knew that it was only going to get worse from here.

Keiji and Seeth took the open seats in between Dave and Rose. Seeth ordered a water and Keiji a lemonade.

Keiji sipped on his lemonade speaking in between every few sips, “Well that was crap, what's on the agenda for today? I was gonna suggest going to see a movie. It would be awesome, we could all flick popcorn at the terrible parts of the movie.”

“Actually Keiji we have other plans to attend to today,” exclaimed Rose with a slight smirk.

“Oh like what? Maybe I could join yall?”

“Yall? Really dude? Did you seriously just say 'yall'?” asked Dave who was raising an eyebrow at Keiji.

“Uuuuhhhh, noooo.” _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_

“Sure dude.”

Seeth finished her water, sighed and then stood up. “Keiji”

“Yes Seeth? Eager to hit the road already haha?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Uh for what?”

“This.” Seeth quickly reached around Keiji's neck and pinched a spot on the left side of his neck. Keiji's body fell on the able.

“Seeth, what the hell are you doing...” Keiji's tone was omnious and borderline threatening. He was never a fan of cheap tactics. “Seeth, you're like a sister to me, so I will give you one chance to explain before I go on a rampage.”

“Before that I am gonna need your hand.”

“What the fuck do you nee-” Seeth cut him off via ripping his half fingered glove off his right hand.

“Wait a minute Seet-” Seeth pinched harder on his neck. He stopped talking and cringed.

“You haven't left me a lot of options Keiji. If everyone would lineup in a I-don't-give-a-fuck fashion we will get this show on the road.”

Dave was in front of the line. “Don't worry dude everything will turn out just fine.” Dave place his hand in Keiji's over the blood spot.

“Ah damn.” Dave's face cringed a bit in pain. It subsided after a few minutes. Dave looked down at his hand to see what looked like a mark in the exact same shape as Keiji's blood spot. 

_In thine hands hold thy blades,_

_Wielded to hunt._

“What the fuck was that?” Dave looked really puzzled.

Seeth looked at him as if he was going crazy.

“I heard a voice, I'm guessing in my head.”

“Oh that was most likely the Creed of the Hunter. Its inscribed in his blood at this point.”

“Seriously that's pretty fuckin awesome.” Dave moved to the back and the line moved up. The next was Rose.

“All will be fine Keiji, I promise.” She grabbed his hand with force and winced at the pain. After it passed more words shot into Rose's mind.

_Follow the path laid,_

_And our law told._

“That voice, it's not Keiji's”

“Nope its the First Archon's. He was a hunter and he wrote the creed. It was supposed to be passed on from generation to generation except it got lost at some point.”

Sollux moved up next and quickly grabbed Keiji's hand. Another wince and more words.

_The strength of the pack is the wolf,_

_The strength of the wolf is the pack._

“Wow I feel that was taken from something.”

“Some of the Creed has been discovered in stories thousands of years from when it was made. It is completely possible that the stories that have parts of the Creed in them were actually written by Hunters.” Seeth made a motion to continue the line with her hand.

Next was Jade. More wincing and more words.

_Take them, guide them,_

_And in the end they will be your army._

Next was Roxy.

_Hunt the enemy, guard the soul,_

_And seek the histories of us all._

Now it was Terezi's turn.

_Take the Creed to heart,_

_And take your hatred to the grave._

_For it is the poison of the soul._

Vriska stepped up.

No words came. “I think that was it. I didn't hear any more words.”

“That was probably it then. I know the Creed isn't long but you should remember the words you have heard. They speak of how Keiji does his job.”

All of the rest of them passed through the line until it ended with Aradia being the last one to grasp his hand.

 

Keiji had remained silent for most of the time. Finally he spoke, “What was the point... you're entire plan was to make them my kin? Ha doesn't mean I am going to sleep any time soon.”

“I know and I must apologize once more.”

“Oh my god you aren't.”

“Sorry!” Seeth pulled a small leaf of mint out of her pocket and swished it around Keiji's nose and with in seconds he passed out on the table.

“Whoa that was pretty easy,” exclaimed Dave who was rubbing his hand a bit.

“Yeah but now we must move on to the next phase.” Seeth pulled a small bottle out of her pocket. She opened it up and dumped its contents on the table. They were small white pills with a little flower design on them.

“These are high grade instant sleeping pills. Take one and you'll be out like a light. After all of you are out cold I will connect us with Keiji.”

Keiji himself started to lightly glow with looked like bits of light coming off his body. He had entered transference sleep. Everyone could feel something flowing through them. It was his destabilized energy.

 

Everyone grabbed one pill each and downed them. Within a matter of seconds they were out like lights. Seeth sat back down next to Keiji. She watched him for a few minutes while he slept.

“I will make it all better I promise.” Seeth reached her hand out and a band of light stretched around the cafe touching each of them.

 

 

Deep in Keiji's mind in an area filled with only white and small bits of color dissipating and appearing everyone appeared out of thin air. They looked around the space, a bit in awe at the sight. Jade thought to herself about the similarities between this space and the space they met Keiji in.

Another flash of light and Seeth was standing in front of them. 

“Alright so all of you know the plan. We draw out the Insanity who will have Keiji somewhere near asleep. I have elected 5 of you to wake him up. When he appears I will instruct how to wake hi-”

Seeth was cut off by an unknown voice, “That's lovely Seethy but do you have a combat plan or were you just gonna wing it. Sure you and Keiji are good at it but damn this fucker is dangerous.”

Everyone turned to look to the left of them all. Standing at a little over 5 feet was a young girl with black bobbed hair with half of it over one of her eyes. Hey eyes were white with black irises and white pupils. She was wearing a white long coat with a hood that was up.

Seeth's mouth dropped, “Oh my god MIRA?!?!?!?!?” Seeth rushed over and tackle hugged Mira right into the ground. Mira crashed into the ground with an OOOPF sound.

“Seeth as much as I would love to have a tackle hug showdown right now we have more pressing matters,” explained Mira who looked like she was short on breath from being crushed by the tall blonde.

“Sorry sorry!” Seeth stood up off of Mira and Mira stood up as well.

Mira sighed and took a deep breath. Seeth had a concerned look on her face.

“Are you mad Mira?”

Mira stared at her for a good while before finally answering.

“Mira....”

Mira sighed once more and smirked a bit. “While I am pissed you decided to do this without letting anyone know, I understand the urgency of the situation so I will let you off with a lecture at a later time. You should know though how dangerous the Creeping Insanity is. It only has a fraction of Keiji's power. Keiji. They guy who beat 27 Master Archons and the Master Archon Sage. The guy who took out an entire planet of Dread. By. Him. Self. You're going to need me at least to hold him off until you can wake up sleeping beauty.”

Seeth blinked and then laughed a bit. “God you're right. I would be most humbled if you would assist us.”

Dave jumped in between them lightly flailing his arms. “Hey Seeth whats up. You maybe wanna fuckin introduce us?”

Mira cleared her throat to speak clearly, “I'm sorry for my rudeness. I am Mira Lancell, Master Archon Witch. I specialize in multi angle attacks and heavy combat medic maneuvers. I also possess an Exotic ability called Life Threading. I look forward to helping you beat the hell out of this Creeping Douche.”

“Did you just mentally capitalize douche,” inquired Dave.

“Yep”

“We're gonna get a long so fucking well.” Her Dave and exchanged fist bumps.

“So are we gonna start this party or should I let Sarah know that you are doing this without her?” Seeth looked right into the eyes of Mira with fear as if to say 'oh dear god don't joke about that.'

 

“Alrighty don't be brash. Everyone get ready.” Everyone had changed into their god tier outfits and pulled out their weapons. Seeth and Mira remained in their attire except for the fact Mira's hood dropped down and a white witches hat was on her head now.

“Well call him out!” shouted Vriska.

“HEY PISSANT CREEPER!!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE?” yelled Mira throughout the space.

 

Minutes passed and a small sound from the distance in front of them could be heard. It was like chains rattling. The sound grew louder and louder.

 

The sound stopped and like the calm before the storm the silence gave way to a giant explosion protruding black tendrils everywhere. Out of the black and dark tendrils emerged a body. It looked like Keiji except it was pitch black like a shadow and it had yellowish eyes.

The shadow spoke.

_“YOU CALLED??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,”_ the Creeping Insanity's laugh resounded throughout the space.

Everyone entered a battle stance.

“ALRIGHT LETS KICK ITS ASS!!!” shouted Seeth and with that they dashed forward and the showdown began.


	16. Chapter 16

# Chapter 16: Smooch The Prince

The clash kicked off with a dash from everyone towards Insanity. It lifted its twisted tendril infested arm and quickly threw it from one side to another. A massive force of wind blew everyone back except Mira who some how leapt over the gust. She held out her hands and giant black lances with red auras around them appeared around her hands. With a a fling of her arms she flung the lances at the Insanity.

The Insanity stood there and took all the lances. When the smoke cleared it was still there unharmed. 

“Holy shit he took all of those um thingies and survived?!” Dave looked a bit shocked but he pulled out his half sword and jumped into the fray almost instantaneously getting knocked back by a tendril.

Jade and Rose tried using long range attacks. Rose fired blast after blast of energy from her needles and Jade shot every bullet in the clip of her rifle. Black tendrils blocked each and every attack with ease. The black body remained motionless.

Kanaya, Karkat, Nepeta, and Equius remained back waiting for opening. The tendrils clumped together to stop the continuous attacks from Rose and Jade giving the opening they were looking for. They dashed for the Insanity's back. 

As they reached its back they were met with the a deformity protruding from its back. Another Insanity grew out of its back. The Insanity that Mira was focused on folded into the new one. The Insanity had turned to face Kanaya and them. With one giant swing of a black tendril they were thrown back. 

Sollux, Aradia, Eridan, Roxy, and Dirk decided to take their chances and leapt into the fray. In the same turn of events a tendril knocked them all away. Jake rushed over to Rose and Jade to assist them in getting the Insanity's attention.

Using the distraction Vriska, Terezi and Feferi all dashed in for a 3-pronged pincer attack. Before they could reach their target the Insanity lifted up one of its arms and smashed it into the ground creating a shockwave that sent the three girls flying away. 

Dave watched everything unfold and decided it would be best to try using their powers they acquired from the game. Dave lifted his right hand towards the Insanity, focusing his will into stopping it dead in its tracks.

Nothing happened.

Dave blinked a few times before realizing his powers wasn't working. He looked over at Jade who was trying to use hers to get everyone to a safe distance to regroup. She looked extremely concerned. Her powers weren't working either.

“Ah shit our powers don't seem to be working in here!!!!” Dave called out.

Everyone's face looked in shock. Their powers were going to be the thing they thought would tip the scale in their favor. 

Mira shouted out to them all, “OF COURSE THEY DON'T WORK. THIS IS A PLACE GOVERNED BY DIFFERENT LAWS. LUCKILY SEETH'S AND MINE'S POWERS DO WORK. WHICH ISN'T SAYING MUCH BECAUSE THIS FUCKER ISN'T EVEN TRYING YET AND I HAVE BARELY HURT HIM.”

No one knew what to do. How could they assist Keiji? They were completely powerless against that thing. However Mira acknowledged this and provided much needed support.

“I KNOW IT'S FUCKING DIFFICULT BUT JUST KEEP DISTRACTING IT. BETWEEN YOU GUYS AND ME WE CAN BOUNCE AROUND HIS ATTENTION LONG ENOUGH UNTIL SEETH GETS DONE CALLING UP OUR LAST GUEST.”

With a slightly regained composure they jumped, dashed and shot at the Insanity. They were successful in drawing it's attention for quite a bit. 

Dirk and Dave paired up to bounce his attention to the left and right continuously. While they played tag with the Insanity Roxy started chucking grenades that Jade had for this occasion. Dave and Dirk backed off to let several grenades explode in front of the black entity. It shrugged it off and started to move forward slowly. 

Mira landed right in front of it putting her left hand up to its face. In mere seconds a beam of white energy with width of a car. The giant blast to its face made it flinch a bit.

Once the beam dissipated the Insanity was leaning back a bit. Mira jumped away out of caution. It leaned forward and the eerie grin on its face changed to one of rage. It raised its hand with a palm outwards and from it erupted a wave of black energy in the direction of Mira.

Mira hastily jumped out of the way of the wave just a second before it hit her. She got back on her feet and created hundreds of energy lances and flung them at highspeed at the Insanity. It jumped and dodged/weaved through all of the lances darting closer and closer to Mira. Mira was prepared though she created a giant ball of energy above her and dropped it right on the Insanity as it closed in on her position. She leaped way far away from the blast and put her hands towards everyone. With a bit of focus she teleported everyone that was close to the blast to right next to her.

The blast settled and smoke wept away by tendrils the Creeping Insanity was twisted and malformed from its previous humanoid shape. Mira didn't stop though she held her hands once more and several spots in space in a sphere around the Insanity began to ripple. From the ripples small beams of light erupted right towards the twisted body of the Insanity. The ripples continued to fire repeatedly for several minutes. 

The rippled settled and the beams faded out. The twisted body looked mutilated beyond belief now.

Dave's glasses slid down his nose. He tried to find words to speak but Roxy found them first. “Holy crap did we just fuckin win!?!?!?!?”

Roxy looked over to Mira who still had her game face on and also seemed agitated.

“We did win right?”

Mira shook her head, “Nope just managed to piss it off, itz cool. I'll start goin serious.” Mira smirked a bit and pulled back the sleeve on her left arm revealing a band similar to Keiji's Oracle Band except Mira's was white.

She pressed down on the front end of her OB and her clothes began to light up. In mere seconds plates of armor formed on her clothes. The armor looked high tech and had lines of energy running through all of it. In addition to her clothes her hair had turned a dark red and there were now 3 narrow eyes in a fan on her forehead.

“What the fuck!?” Karkat couldn't keep his cool.

“What you've never seen a Skarin before?” Mira made a small laugh under her breath ending with a giant smirk.

“What the hell is that???”

“That's what I am.”

Without missing a beat Terezi jumped into the conversation, “Yeah geez Karkat don't be so surprised.” Terezi cackled and smirked hard.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.” They were all brought back to reality with the screeching, maniacal laughter from the Insanity. The most horrible thing though that happened was that it finally spoke.

_“YOU ALL ACT SO NONCHALANTLY, HAHAHA YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKED YOU ARE. I'M GONNA USE THESE TENDRILS HERE TO RIP THE SKIN OFF EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU AND THE BEST PART I WILL MAKE SURE YOU FUCKING STAY ALIVE TO FEEL EVERY BIT OF IT HAHAHAHA!!!!!”_

Mira watched the Insanity creep forward. It finally made its way right in front of Mira. It stared her down. Mira finally smirked once more and the Insanity threw a punch right towards her face. Its fist was only a milimeter from her face.

BOOM!

The Insanity's fist, arm and shoulder were gone. It jumped back and grabbed the spot with the missing arm. Mira could tell it was writhing in pain.

_“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT YOU BITCH.....WAIT THOSE EYES......FUUUUCK!!! YOU'RE A FUCKIN SKARIN VRELL. FUCKING SHE-BITCH!!!! I'LL EAT YOUR FUCKING HEART FIRST!!!!!”_

The Insanity screamed and another arm shot right out of the spot with the missing one.

Dirk almost instantaneously had a comment about it, “Wow that's like some DBZ shit right there.”

Jake groaned and face palmed officially placing Dirk in the running.

Dirk Face Palm Count :1

Mira decided it was her time to be fucking awesome so she pulled out a black bo staff. She twirled it around her hands a few times before not-so-elegantly chucking it at light speed right at the Insanity. The staff exploded on impact ricocheting right back into Mira's hands. Of course the explosion didn't do much but Mira knew that. No, she had another plan. She chucked it once more and this time the Insanity, slightly annoyed by the explosions, caught the bo staff. Just as Mira anticipated. The staff glowed white and bright tendrils came off of it. The tendrils quickly ran through the Insanity. It punctured wholes and wrapped themselves throughout the Insanity till it looked like a giant white blob. 

Mira waited a few minutes to make sure it was all done. Once she was assured she snapped her  
fingers and all the tendrils pulled outwards with extreme speed ripping apart the Insanity. 

“Suck it bitch.” Mira's smirk grew large. She knew she hadn't killed it yet. No it had some of Keiji's powers. Killing it would most likely be impossible without Keiji himself. Oh but she would surely enjoy getting even with the twisted mass that was now being flung everywhere into pieces.

As all the pieces began to land around the brutalizing attack there was a small black ball that floated up and steadfast the pieces quickly reformed back into the Insanity. The look on its face now though was one of pure hatred and rage. Instead of attacking Mira with more words it leapt at her with frightening speeds. It drove its fist right into her stomach only to find her body disappearing into smoke with a bit of laughter. Mira appeared a good few feet away from it. She slammed her hands right on to the ground in front of her. A pillar of energy erupted underneath the Insanity. It was flung hundreds of feet in the air. Mira lifted her hands off the ground quickly and clapped them together. With the force and speed of a super heavy jet ramming into the ground the Insanity was thrown right into the ground creating a massive shockwave stopping dead only inches from Mira . 

Everyone stood in awe. This was a Master Archon. Some of them tried to follow all of Mira's attacks but she was too quick. Her attacks and combos were like a flowing river.

“I know you guys think its amazing and all but we can only use a fraction of our powers here. So this fight won't be able to go on much longer. I would get in there quick if I were you.” Seeth turned from where she was trying to concentrate to look at everyone.

Jade was quick to get the message and before the Insanity could retaliate Jade started firing off shots like there was no tomorrow. She quickly and precisely pinned several shots on what she considered to be the twisted body's head. Agitated, the Insanity rose up from its twisted form and charged at Jade. Jade tried to leap back but fell short and was sent flying away by the a brutal punch from the Insanity. 

Dave and Rose's faces turned to horrified. Jade was screaming as she was flying back clutching her arm. Or where arm would be had the Insanity not cleaved it off. 

Mira didn't watch for long. She teleported behind Jade using telekinesis to grab her arm and bring it back in. Mira quickly reached over both segemented parts and drove thread threw them reattaching Jade's arm to her body. The seam where it reattached glowed for a second and, like nothing had happened at all, Jade's arm was reattached and she was no longer in pain. 

The two of them landed a good distance away from everyone else but Mira made sure they wouldn't get hurt. She raised her hand diagonally up and to the left and a column of energy blew the Insanity far away.

The battle was intense but shortly after Mira played keep away a bit longer with the Insanity, Seeth called out to everyone. All of them in one quick swoop turned to see a familiar body curled and laying on the ground next to Seeth's feet. All but Mira, who was still trying to hold off the Insanity came rushing over.

Vriska arrived first and in no time flat knelt on the ground and started to smack Keiji in the face repeatedly to try and wake him up. Of course it didn't succeed and Vriska was quickly pulled off by Rose and Kanaya who reprimanded her for even thinking that would work.

“Fine! Fine. Well how do you propose we waken him??” Vriska sighed out of annoyance.

Seeth smirked and chuckled under her breath. “I need 5 of you to come here with me. Um let's say Rose, uh Roxy, Vriska, Terezi, and Kanaya. Yes yes that will do.”

Terezi gave Seeth a funny look. “Why us? Maybe Dave would be better.”

Seeth immediately closed the distance between her and Terezi. “Oh Terezi I think you know why,” she whispered in Terezi's ear. Terezi blushed a bright teal color.

Seeth directed the 5 girls away from everyone. “Alright so Mira will continue the distraction but she is going to only be able to hold the Insanity's attention for about 15 more minutes. Once that time is up she will launch one massive attack on it to keep it away long enough for you to wake him up.”

Kanaya looked concerned but also slightly perceived what might be coming,” And how are we to do that?”

Seeth's smirk turned into a massive grin. “Well girls that's simple. Ever heard of the story of Sleeping Beauty?”

Kanaya's eyes grew almost wider than her head, “You can't possibly mean...”

“YEAH! You gots to smooch the prince.”

Their jaws dropped and all 5 of them blushed. They were speechless but not only because they thought the idea was ridiculous. No. To say that the 5 of them hadn't considered kissing was....

“Whoa whoa whoa, is that seriously the only way!?!?!?!” Terezi was starting to sweat and blush even more.

“Its the best way. It utilizes mechanics of soul genetics to transfer alertness from one person to another. It does work. Trust me. And we only get one shot. Are you all really going to say no?”

Terezi put her hands over her eyes and thought for a moment. They couldn't really debate what they didn't understand and a lot of things that were completely strange had happened so they couldn't fight it. “No I will do it....”

Rose gave her answer, “I will commit as well to your plan.”

“Fuck it lets do this!” replied Roxy

“I am all for this...To wake him up!!!! Yes!!! no other reason, “ a nervous Vriska said.

“I....I will do it, it still seems rather odd though.” said Kanaya who was slightly hesitant on the matter.

“Good good now go stand by Keiji and figure out who is going first. When I give the signal smooch the prince!” Seeth shooed them off to Keiji and as they turned around Seeth chuckled quietly and whispered something to herself.

_“Killing two birtds with one stone hehehe.”_


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So its a short chapter but that's because the next chapter I believe will be huge. Plus I want the next chapter to stand on its own. It's gonna be funny and action filled as well as enlightening....maybe.

# Chapter 17: Greatest Magic Trick

The stage was set. Everyone took their places ready for Mira's final push. The 5 girls positioned themselves around Keiji. 

15 minutes till go time.

“Ok, so who is going first?” asked Terezi to the other 4 girls.

“I actually have another question before that,” Roxy responded.

“Roxy, I do not believe this is the righ-” Before Kanaya could finish she was interrupted by Roxy.

“Yes I do.” Roxy remained adamant given the current situation.

Kanaya sighed and rubbed her temples, preparing for a headache of a question, “Alright. What is the question?”

Roxy stood up and off to the side to get a good look at all of them, “Do you have a crush on him? And to clarify I don't mean a black crush. Not even sure if his kind has anything like that.”

The 4 girls had a surprised look on their faces. Their faces began to grow into another more blush filled look however they reverted back to their originally concerned looks by Rose laughing weakly. 

“Oh, Roxy my sister you nee-” Roxy cut off Rose to make a statement.

“Yeah lets try this differently, I KNOW you girls like him. Like like I mean......I do too.”

Each one of them tried to speak but they couldn't. There was some truth in what she said. They sat quietly for the next few minutes.

From a slight bit away Mira called out, “7 MINUTES LEFT!!!”

The girls looked up at each other and then down at the sleeping boy before them. For each other it wasn't hard to guess what the others were thinking. Even Kanaya and Rose that were together didn't know what to say. They felt like they had been caught in a lie. Before their thoughts could continue to spiral down and out of control Vriska pulled them back.

“We do....but right now isn't the time to worry about that. We are here to help Keiji if anything it should be a fuel to us. Keiji first and then we can work out this whole romance thing later agreed?”

One by one they nodded, albeit reluctantly. They gathered around the sleeping boy in a circle.

“3 MINUTES LEFT!”

“Alright I will go first and then we go clockwise,” Kanaya announced. The order from there was Kanaya, Rose, Roxy, Vriska and then Terezi. They switched out their nervous looks for determined ones. The last 3 minutes though seemed to stretch.

Silence came over the battlefield....

 

Mira was standing opposite of the Insanity, holding something her hands. It looked small almost like a grenade. Everyone watched as she held up her hand and crushed the small object in it. Her body started to glow a slight red. 

In a mere instant Mira was engulfed in a bright red flame. The flames turned and twisted forming the shape of her body. 

“Whoa,” was all Dave and Sollux could muster. Everyone else was speechless. Mira looked beautiful with the flames covering her.

“Its called The Crushing Red Sun. It's an Exotic ability that can create and destroy stars.” Seeth's explanation fell on deaf ears as all of them watched Mira.

Mira walked forward stopping just inches in front of the Insanity. It spit at her and laughed its mundane but psychotic laugh. Mira only smirked as she grappled the Insanity. It tried to break free from her but before it could Mira launched her epic attack.

She exploded. Or the flames did as they shot in all directions. The blast formed a sphere that seemed to suck the heat from around it. Mira had managed to teleport way back to everyone else. The sphere hung around for a few minutes signaling go time for the girls.

Kanaya knelt down with her face hovering over Keiji, a million thoughts running through her head. A few thoughts kept repeating though.

_Keiji, when you wake up I want to say thank you. It was just a stupid plant. You seem to have this ability to dig into someone's heart and fix even the smallest pointless cracks, filling them with something so much bigger. I don't know what to say or do but I think Seeth does....It's just a feeling._

She lowered her head pecking him on the lips. A few moments passed however and the peck turned into a full-on kiss. It was Rose that managed to pull her back. Rose then took Kanaya's place knelt down next to Keiji. A skew of thoughts passed through her mind as well but she focused on only a few of them.

_Keiji, I wish I would have known all these years maybe I could have helped sooner. And your scaleplate....I guess in the end nothing I did would have mattered you seem adamant about things like that. You just wanted to see me smiling again. I can't thank you enough. I don't even know how to thank you except maybe...._

She lightly put her lips on his holding the kiss for mere moments that seemed to last forever in Rose's eyes. She was brought back to reality by Roxy.

“My turn.” Roxy quickly knelt on the opposite side that the first 2 girls sat at. She looked over Keiji honing in on his mouth, however her mind wandered elsewhere.

_I didn't even get to talk much to you about well you. I wanna know more. I....liked you for a while now. Part of me was mad though. That maybe you wouldn't be the same person anymore but i'm an idiot, you aren't the exact same. No you're a lot more. My feelings if anything only got stronger but you have so much somewhere else. There may not be room for any of us.....but I won't go down without a fight._

 

She didn't waste anymore time and planted her lips on his kissing him as hard as she possibly good, like it was going out of style. She freaked out once she realized what she was doing and got up giving way for Vriska. 

Vriska knelt and watched his closed eyes, thinking to herself all the things she wished she could say to him right now.

_Kei, I'm sorry. I know you would say don't worry but....I'm still sorry. You know it's kinda funny even you have done horrible things, just like me, but for the right reasons. I thought by now I would be over it but you are. When I see you and hear about you I think maybe if I am with you I could do much better than I am even now and also I think I like you? Its complicated but it looks like you like complicated hahaha......_

 

Vriska knelt down and gave Keiji a semi-chaste kiss. It was short but Vriska's cheeks were full-on cerulean anyways. She got up and beckoned Terezi the last one to Keiji. Terezi knelt down and leaned over Keiji with her face right over his. She tried to kiss him but her thoughts kept interrupting her so she leaned back to clear her head.

_I am so mad at you. When it was just John it was easier. I would have become his kismesis but with you, all of you now, I don't want that......Geez I wonder what you would think. I am probably just being stupid but you know I use to love candy red but lately......I have been interested in cotton candy blue......Please wake up.....I think I like you....._

 

As if invigorated by some unknown force she leaned forward him and gave Keiji a soft kiss with a slight hint of want. A want for more. She looked towards his eyes. They were done and now he just needed to wake up.

They waited a few minutes. 

He didn't wake up...

Terezi grabbed his shoulders. “WAKE UP ASSHOLE!!!” And she shook him hard. After a few heavy shakes she let go and he plopped on the ground 

“EEEEEEAUUUGHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.”

The girls turned to see the sphere was gone and what was left in its place was a very angry Insanity screaming in pain. 

The girls turned back to Keiji yelling at him to wake up. Rose and Terezi were almost in tears because they thought it was all over. They were scared but then something mysterious happened.

They blinked...and Keiji was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji takes on the Creeping Insanity. But not without a bit of smack talk first.

# Chapter 18: Clash - Keiji Leon Haku vs. Creeping Insanity

Scattered throughout the battlefield was looks of astonishment. Rose broke the horrifying science.

“No...” her voice was shaky and she was barely able to stand, “we didn't...We couldn't have failed!” Her eyes started to water but she did nothing to stop it. At this point Seeth spoke. 

“Stay. Calm.” Seeth sighed and rubbed her temple. She took a second to look around before speaking once more, “Alright asshole are you fully awake?”

Silence. The silence sat like a fog choking everyone before a familiar voice cut through it.

“Holy shit woman, I just. Woke. Up.”

“Don't get lippy with me, the only reason I am not down your throat is because this is the first time you have slept in nearly 2 years.”

“Suuuure, we both know the real reason.”

“Oh my god do not say it.”

“Iiiiiiiittssssssss.”

“Don't.”

“Beeecaauuuuussseeee.”

“I swear to Orina...”

“Iiiiiiiiii'mmmmmmm”

“UGH!!!”

Out of the middle of everyone a familiar person jumped into the air pumping his fist.

“AWEEESSSOOMMMMEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Seeth's palm hit her face so hard it was heard everywhere in the Strataverse.

Face Palm count.......KEIJI :

Everyone's eyes darted to the young man hopping in joy. He was dressed in a white unbottoned shirt with light blue designs that seemed to glow. He had a black shirt underneath and black pants with a chain hanging off the pockets. 

They blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Keiji looked around. He noticed the many eyes that settled upon him and took the opportunity to dramatically announce himself once more.

“Im back bitches!!!”

Terezi moved first over to Keiji. She walked slowly, or more like wobbled. She stopped dead in front of him and took off her glasses, possibly for the moment. Keiji looked into her eyes and titled his head slightly seemingly confused by her approach. He then noticed slight tears forming.

“I...m soori...” Her voice was shaky and you could tell there was sadness to it. Keiji scratched his head and then his eyes lit up.

He reached his hand out and wiped the forming tears away and proceeded to ruffle her hair. Her look went from sad to confused and in awe. 

“Don't worry, its all gooood!”

“.....”

“What?”

“You're a dork.”

“But I'm like that dork that's a badass. Dorkzilla, its the fuckin dorkpocalypse” Terezi started to chuckle at Keiji's comment and then started laughing hard. She put her hands over her mouth and almost keeled over except she grabbed Keiji's shoulder for support. Keiji let her go on her laughing fit and peered around, his eyes landing on Mira.

“Oh sup Mira.” Mira walked over to Keiji to get a closer look at him.

“Not much dawg.”

“Oh we're goin gangsta now?”

“I would prefer Himalayan mountain sage but gangsta will do.”

“Seriously? You know what I wanna Swedish yodel band now.”

“Aww that sounds boring.”

“Speaking of boring, no James?”

“OH SHIT!!!! I knew I forgot something.”

“He's gonna be pissed hahahahaha!!!”

“This conversation was really all about that, wasn't it?”

“Hehehehe.”

Seeth finally made her way over and punched Keiji right on the head. Keiji stood their unmoved by the punch and seemingly as giddy as before.

“I am so FUCKING MAD AT YOU!!!” Seeth screamed in his right ear as loud as she could. She was in tears and and punching him in the arm repeatedly. “Why...why didn't you let me help you?”

Keiji continued smiling and gave Seeth a hug that lifted her off the ground and then he flung her around while still holding her.

“Dun worry Seeth, Imma sorry. Next time you can be my wingman.” Seeth's eyes looked like they were filled with rage but it vanished. She let out a small sigh and chuckled a bit.

“I'm glad you're back, please don't go again. Or I'm gonna have to kick your ass.”

“yea yea.” Keiji looked around at everyone waving and shouting “SUP BITCHES!!!” at the top of his lungs. Dave, Rose and Jade made their way over to him. Giving him a hug each and Dave making comments about how he looked like Sleeping Beauty and Keiji telling him that he was the “sexiest sleeping beauty.” Rose and Jade laughed and cut in every once in a while to make cracks at Dave and sometimes Keiji although Keiji usually rolled with it or just made things worse on purpose.

“So anyone notice that the big black bastard hasn't attacked us in a while?” pointed out Karkat.

“Oooooh yeah that guy, I froze his ass in time. Figured I'd deal with it later,” explained Keiji.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! WHY ARE WASTING TIME HERE”

“Cause.....meh....Fuck it.” Keiji walked away from everyone and stepped in front the Insanity who had been frozen in place. Keiji stood a good 50 feet way and snapped his fingers. The twisted shape and tentacles began moving instantaneously.

_“WELL IF IT ISN'T THE BIG BAD dRAGON, YOU READY TO GET FUCKED UP??!!!”_

“Fuck that I wanna know why the fuck you have tentacles. You into that super kinky shit????” 

_“KEEP MOCKING ME FUCKTARD, TODAY I EAT YOUR GUTS AND HEART HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”_

“Ok. Anyways. I'm gonna kick your ass now. Like really hard, prepare to eat dirt bitch. I wonder what dirt tastes like. Is there even dirt here? I mean this is like a qausi-dimentional space. Is dirt even a thing? Was it ever? What is dirt?..... One of life's greatest questions....”

“No it's not,” Kanaya commented. The Insanity could not take his bullshit anymore.

The Insanity leapt into action wailing loudly as it charged into Keiji. When it reached Keiji it had a hand extended that changed into a blade. The blade was a breath away from Keiji's face when it hit. A powerful force flung the Insanity thousands of feet away.

“Punishment bitch.”

Everyone's but Seeth's and Mira's, who were actually yawning, jaws dropped at the speed of light. Keiji's right hand and arm was extended out, up and to the right. He had bitched slap the Insanity. Bitch slapped. They knew this because Mira had broke out laughing about it saying “he got slapped like a bitch” in between her laughing fits.

Keiji held out his right hand for everyone to see. He pointed to the palm of his hand and said, “Discipline.” He then flipped his hand over and pointed to the back of his hand and said, “Punishment.”

“Pfft hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha THE PIMPINATOR!!!!!!firaejowijfoieaoi, oh god that was awesome.” Mira barely managed to speak through her laughing fits.

“Ok I should probably take this seriously now.....but its so freakin hard!!!!!!!!” Keiji mentioned. Mira gradually returned back from her laughing fit and nodded. She moved towards the Insanity that crept up closer a good 50 feet from Keiji again. She stopped in between the two and moved off to Keiji's left. She spoke with firmness, “Alright you know the drill. This is a Clash. A no-holds beatdown. It's either death or surrender. We don't care what you do at all. Just remember once it starts there is no going back for either of you. The Clash goes until one side is defeated. When both of you are ready we can begin.”

_“HMM FINE I'LL DO YOUR PATHETIC COMPETITION. AT LEAST NOW NO ONE CAN INTERRUPT US WHEN I FINALLY KILL YOU.”_

Keiji stayed silent for a good minute or so before speaking.

“Ok no lie, you are a bitch. Like a super bitch. Like if there was such a thing as bitch particles that's pretty much all your made of.”

Several people laughed a bit especially Dave who actually began to clap. However Rose had managed her way over to Seeth and began questioning her.

“Does he always do this in a life or death situation?”

Seeth chuckled a bit and smiled brightly, “Oh my ALWAYS. It's actually pretty funny because sometimes he goes into these monologues that drive his opponent bonkers which is kind of funny considering that Keiji is actually slightly bonkers himself.....well maybe not slightly......more.....a lot more. Like actually bonkers, not just some term passed around. You don't really go through everything he's gone through and come out completely sane. Its not bad though. Builds character as he puts it.”

Rose contemplated Seeth's words and formed her next question, “Will he always be like that? I mean part of him that remains for all intent and purposes 'screwy'. Don't get me wrong I don't mind in fact I quite like it this way but what about him? Does he mind being a tad insane?”

Seeth smiled right on through Rose's words and without hesitation replied, “He likes it. It's not so overpowering we would need to lock him up or anything but its just enough that he can feel free. Sometimes you have to be a little crazy to be really amazing. Plus I am also 100 percent sure he was always just a tad gone in the noggin. Personally if he started acting normal I would get upset, and it wouldn't just be me. Loads of people look up to him and his craziness. Just don't let him start ranting about sandwiches. Seriously, the last time he went on a rant about it he was trying to convince the Chief that we needed a Sandwich Saturday.”

Rose grabbed her sides and started laughing. “Well now how did that little scenario turn out?”

“Oh he won. I don't know how but he can be very persuasive when he wants to. He once convinced Mira to buy a moon. An entire moon. She was so confused, didn't really understand what happened till she looked at the deed for the moon. He, of course, laughed it up. She eventually got over it and named the moon Dumbassia saying it was inspired by Keiji. He took it as a compliment.”

“The three of you seem to have quite a bit of fun....By the way they haven't started yet. Is Keiji possibly scared?”

“Oh no. You might not be able to hear it but Keiji is talking as much shit as possible.”

“As a means of intimidation?”

“Nah he just wants to be a dick. Listen really carefullly....”

Rose listened as hard as she could trying to hone in on Keiji and the Insanity. Eventually she began to hear an excited Keiji blasting insult after insult at the Insanity all while Mira is dying laughing off to the side.

“And what the fuck is with the tentacles. Seriously you into some kinky shit. Why not blades?!?!? Or guns? Or anything that wasn't tentacles? Are you even gonna buy me dinner? No you're not. Cause you're a dick. And dicks don't buy people anything. Except maybe more dicks. There's a lot of dicks in this equation. Not including mine. You can't handle this dick!!!!”

_“YOU FUCKING BRAT!!!!”_

“Hey watch you're language mister....maam? Do you even have genetalia? You know what don't answer that, knowing you it's probably like 50 tentacles. I'll call you Douchinski. Private Douchinski! Front and motherfucking center!!”

_“IN TWO MORE MINUTES IM GONNA DESTROY YOU.”_

“Bring it bitch. Im the mothafuckin Mad Hatter with Mad Swagger.”

_“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!?!?!?!”_

“Means you a bitch.”

_“AEHGIUAEWJVONEFWOIDNVFSO YOU ARE FUCKING INSUFFERABLE!!!!!!”_

“You wanna know what I am?”

_“WHAT!?”_

“Soft and plush. Like a fuckin panda bitch. Hug me. Cuddle me. Just don't stick me in the dryer I hate that shit. Air dry dammit. Get a little febreeze and then leave me out in the sun al day. You'll need some industrial size clothes pins but by god it'll be worth it. Take me back in and snuggle the hell out of me once more.”

_“ONE. MORE. MINUTE.”_

“Till I bring the paiiiin. Or till lunch time. Fuck this I want food. Lemonade. I want gogdamn lemonade. When life gives you lemons, make the best damn lemonade. And don't. Fucking. Share. That's my lemonade. I slaved over a hot stove to make that sweet, sweet nectar.......Stop lookin at me I don't wanna sprout any kinky tentacles.”

_“YOU LITTLE FUCKING PRICK, I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT.”_

“Only if you grill it. Saute up some onions. Add mushrooms. Fuck I want ribs. Fuck I want lemonade. Fuck....I. Want. To. DANCE! Get down with my bad self. Have you ever seen an octopus dance? Neither have I. Dance you sonna bitch. Dance like your frivolous Gods had commanded it. And when you're done? MAKE ME A SANDWICH.”

Rose commented on Keiji's inane speakings, “Why does seems to speak nonsense every so often? I understand he's a tad gone in the head but this seems.....different. At least some of it has a different feel.”

Seeth gave her best reply, “I think he does it to vent. He's probably really pissed off. This thing has been ruining his life for the last 2 years. It has worn him out. He's just unleashing all he has into ramblings of any kind.”

“Alright gentleman the clash will begin in 5...4...3...2...1....CLASH!” Mira called out interrupting Keiji's asinine ramblings. 

CLASH! Keiji Leon Haku vs. The Creeping Insanity. 

Begin.

 

The Insanity lunged at Keiji closing the gap almost instantly. Once it reached Keiji it launched a flurry of punches intertwining them with lancing tentacles. Keiji moved to dodge all of them at near light speed. Keiji ducked under the Insanity's attacks and drove up with an electrified uppercut launching the Insanity into the air.

 

Once the Insanity reached the highest point before it started falling again, Keiji teleported and seemingly launched several punches at the exact same time everywhere on the Insanity. It slammed back down hard onto the ground creating an electric shock wave that spread out 30 feet.

Keiji landed about 20 feet away from the Insanity. It stood back up and went to charge up for another attack but a blast a force knocked its head up and to the right. Another blast of force knocked it down and to the left. More consecutive blasts of force and pressure began barraging the Insanity. Keiji was moving so fast that his hits took a few seconds to register in time. Keiji quickly stopped time teleporting in several places leaving behind afterimages that fired multiple blasts of an odd electricity that seemed to glow a brighter blue than normal. Keiji unfroze time and all the blasts hit at exactly the same time. The blast that hit the Insanity shone bright on the battlefield. The shockwave formed a blast sphere that crept closer to Keiji.

Before the blast could touch Keiji, he fired a massive beam of energy from his right palm that covered over the blast completely washing over the side of the battlefield that contained the Insanity.

Once the blast cleared the Insanity was deformed. It quickly regained its footing. It sucked in its stomach and held it for a few seconds before blowing outwards a giant massive black laser that was even bigger than the beam Keiji fired.

 

It was closing in fast but Keiji had a plan. Had a trick up his sleeve.

He held his right hand up and in an instant the black beam was swallowed by a line. Keiji used his Ark Splice to create a line singularity that ate the black beam. Shit was getting serious.

The Insanity began a more vicious assault on Keiji upon realizing what he was doing. It lodged its hands into the ground and giant tentacles leapt out of the ground at Keiji but blades of the same odd electricity erupted from the tops of Keiji's hands. He, with precision and speed, sliced up the tentacles. He thought it was pretty damn cliché with the lances/tentacles shooting out of the ground. It was done in Resident Evil 5. Fuckin cliches...

Keiji dashed forward moving slightly slow but only so he could slash at the incoming tentacles. Each slash creating waves of energy towards the Insanity. It dodged most of them but every few waves one of them hit the Insanity knocking it back and almost tearing off its limbs. Keiji finally reached the Insanity who tried to strike a mighty blow to Keiji's head only to be met with a barrage of strikes, kicks and slashes that dismembered the Insanity. Before it could regenerate Keiji retracted his blades and punched the pieces knocking them faraway.

Keiji took a moment to regain his composure. He didn't need a strategy, he had one. He was merely biding his time. More or less to put on a show. He used the intermission to take a look around at his friends. He didn't notice a single one of them that didn't have their jaw dropped. He looked over to Mira who was flipping him off so he flipped her off and of course this started a flip off war between the two on who could come up with the funniest way to flip the other off. Mira won when she managed to do a “Force” flip off, imitating the Jedi Force to lift her middle finger up taking time to struggle to lift it only to end it with a full bird.

Keiji looked over to the 5 girls. His expression was untelling but his thoughts were on what happened while he was asleep. He began to blush about it before turning his attention back to the Insanity that was charging at him. Keiji caught its head in his right hand and chucked him as far as possible away as he could. Keiji charged a ball of electricity in his left hand and launched it high speed at the Insanity. When it hit a giant blast of energy enveloped and then a vortext appeared sucking in the blast. The vortex dissipated and exploded blast the Insanity into pieces once more. 

The Insanity put its self back together and this time it looked furious. Its face was filled with disgust and hatred. It let out a blood curdling scream and instead of charging at Keiji it launched it tentacles once more except this time there was something different. There was many of them, too many.

Keiji couldn't dodge them. 

The tentacles hit Keiji wrapping him in the tentacles. After a couple minutes he was completely wrapped up in the tentacles.

Everyone's, except Seeth and Mira's, faces looked horrified. This was it. It got him. The Insanity caught him again and this time it wasn't letting him out. It won......At least they thought it did.

A low rumbling came over the battlefield. The space they were in started to shake. Sparks began to appear around the tentacles and just as it all started....it stopped.

Everyone looked around trying to figure out what was going on but their focus landed on Keiji. He was still wrapped in tentacles. The tentacles were vibrating, shaking violenty.

With a force to scare anyone the tentacles exploded, more like vibrated so hard they broke down into dust.

A silence claimed the battlefield. Hushed electricity danced where the tentacles were and it there place stood someone, something that shocked everyone.

A young man. A black long coat. Glowing horns of light. Tanned skin. Black marks and scale plates everywhere. Glowing white eyes with blue irises. 

Keiji had changed. Transformed. Became.

_“THE FIRST DRAGON...”_

The First Dragon. Supposedly the first Dragonine. That's who he was. At times he could change into a mighty black dragon the size of a galaxy. However, he found a new way. A way to compress that form into a smaller self. 

Full Dragon Form Compressed.

“You know. I haven't changed like this in a long time. Guess I needed some sleep......” Keiji stopped talking to stare down the Insanity that actually looked frightened. Scared to death. 

Death. It was a real possibility for it now. Looking into the haunting eyes of the First Dragon was like watching the end.

But something more horrifying to the Insanity was waiting, boiling over. Before it could register Keiji flicked his left hand. The floor around them began to glow white slightly. 

Seeth and Mira smirked however only Seeth spoke, “Proving Grounds.”

Dave looked over to Seeth with a confused look still full of shock and inquired as to what Seeth said, “What the fuck is that?”

“It's an exotic ability, a very special one. It renders all abilities, techniques and powers void and useless. It creates a space where the only thing that works are exotic abilites and physical strength. Some believe its a testament to the Dragonine's honor in combat. They would never kick a down opponent and they would never fight on unequal grounds. Keiji reinforced that with the birth of Proving Grounds. Personally, I love this one. Its definitely not his most powerful. No I won't tell you about that one just yet. Besides that one you have to actuallly see....no, feel.” Seeth stopped talking when she caught Keiji sticking his tongue out at her, probably for interrupting his attempted moment of awesomeness.

Everyone's focus returned to Keiji who was only talking to the Insanity.

“Still not getting it huh? You. Is. A. Bitch.”

_“I DONT GIVE A DAMN YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT. ILL EAT YOUR FUCKIN HEART AND SOUL.”_

“At least buy me dinner first. You don't need food though you're gonna eat me, you kinky bastard.”

_“fuuucUUUUCUCJIEWORJARFWJOJAOIRFNWROBGNAR;ONRGEIONOE”_

_“I. WILL. KILL YOU!!!!”_

“Dude, I am sorry like really sorry. I just couldn't find it in my heart.”

_“FIND WHAT YOU FUCKER?!?!?!?!”_

“The fuck that you want me to give.”

All the jaws dropped. Even the Insanity's.

_“WHAT?”_

“Like I said I just don't have any fucks to give. Hell I checked my wallet and my bank account. I've even searched ruins and planets. Been to the farthest reaches of the Strataverse. Peered into the endless void. Walked through the infinite Shores of Time. And I just couldn't find any. There's just no fucks for me to give. But you know what there is something very, extremely, MONUMENTALLY important I can tell you.”

The Insanity was steaming at the head from Keiji's rant but it still mustered a reply through all it's bloody hatred, _“AND WHAT THE FUCK! WOULD THAT BE?”_

“You still a bitch.” Keiji smirked and then gave the largest grin upon the Insanity.

In an instant all of its rage snapped and with all the power the Insanity could summon up and all its hatred it fired a blast of energy that enough to envelope a universe. It plowed forward right towards the First Dragon. 

As soo as the blast fired though it stopped and disintegrated.

“Proving Grounds......Bitch” Keiji was grinning large still knowing it was over. 

He held out his right hand, pointing it right at the Insanity.

_“WAIT FUCK STOP I GIVE U-”_

“Splice.”

A small singularity formed inside the Insanity. In a flurry of lights and a small black dot, the sound of bones breaking and flesh ripping apart could be heard. But as it started, in a mere fraction of a second, it was over and the Insanity, gone.

Another silence fell on the battlefield only to have it broken after a few minutes by Mira.

“woo yay the winner is Keiji,” Mira spoke in the most bored tone possible as if the entire battle was mundane. Really she just wanted to fuck with Keiji but he was distracted by his friends who he insta-stepped over to. Mira pouted and crossed her arms but made her way over nonetheless.

“So whatd yall think?”

“...” None of them could speak or didn't know what to say. For some reason though Rose and Terezi did find something to say.

“Well now, that was rather enlightening. I guess weak punch was an understatement yes?”

“Oh I was holding back. I didn't want to break the space plus I wanted to make sure it died so the other one could come back?”

Terezi gave her usual/unsual ? Face, “What the hell do you mean 'other one'?

“Oh him.” Keiji pointed behind Terezi. Behind her stood what looked like the Insanity except it was all white instead of black and it's eyes were pitch black.

Terezi jumped back into Keiji. Keiji's eyes managed to wander on down Terezi to her double D's. When Terezi looked up at Keiji she sniffed and, without needing to taste, managed to trace his eyes to her breasts. He realized it and quickly turned away. She grinned and chuckled. 

“Well ahem, he is my crazy bit. He's an actual part of me. Don't worry he doesn't bite. Fuck you can even talk shit to him, just don't expect what he says back to make sense.”

Rose pondered a few thoughts and turned to the white body, “My name is Rose, what is yours.”

“....”

“Hmm, what do you like?”

“.....”

“Alright, can you tell us how you are feeling?”

“...”

Rose was unsure what she was doing wrong but considered that maybe a special sort of help was necessary. She waved over Dave and Karkat. Kanaya came to stand next to her matesprit but she merely watched Keiji blushing every now and then he would turn to look at her and smile. Eventually Rose joined in on the same activity as Kanaya. Roxy, Dirk, Jake, and Jane walked up to Keiji to ask him some questions with Roxy asking the most. During most of this Terezi never moved away from Keiji.

Dave started communicating to the white colored Insanity, “Dude do you have tentacles as well?”

_“....does pie count?”_ Its voice was soft but strong.

“O-k don't really know what that has to do with it but whatever. You got a name?”

_“what does that taste like?”_

Karkat jumped in, “NAMES DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TASTE DUMBASS.”

_“ooooo call me senior sass!”_

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!”

_“i thought we were out of fucks...”_

“Nah dude we found a few lying around.”

_“oh my gooooooood I want onnneeeee. ”_

“That's like 50 dollars dude.”

_“ill give you a chicken that knows kung fu!!”_

“DEAL”

“Deal”

Karkat, Dave and Sass continued to chat for a while. 

Keiji watched everyone chat with each other. The other trolls walked up to them. Most of them went to chat with Sass. Feferi and Tavros came to chat with Keiji. Vriska jumped into the middle of them all grabbing Keiji's left arm since Terezi was hooked around the right one. Feferi unleashed a monumental barrage of questions. 

 

The space began to dissipate. The lot of them looked concerned. Keiji assured them it was all going to be ok.

“Don't worry we all will wake up right in the cafe. Everything will be normal. Ill see you all on the other side.” Keiji waved and like that they all woke up from their slumbers.

 

Back in the cafe everyone woke up. Mira, who snuck into their little slumber party was camped inbetween Seeth and Keiji. Once everyone woke up she waved and went around the table to greet everyone. High fives were shared all around. They all got up because they wanted to high five the star of the show himself but he wasn't there.

Seeth spoke softly, “Don't worry he probably went out to get some air. If you want to find him just let your instincts guide you.” She smiled and wandered out of the cafe with Mira.

 

They sat up and figured it was time to find him........their little dragon.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little closing for the Creeping Insanity Ark. Would have put it in chapter 19 but that was already 4500 words. Wanted to kinda separate the closing from the climax. This chapter was actually inspired from the song Broken Arrows by Avici. Give it a look up
> 
> Screw it here's a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip4Q1pbrYDg

# Chapter 19: A Chat With John. 

Everyone left the cafe at a quick pace and made their way to the fountain. They stopped to ponder where Keiji could have gone with some ideas tossed around here and there.

“Well what do we know about Keiji? Not just John but Keiji as well?” inquired Rose. Sollux, who was standing right next to her, responded slowly trying to piece together an idea.

“He can be thubborn. He likes thupid jokes. And Mountain Dew....but none of that really gives us any clue..ugh.” Sollux scratched his head trying to figure something, anything out.

Kanaya stepped in front of everyone with a quick step as if she had discovered something amazing.

“Maybe We Should Focus On John As Well. John Liked Flying Right?” Rose nodded, contemplating a few thoughts on the matter before one struck in her head that stuck out like a sore thumb. Of course at the same exact time Terezi thought of the same thing.

"W3LL K3IJI 1S A DRAG0N R1GHT? 0R AT L3AST S1M1LAR T0 0N3. DRAG0NS L1K3 T0 FLY. A L0T. J0HN L1K3D T0 FLY AS W3LL. 1 B3L13V3 J0HN T00K A L1K1NG T0 TH3 CR3ST C0V3 BU1LD1NG. THAT W0ULD B3 A G00D PLAC3 T0 START.”

They all nodded in agreement and headed off into town.

 

Keiji had found his way to the Crest Cove building's roof. He sat down on the ledge of building.

“Damn this place is high. Kinda awesome.”

_Hey dude._

“Kinda hungry at the moment.”

_Can you hear me?_

“Im thinkin ribs. Gog I love me some ribs.

_Dude seriously I know you can hear me?_

“Oh my gog John what!?”

_Oh I just wanted to chat before I fully squished back into you. Or melded as we prefer. That is an awesome word._

“Haha it is isn't it? So what did you want to talk about?”

_Just kinda been wondering some things. Been lookin through our past. Kinda horrible but great too. We seriously dropped a moon on a spaceship?_

“Yeah but what can you do? And yeah we did, it was awesome”

_I was wondering, if we have such amazing and awesome time powers how come we can't just go back and change it all._

“Because we can't.”

_Can't or don't want to?_

“Can't. Funny actually”

_Yeah, not really getting the joke dude._

“Think about it. All these amazing powers but I can't change my own terrible history? Kind of a joke.”

_Yeah but then we wouldn't have met Dave, Rose, Jade and the all the trolls too._

“That's true”

_So, what do we do now?_

“That's a good question.”

_Heal the heart?_

“Maybe one day, I can't do it myself it seems.”

“Jade saved our body from vanishing. And everyone saved my mind from being torn apart.”

_There's always Tomorrow?_

“Seriously? Haha. Throwing that cheap line at me."

_And?_

“What can I say? You're right...We're right.”

_Yep, so, again, what now?_

“Keep going. There's always another adventure. Another soul that needs help. Another's freedom being stripped.”

_And we'll be there to kick the bad guy's asses?_

“Damn straight.”

_Because_

“Because”

_“I will never give up, I'll never back down. I'll fight forever.”_

 

_“Forward unto Tomorrow.”_

 

Everyone finally reached the building and started making their way up the building via stairs. For some odd reason everyone managed to not be in each other's way. Roxy, Vriska, Rose, Kanaya and Terezi were at the front of the group with Dave and Karkat leading them all. They barge through the roof's door to find Keiji standing on the ledge, hands in his jacket pockets, watching the city/town.

“You know if you stand in the right spot you can see straight through the entire town.” Dave walked up to Keiji upon hearing his words, half concerned and half in wonder. What made Dave wonder was Keiji. Not his words but his entire existence. He wanted to know more.

“You wanna step off that ledge dude?” Dave beckoned Keiji to get off the ledge but Keiji laughed knowing a few things that made it all ok.

“Dude you know I'm a real immortal right? And I'm pretty indestructible. Hell I stop aging when I reach 26.”

 

“Wow its surprising how much I am not surprised by that dude. Although good little insurance you won't be kicking the can anytime soon. Now you can listen to all my rants any time of the day.”

“Oh that sounds amazingly joyous, you forgot the part where I manage to out-rant you, and prank you from the sheer awesomeness that is moi. That's french for me....or maybe french for pie. Either way works.”

“Not really Dorku.”

“Oh my gog, finding terrible nicknames for me already haha.”

“Oh I was just waiting to use that.”

Everyone laughed a bit at their exchange and walked up to the ledge to get a better view of the city. Dave pondered once more about all the questions he wanted to ask but decided that, in time, Keiji would tell him everything.

 

An hour passed and the sun began to set. Everyone was about ready to leave but in the midst of the silence two words rang from the mouth of the young man overlooking the city. They were quiet and needed no reply but they were heard by all of them nonetheless.

 

“Thank you....”

 

(Next few chapters will get into the psuedo-harem thing. But I won't spoil details. Might seem like a harem for a while but hehe its like a transformer, more than meets the eye.)

 

(No they are not transformers though. Thatd be fuckin awesome though!!!)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay a new ark! It's gonna be a short one.
> 
> This chapter is mostly introductions and stuff.

# Chapter 20: I am not a DAD!

“WA1T WHAT?!”

“Yeah I kinda gotta go back for a bit to the hub..”

“WHAT THE FUCK!?!?”

“That's like you're catchphrase Karkat.”

“Dude, bro, what the hell?!”

“Dave chill, its only 4 fucking days.”

“Are You Going To Be Okay?”

“Yes Kanaya, its just to take care of some paperwork and to give them my report on a few things. Plus they're gonna want to do like a check up. Probably gonna like not do that though. Sounds like bullshit to me.”

“Keiji.”

“Yeeeees Rose?”

“Do not avoid your checkup. I won't pretend to know the biology of your people but a check up for any being is still helpful. I _urge_ you to do it,” Rose's words said suggestion but her vivid purple eyes said “Do it or else.”

Keiji flinched a bit. “Alrighty, I'll go. But we're having a cookout when I get back.”

“Thounds awesome.”

“Sweeeeeeet”

“FUCK IT WHY NOT?”

Keiji and the gang chatted some more in the cafe only half an hour till Keiji, Mira and one other jumped to the hub. They installed a gate in the park just for that. It could go other places but they only programmed the hub for now.

 

“Takin Jade.”

Keiji's words rung throughout the cafe. Dave was the first to retaliate.

“Dude what the fuck, what about us?”

“I'll take yall later. Besides Jade has to fill out some forms being related to me and all.”

“What about your Dad? And what kinda bullshit is that? Forms? Dude that's like the most uncool thing ever. Why can we not go?” Keiji cringed at Dave's question. He was really hoping no one would ask that question. But he knew. He knew Dave and Karkat wanted to do some bro-nding. He was never going to get out of this without being questioned by one of the two.

“Ugh fuck fine. Jade is mandatory. As for why none of you can come, well I will be busy with something kinda big. I can't tell any of you yet because its confidential at the moment. Plus I don't need you guys freaking out.”

“WHY THE HELL WOULD WE FREAKOUT? HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHIT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH? AND THE FUCKING CREEPER? SERIOUSLY I THINK WE CAN HANDLE WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU GOT.”

Keiji sighed deeply and moved so he could face everyone. His eyes looked upon everyone with a sudden pressure.

“Karkat, there are enemies out their that are so much worse than the Insanity. One I might not even be able to handle yet.” Keiji looked around at everyone. Some of them looked a bit upset at the prospect of Keiji just pushing them aside because they couldn't handle his world, his life.

“Look, I'm sorry. What I am trying to say his, I have been at this for a long time and there are so many things you guys don't know yet. I would like to just take it slow. I'll tell you everything in time. But for now just soak up what you got. And you know...”

Terezi walked up to Keiji giving him a sympathetic look. “Y0U KN0W 1TS 0K 1F Y0U D0N'T WANT T0 SAY.”

“Well.....I want ribs. Like seriously. I've wanted ribs forever. But of course they don't sell ribs to any place I've gone. Fuckin assholes. Why would they deny the glory that is ribs!? Only thing better is if it was a rib sandwich.” 

Terezi tried to resist laughing at the moron in front of her begging for ribs. She was pleased to see it wasn't something serious on his mind.

“F1NE.”

“Wha?”

“W3 CAN WA1T T1LL Y0U TH1NK W3 AR3 R3ADY.”

“Oh sweet. I assure you its not too far off in the future just let me get everything organized first.”

Everyone, satisfied with his answer, nodded in agreement.

 

 

2 hours later Keiji, Jade and Mira stood in the park next to the Gate. The Gate was a small floating orb of energy that seemed to float in place. They waved goodbye to everyone while Keiji punched in the coordinates to the Hub on the console next to the Gate. A whip of energy hit the 3 of them pulling them through the gate.

 

In mere seconds they were in the Hub.

If Jade's jaw could drop anymore it would need to be mopped up off the floor. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was a giant city covered in white and blue lights. but walled off by darkness. 

“It's inside a moon.”

Jade looked to Keiji to see him pointing at the darkness surrounding the city.

“This is a giant cavern.”

“Wow, this place is pretty damn amazing!”

“Maybe.”

“Well you've been here for what like 2 years? You're just used to it.”

“Actually wasn't really amazed when I got here.” Mira scoffed at what Keiji said and then sighed.

“He's....ugh kinda knowledgeable about the old ways. Specifically that this place isn't the original headquarters.”

“Whoa really? This place seems pretty cool though.”

“Well when I delved into the Old Texts I discovered possible locations for the headquarters. Problem is, it was hidden. And unfortunately where and how it was hidden was not mentioned. Probably something that you had to learn on your own.”

Mira does a 360 turn and notices a fellow in a long brown coat. The man had pressed down short brown hair and, oddly enough, pink eyes. Like hot pink. He began dashing to the 3 of them.

Keiji stepped in front of the 2 and held up his thumb. He closed one eye as if getting ready to take a long shot. He put his thumb down and winded up a fist like a cartoon. Once the man reached them Keiji punched him right in the stomach launching him into the air and far away.

“Whew, Imma let you deal with that Mira.”

“Wow seriously, you dick.”

“Yeah Bro that's not cool to just punc-”

“I wanted to punch him!”

“You were too slow. Annnnnnnd you're problem now” Keiji grabbed Jade's hand, who was still stunned by the exchange between Keiji and Mira, and walked away from Mira towards a large building shaped slightly like a diamond . 

“You know by the end of this entire vacation I am going to have drained myself of all wow's hehe.” Jade chuckled at her words and the prospect of being blown away by all the sights and attractions of the Hub.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a slight sensation on her cheek. Keiji had been poking her for the last few minutes.

“We're here. We've been here for like forever. Getcha damn head out of clouds. Or im gonna poke you're cheeks off.”

“Jegus chill the fuck out.”

“No lets go dammit.” Keiji grabbed Jade's arm and pulled her into the building.

“What even is this place?!” 

“It's the administration building. We're going to meet the chief.”

They entered the building. There were paintings everywhere. It was like a giant lobby. In the center of said lobby was a round desk with a single woman sitting behind it fiddling with papers. She was wearing a blue and white uniform. She had When Keiji stepped inside she put down the papers to look up and greet the two people that entered.

“Hello sir how may I-” Once she focused on who entered her her straight face vanished and was replaced by a twinkle and bright, giant open mouthed smile.

“KEIJI!”

“Oh boy”

“Ahem Master Keiji you have returned!”

“Relax Naeya. Hows it goin?”

“Sorry sorry!! It's just been so long since you've been down. I heard about some things. We were worried.”

“Its all good.”

“Oh did you by chance run into James when you returned?”

“Yep.”

“Judging by his lack of presence I am going to assume you flicked him didn't you?”

“Well see, he was there annnnnd then he wasn't. Coulda been me. It's hard to tell.”

“Sure haha. Oh um the chief and the girls are in her office if you would like to....” Naeya stopped talking when Jade caught her attention. “Um who are you?”

“My name is Jade. I'm his sister? It's a long story.”

“Ok”

“Wait that's it? No inquiry further into our situation?”

“Miss....?”

“Harley”

“Miss Harley, stranger things have happened. Especially where Keiji is involved. Wait till you meet the girls.”

“Like girlfriends?” Jade looked over to Keiji who was had his head cupped in his hands.

“Hahahahahaha”

“What? What's so funny?”

Keiji spoke through his hands, “Jade that is so wrong!!!!”

“What the hell are you talking about???”

“The chief is waiting.”

Keiji grabbed Jade's arm again and 'dragged' her towards the back of the building stomping his feet as he went. They reached a set of silverish double doors. Keiji pushed them open revealing a giant, round white room with a rounded screen on one side, a square desk to the back, a couple plants on the sides of the desk and two couches in front of the desk.

Behind the desk was a tall woman with short silver hair. She was looking down and seemed to be writing something down. She was wearing a military-looking coat except it was white and had a few accolades on her shoulder and chest. On the couch were two young girls. One was wearing a white sundress with black frills. She had long white hair and blue eyes like Keiji. The other girl was wearing a white sun hat and a long white trench coat with black trim. The sclera in her eyes was actually purple and her irises were light blue. The trench coat stuck up above her mouth covering it up.

The girl in the sundress looked over to Keiji and Jade. Her face and smile were so amazingly bright upon seeing them you would swear it was Super Christmas. The tall woman and the other girl looked up too but before they could react the girl in the sundress was making a mad dash for Keiji and Jade.

Keiji stood, prepared ready for the take down. With a force rivaling a tank the young girl glomped the hell out of Keiji. 

“FATHER!!!!!!” At the sound of the word the girl spewed out Jade's jaw promptly dropped only to return back to position to inquire as to the current situation in a cool and collected fashion.

“HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE A DAD?????!!!!!”

Keiji tried to speak through the hair of the girl that tackled him, “mmmfmfmmf mfmfm mmmmfmffm pbbft,” Keiji coughed slightly removing the last strands of hair from his face. “I was trying to say... no. No I am not.”

“But she just-”

“I am their caretaker, or guardian.”

“Is that the same damn thing!?” The girl finally managed to peel herself off of Keiji and stand up.

“Ahem, my lovely name is Dorothy.” Keiji sighed and began to talk.

“Yes her name is Dor-”

“And he is mostly definitely my father, don't care what he says.”

“Oh my god, go sit on the couch with your sister.”

“Fine Hmph.” Dorothy puffed her cheeks out and pouted while walking back to the couch and then plopping herself right down on it.

“This way Jade.” Keiji grabbed Jade's arm and pulled her gently up to the desk where the tall woman was now standing up in front of the desk. When Keiji approached he let go of Jade's arm and was greeted by an immense hug. The tall woman didn't let go for quite some time. Her smile looked worn and tired but happy nonetheless.

The woman pulled back and leaned against the desk. “It's good to see you Keiji. Are you doing well?”

“Why do you even ask that question? Like you already know. You're the damn chief. I would be surprised if you didn't.”

The chief turned towards Jade completely ignoring what Keiji had said. “You must be Jade Harley, correct?” Jade merely nodded at the tall woman. “I am Lena Tersov-Haku. I am chief of the Archons and your aunt.”

Jade's eyes grew bigger. “Wait what?”

“Yes my dear niece I am your aunt. I presume Keiji didn't tell you. He can be a bit of an ass about these things.”

“Why wouldn't you tell me Keiji?”

“Meh. Didn't feel like it.”

“See?” Jade face palmed herself at her brother's stupidity but for the most part she was happy her family was continuing to grow. On the island it was just her and Bec but now she had a cousin, a brother and an aunt.

“Oh we also have 3 other sisters and 3 other brothers.”

“Oh my gog!” Jade slapped Keiji in the back who stood there unaffected by it.

“Meh.”

“Anything else I should know?!”

“At the moment no. Later yes.”

“What does that even mean?!”

“Not telling,” Keiji quickly changed the conversation not giving Jade any time to react to his last response, “Anyways, I am absolutely sure you still have a big question you've been wanting to ask for the last few minutes.”

Like a light bulb flickering on in her head Jade remembered the question rummaging through her mind before she went into this long flood of bullcrap with Keiji.

“Oh yeah, um who's the mother?”

The chief cleared her throat, “I am their legal parent/guardian. As for their relation to Keiji it would easiest to say they are 'adopted.' Keiji found Dorothy in the snow abandoned and as for the girl sitting on the couch who has yet to introduce herself.......” Jade, Keiji and Lena turned to look at the girl sitting on the couch that had yet to speak. Jade smiled and walked up to her holding out her hand upon approach.

“Hi! My name is Jade and you can think of me as your Auntie!!” The girl merely stared at Jade until the point that Jade found it awkward. 

“Um...”

“She can't hear you,” Keiji exclaimed hastily.

“Oh I'll speak louder.” Jade turned away from Keiji and took a breath but before she could speak she was cut off by Keiji.

“No not you Jade.”

“Huh?”

Keiji sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Sayna, you need to be on the Omni Frequency. She can't hear you. And make sure you shorten the range to only this room.”

 

A couple minutes passed in silence before a voice resounded in everyone's head.

_Um hi. Can you hear me now?_

“Wait where is that coming from?” Jade looked everywhere around the room trying to pinpoint the source of the voice.

_Hello um auntie.._

Jade's attention stopped dead on the girl called Sayna. 

“Wha-”

“She's communicating telepathically. Her kind can speak telepathically on many different frequencies while we Dragonine can only communicate on all frequencies. She had to switch frequencies to something you could hear as well.”

“Oh.” Jade continued to watch Sayna. Her face was emotionless and unchanging.

_Oh hi! It's good to meet you auntie_

“Um...” Jade was confused. Sayna spoke affectionately but her face said something completely different. 

“Oh yeah that's right. Her kind can express emotion with their faces but if you watch her eyes carefully you can tell how she's feeling.”

Jade turned back to Sayna and decided to sit next to her to get a closer look at her. She watched her eyes as closely as possible. She noticed a small light at the top left corner of her eyes.

_Do you want to see my drawing?_

“Sure!” Jade noticed the little light start to glow a bit brighter and her eyes light up in general just a tiny bit more. She drew the conclusion that Sayna was happy. 

Sayna reached down under the couch and pulled out a sketchbook. She flipped to a page with what looked like Keiji and the 2 girls on either side. The sketch was a bit crude but Sayna looked like she was around 10 so it was pretty good for her age.

_This is me on the left and sissy on the right. In the middle is dad._

“Keiji right?”

“Oh my gosh I am not their dad.”

“Sure you're not.”

“Yes by the way, Sayna, Dorothy how are you're classes going?”

Dorothy looked down at her feet. “Um its ok.”

“You haven't done you're summer homework yet have you?”

“Maybe...”

_Um......_

Keiji growled a bit and in a low, commanding voice said, “Go to your rooms and finish your homework, or no ice cream tonight.”

The girls got up and walked out of the room slowly, their heads drooping down. They looked heartbroken.

Keiji watched for a second as they walked away slowly and eventually he just couldn't take it. 

“Uh alright c'mere.” Keiji held out his arms and knelt down. The girls turned to look at their “Dad” and their faces lit up brighter than an eclipse. They rushed right over to him landing right in between their arms. He gave them a tight hug and they hugged him back

The hug lasted a good few minutes before Keiji put the 2 girls down. They then happily skipped out the room and headed off to do their homework.

Jade thought to her self while watching, _oh yeah definitely a dad._

Keiji sighed expressively and sat down on the couch leaning his head back and relaxing.

“Don't get to comfy,” Lena mentioned, “I've got a quick mission for you little dragon.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a joke chapter than anything with some feels at the end.
> 
> I really want you to try and imagine what Keiji is saying at the end. Itll help make more sense.
> 
>  
> 
> BY the way you don't no it yet but the Chapter title is a pun. You'll have to read to understand.

#  Chapter 21: NO-ify Me If Anything Happens

“I'm sorry what?”

“I said I have a mission for you. You could take Jade along as well.”

“Oh my god it's one of those mission's isn't it?”

“Ah yes. Apparently so.”

Jade merely watched the exchange between Keiji and the chief finally butting in after realizing she was involved.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“A jester run.”

Jade gave Keiji a puzzled look. He knew it would be confusing. He liked confusing. Merely because he was an asshole.

“Seriously, gonna be a cryptic douche huh?”

“Is it working?”

“You know what I can figure it out myself.” Jade put her hand to her chin and began to think and contemplate on what a jester run would be.

“Well jester's are meant to tell jokes to the monarchs. If I were to guess it's a mission that is so bad its considered a joke.”

“DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!”

“Oh thanks asshole”

“Aww sis welcome to the family.” Keiji snickered a bit before it turned into a full blown laughter. The chief lowered her head and rubbed her temples, sighing in the process.

“I aplogize Miss Harley. As I said he can be a bit of an asshole.”

“Oh its no big deal, even as John he was a bit of an ass but I know he cares.” Keiji ignored that last bit or at least pretended to.

“SO whats the mission?”

The chief looked hesitant to give a reply. “Well see the mission is a strange one. There is apparently a vampire menace in the Relsfield Mverse, on the 23rd Hope Crescent planet.”

“Oh the place with the semi-human villagers that really like baths?”

“Yes.”

“Well if it's killing people and sucking their blood that's actually a major issue.”

“Well you see...”

“What?”

“How do I put this?”

“Just tell me already.”

“It's not killing people or sucking blood so much as flashing everyone it comes into contact with....”

“What.”

“Yes.”

“I'm sorry it sounded like some inane bullshit just flew through mah ears.”

“Ah yes.”

“Yes that's not a thing?”

“No, yes”

“So yes, I'm awesome?”

“Keiji....”

“....”

“Keiji...”

“No.”

“I'm sorry?”

“No.”

“Keiji.”

“No.”

“Keiji, please...”

“....”

“....”

“No. No nuh uh. Hell no. Fuck no. Nein. Niet. I will pull out all the damn no. I will create the ultimate NO weapon and NO-ify every mofo. There shall nigh be a fuckin yes ever again! Everyone's gonna be like 'Can I have a piece of candy?' 'No' 'Well can I not have a piece of candy?' 'Fuck no' You want something? Fuckin put a negative in that bitch! Fuck no. NO times negative infinity. No times negative negative negative infinity. Why not regular infinity you may ask? Because thatd be a fucking YES! We can't have that shit now can we? NO we can't! So I say NONONONONONONONONONO......NO”

“So yes?”

“Yep, I'm on it.”

Jade couldn't keep her astonishment contained but couldn't speak for the sheer levels of stupidity coming off her brother.

Both Jade and Keiji walked out of the room, Jade still stunned by the turn of events, and then out of the building entirely, waving good bye to Naeya on their way out.

Once they exited the building they noticed the black haired man approaching them again, stomping his feet on the ground and looking really pissed, in a sort of funny way.

The man finally reached Keiji, damn near pressing his face into Keiji's.

“Hey James, its been a while. I heard you went on a trip to the outer districts. How was the flight there?” A small smirk passed by Keiji's lips.

“You bastard. I landed in a fug patch. There were thorns! So many thorns! I think I had one in my ASS! Do you know what that's like?!”

“No and don't enlighten me. Please.”

“Its like that christian hell added another circle just for people to feel this most diabolical pain.”

“So a tenth circle of hell?”

“I thought their was only 6?”

“There's like 50.”

“Wow, didn't know that.”

“Yep one for each thorn in your ass.”

“YOU BASTARD IT WAS JUST ONE!”

“uh huh, that's what they all say”

“Who the hell else ever gets thorns in there ass!?”

“Speakin of ass and thorns where's Mira?”

“OH SHIT! I forgot she was trying to treat my wounds but....”

“But you were to embarassed to drop trough and let her patch up yer ass.”

“To put it bluntly yes.”

Keiji sighed and decided it was best to just walk away. So he did, with Jade in hand only to be stopped once more by James.

“Whoa whoa whoa who is this?”

“Hi! My name is Jade and I am Keiji's sister.”

“Huh no shit?”

“No shit.”

“That's cool. My name is James Rus'lev. I'm an Imarian. We're similar to you humans but we support bigger heights, more durability and a bad case of loss of attention. When we do focus though we can be pretty badass. I am also the Master Archon Guardian. We specialize in protection and defense.”

“Yeah James has taken on meteors the size of Jupiter.”

“Awww Keiji you don't need to flatt-”

“But he can't handle a girl lookin at his bare ass.”

“DAMMIT KEI we both know Mira can be pretty damn scary when she stares you down.”

“Who is scary?” Keiji and James turned around to find Mira standing behind them tapping her foot on the ground.

“Well?”

James was the first to speak, “Well Mira I was commenting on how amazingly scary in battle yo-”

“He said he thinks its scary when you look at his bare ass.” Keiji was the last to speak. Mira quickly grabbed James by the neck and dragged him away. 

“You need to be treated. Lets go dumbass.” And like that they're gone.

 

 

Keiji brought Jade to a gate similar to the one in town. He walked over to the console and punched in some coordinates. They both stood by while the gate whirred up and in an instant sucked them through.

When they came out on the other side it was a medieval looking town. The villagers were walking around with wagons and horses. There was hay bails and fruit stands. A few knights were around too. One of the villagers was watching the two enter the town. His face lit up like a bulb and he quickly garnered the attention of all the other villagers near by.

“Alas! The Archons have arrived!”

“Ah dammit.”

“What? They all seem rather happy to have you here.”

“I know. It sucks.”

“Pfft what? Not enjoying the spotlight?”

“Not really.” In mere moments the two of them were being crowded by excited villagers declaring praise for them and asking them to accept their offerings.

“Alright enough!” Keiji demanded and with that all of the villagers fell silent.

“I just want to know where this vampire is so I can kick its ass and go back home.” One of the villagers mentioned the evil vampire lord being holed up right outside the village. Keiji didn't want to waste time so he went right to the edge of town with Jade, ignoring all the villagers in the process.

 

On the outskirts of the town they came upon a giant windmill that was decrepit and ruined. They waltzed right up to the front door and what Keiji did next would shock and awe any villager watching.

He knocked on the door.

He knocked. On. The. Door.

“I'm sorry brother but you'll have to to explain to me just how IN THE HELL WAS THAT A GOOD IDEA?!”

“Huh?”

“You knocked on the door!? Its an evil vampire! That's like an open invitation to just bust down the door and eat us!”

“Huh. Well. Don't care.”

“Oh my gog, you can be such a dumbass sometim-”

“Shh quiet he's coming.”

Foot steps from beyond the door came into play, gradually getting louder as time passed until the sound stopped just behind the door. The door crept open slowly and in the doorway stood a giant man wearing the most stereotypical Dracula-like attire. He was pale skinned and had slicked back hair.

“Vwhat do you vwant?”

Keiji's jaw dropped for the first time Jade has ever seen.

“Oh my god. Please don't.”

“Don't vwhat?”

“Ugh my god if you keep talking like that I am going to destroy you.” Jade was actually in the back trying her hardest not to burst into tears laughing.

“Vwhat?! How dare you speak to me that way, insolent hu-” The Dracula-like moron had the wind knocked out of him by a punch to the gut from Keiji. However Keiji's fist was still in motion and the vampire was pushed through the windmill at amazing speed being blasted into the sky Team Rocket style.

Jade took a breath and merely said, “Meh.” She was no longer surprised by most of the things he did.

“He would not shut up.”

“Didn't like his sexy vampire voice.'

“Jade no. Just no.”

“Would have been really great if he sparkled in the sunlight.”

“Then he'd be dead. Because I can't take that kinda crap anymore.”

“This has happened before?”

“...I don't wanna talk about it.” Keiji sauntered off heading back to the gate in the village. 

 

 

On the way to the gate Jade inquired about something she had been wondering about for a while.

“Keiji?”

“Yes Jade?”

“What's it like?”

“You know Jade contrary to popular belief, I cannot read minds. Definitely would make my life better.”

“Alright smartass, I meant how does it feel to be a Dragonine?”

Keiji didn't reply. He kept walking looking on ahead. Jade lowered her head believing that she shouldn't have asked that question for whatever reason that may be. Keiji's past and the past of the Dragonine in general didn't seem too great but maybe there were things he couldn't say for the sheer amount of haunting memories.

 

 

10 minutes passed by. They were walking around the village to avoid a crowd.

 

“Do you know what I wanted to do while I still lived life as an Omni?”

“Um what was it?”

“I wanted to be a space explorer.”

“Haha like an adventurer?”

“Oh no it was a real occupation haha.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Through the military. They send you out with a ship and crew to explore the universe. You get to set up colonies, dig for treasures and even save the universe here and there haha!”

“That sounds awesome! Um but what happened?”

“Well Dragonine don't really need ships to traverse the universe. Hell we can breathe in space!”

“That doesn't sound all bad though.”

“Imagine you're an astronaut.”

“Ok?”

“Alright now imagine you've gone through loads of schooling. You worked your ass off at various other odd jobs and low end jobs. You finally get into NASA's space program. You endure another few years of training. Once that's done you wait patiently on the list until you're chosen to go up for another 3 years.”

“There is a point to this right?”

“Getting to it. Now imagine you're finally chosen to go up. You're gonna go to the moon and set up a base. You do some tests and get all geared up. You make you're way across the bridge and onto the shuttle. You get all strapped in to your chair and set up shop. Once all is said and done you're left waiting in your chair ready to take off, “ Keiji paused to give Jade a moment to envision the situation, “now that feeling you have what is it like waiting?”

“Nervous but excited.”

“Yes. They start the countdown. 10 all the way to 1 and then BLAST OFF!. Your adrenaline is pumping you feel the resistance of the ship trying to leave the atmosphere. Everything continues to shake and rumble. After minutes have passed it stops. Just like that. You get the ok to get up and move around. The first thing you do is go over to the window and look outside. You can see Earth all of it. And the feeling?”

“Indescribable...Parts of me would be a bit scared but I would be so fascinated, so amazed that it wouldn't matter.”

“The feeling before taking off and the feeling looking out that window. Those only come from the fact you worked hard to get there. You spent so much time and hard working earning your place in the stars.”

“I think I get it.... You get all these cool powers and stuff being a Dragonine, and the only trade-off is losing the special moments getting to what you want.”

“Pretty much. It can suck sometimes but there are times where we do get to experience fascination. It may not be what we want but we'll take anything. To be honest I never really wanted to have this life at first but now that I have been at it for so long I wouldn't trade it for anything else.”

“Even if you went a little insane?”

“Pfft what do you mean 'went' I still am hahahahaha.”

“Of course how could I forget?” Jade laughed and the conversation carried on with them talking about random things here and there. Eventually they reached the gate. Like before Keiji punched the coordinates and they were ported back into the Hub


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gettin to the psuedo-harem. Not gonna spoil how that is though. There is a hint at the end.

# Chapter 22: Yep I Blew Up The Fridge.

“Wow that was amazing,” Jade commented.

 

The 4 days had passed by pretty quickly. Keiji took Jade around the Hub showing her some of the more interesting. They also participated in a couple more jester run missions all resulting in Keiji being incredibly pissed off. On the last day they hung out with Dorothy and Sayna, drawing with them here and there. Jade took a few tests and a physical, reluctantly so did Keiji. She did all the necessary paperwork concerning her background and relation to Keiji. 

On the last day they hung around the Hub Administration Building with James and Mira. 

“Keiji, dude. Next time you come here we have to go back to the arena.”

“As Tom?”

“Yeah we should do like clown suits this time.”

“Dude why?”

“Cause clowns are awesome.”

“You just lost all the awesome points....no now you have negative awesome points.”

“Dude that is not cool.”

“.....”

“Dude don't ignore me.”

“You must have at least 3000 awesome points to talk to me and by my count you have 0. Have a nice day.”

“I hate you...”

“James I am not into you like that. It's not sweet but I like you too much to get into that kind of relationship. Even if you aren't cool at all.”

“......”

“That's right bitch be quiet.”

“Fuck. You.”

Keiji chuckled at James' annoyance at Keiji. He and Keiji were waiting patiently outisde the building for Mira and Jade.

After a few minutes passed they heard voices from behind the door resembling Jade and Mira.

“Yeah and he tricked me into buying it.....”

“Wow he didn't really tell me how it happened but well anyways. What happened to the stick of dynamite?”

“Keiji ended up lighting it and chucking it into a trash can in a restaurant. At that point we realized he only does it when he's bored and only because he has some sort of love of, and I quote word for word, 'blowing shit up.' Needless to say it doesn't seem to matter what we do he still some how gets fucking dynamite. Like really I don't know where he gets it. I have checked EVERYWHERE!” Mira stopped talking to look over and see James and Keiji staring at her.

Jade was hesitant and nervous to speak but did so anyway, “Um hi Kei we didn't know-”

“Oh don't worry Jade I do love blowing shit up. But I still won't tell you where I get it all from Mira.”

“You son of a bitch! Where the hell are you getting all this tnt from??????”

“The internet.”

“....You're bullshitting me aren't ya?”

“Oh most definitely.” Mira stomped up to Keiji and pointed a stiff finger in his face.

“I will find out one day Keiji. Mark my words....”

“What color?”

“Huh?”

“You said to mark your words. With what color shall I mark thine words?”

“Hmmm green.”

“Ooooh good choice,” Jade added.

 

They passed the rest of the time chatting about miscellaneous crap with some interwoven jokes laid upon James. When it hit time Jade and Keiji made their way over to the gate. Keiji punched in the coordinates home while Jade waved goodbye. James and Mira told her they would be coming through tomorrow though since Archons weren't limited to where they could go and hangout or sleep.

 

Back over in Can town Dave, Rose and Seeth were waiting at the gate for Keiji and Jade. 

All the lights for the gate flickered on and out shot Jade right in front of Seeth. Everyone waited for a few seconds before another flash of light announcing Keiji's arrival shown, except Keiji was blasted into the sky at like mach 5.

“Of course he held down on the event flow. Of course.” Seeth watched annoyingly as Keiji plummeted back down to the ground in a superhero landing fashion.

Keiji sighed with satisfaction, “Yep just gonna stand here and be awesome.” Seeth shook her head and walked up to Keiji. She slugged him right in the arm but that didn't stop him from laughing his ass off and her failed attempts to suppress his idiocy. 

“Hiya Dave, Hiya Rose.”

“Dude dude”

“Dude?”

“Dude.”

“Dude!”

“Dude!”

This back and forth escapade between Keiji and Dave continued for a bit before Rose finally but in.

“Hello Keiji, it's been a while.”

“That is has Rose.”

“Dropped any moons on any ships while you were gone?”

“Fuck. You know about that? Wait shit I mean sup...dude...”

Rose laughed a bit under her breath, “Don't worry Keiji you can tell us all about it later.”

“I'd rather not..” Keiji whispered out of everyone's ear shot.

They all made their way to the cafe where everyone else was. Keiji let everyone else go in first. 

Once everyone was inside, minus Keiji of course, they all sat around the big table they all hang out on most occasions. Keiji could hear the talking die down. He waited a couple more minutes, giving enough time for everyone to turn their attention to the door. 

Keiji stopped time via the arc force. Because of this he completely shut Dave out from what he was doing. Keiji stepped inside the cafe and sat down next to Vriska and Terezi. He then quickly reached around the table and switched everyone's drinks around making sure that no one had their own drink. Once he was done he unfroze time and waited, patiently.

_Hehehe._

“OH MY GOG IS THAT INDESCRIBABLE FUCK ASS COMING THROUGH THE DOOR OR NOT???”

“Karkat, Please Relax. He May Just Be Nervous.”

“The guy fightth giant thumpreme beingth, he can't be that fucking nervouth.”

“W3LL H0W D0 Y0U KN0W?”

“Look he's not nerv-” Jade stopped mid way when she looked behind her for some inexplicable reason. 

“How long?”

Terezi looked confused, “H0W L0NG WH4T?”

“Ahem.” Keiji cleared his throat for attention. Everyone turned to face Keiji. Some of their jaws dropped and some of them, especially Rose and Kanaya, seemed unfazed.

Roxy started laughing. Really hard. She almost tipped back in the chair if wasn't for Dirk catching her chair.

“Keiji, I understand you have a screw loose but maybe you can warn us before you do something amazing again.”

“Where the hell's the fun in that? Pfft wait till you meet Orina.”

Vriska groaned annoyingly, “You have mentioned that name like several tiiiiiiiimes? Who the hell is th8?!”

“Oh well she's the beginning.”

“Wh8?”

Everyone stared at Keiji as he said nothing more. Rose spoke up requesting a more detailed answer. 

“Keiji, could you elaborate please?”

“Um sure I guess.” Keiji gestured for everyone to take a drink showing that the explanation would take some time. Each of them took a swig and then went into a stunned state. They immediately turned to look at the culprit who was rolling on the ground laughing.

“Oh the shit you can do stopping time...Pffft.” Keiji continued to laugh and laugh. He began to laugh harder and harder till he was out of breath. Eventually he stopped and picked himself off the ground and sat back down. He ignored the annoyed looks throughout the group and began to speak of Orina.

“Mkay check this shit out. So before the Strataverse was a single point. The point where LITERALLY everything came from. Literally everything. Well things like time, space, different emotions, etc. they all sometimes grow a true soul and become embodied. Orina is the embodiement of the Origin Point.”

“Whoa so she's like the ultimate being?” Dave inquired.

“No actually in comparison to Keiji and others she's not all that powerful.” Seeth had mentioned this to them before in passing but now they began to realize what she meant. Keiji continued his speech. 

“Yeah so she's governed by like natural laws and forces. Along side the O-Point were these Origin Forces. Three in total. Some of us can use them and because of it we pretty much stand outside her jurisdiction.”

“And What Are These Three Forces?” Kanaya asked.

“Story for another time Kanny.”

“Kanny?”

“What? I thought it was a cute nickname. I'll go back to Kan or Kanaya if you want.”

“No! I Mean No. Kanny Is Just Fine Thank You.” Kanaya had the brightest smile on her face. It made Keiji smile but he wasn't sure why she was so happy about the nickname.

“So are we going to meet Orina?” asked Dave while poking Karkat's nubby horns. Karkat kept trying to swat his hand but Dave took his hand away at the last second.

“Nah she is currently leading....Actually now that I think about it I can't tell you. It's classified. On the highest level.” Everyone said nothing more however Keiji had a few last words on the subject.

“Know this. We, as in everything in existance, are at war. We don't know who and we don't know why but we know when it started. The day the entire Altairian Empire disappeared from existance. And on that note, no more talking about it. At least not yet...” All of them nodded. Seeth got up and made her way behind Keiji. She leaned forward over Keiji's shoulder and held on to his shoulders.

“So Keiji.”

“Seeth if this is about the TNT in the I put in your fridge, it wasn't me.”

“Oh it's not-WAIT WHAT!?”

“Oh nothing.”

“OH HELL NO! Why did you blow up my fridge again?!”

“Is that a trick question?”

“Unfortunately yes.....We will discuss this later.”

“No we won't.”

“Yeah, we won't. Whatever anyways. These guys all wanna throw you like a welcome party...tomorrow! Yes tomorrow..”

“Ok? We could do it toda-”

“NO! Um no. Tomorrow is the best time. Besides I know you probably just to take a nightly walk and survey the area.”

“Oh yeah that's right we were gonna start dropping supplies in from the Hub to set this planet up as another off-world outpost. I should start tagging spots.”

Rose inquired about the intentions of the outpost, “What are the consequences of having an outpost here?”

“Quick access to Archon resources and medical equipment. Also access to jobs spread throughout the Stratoverse annnnnnd.....”

“And?” Rose leaned in a bit in anticipation.

“Our education system is much higher than anywhere. We offer a amazing collection of different courses. Like over what 15,000? And then there's access to the Archon courses. And the best part...”

“Keiji, while I usually do enjoy a bit of anticipation in literature I find myself quite impatient in this current situation.” Rose looked slightly annoyed but her look shifted when she saw Keiji smirk.

“It's all free...” Rose's face filled with awe at what he said and so did several others.

Rose could only utter one word, “What?”

“Yeah its all free. The Archon courses require a written recommendation but all in all you can go through it all for free and get a great job.”

“Whoa, so you guys have like an amazing fuckin school system,” exclaimed Roxy.

“Yeah so bout that party? Where and when? And what should I bring?”

“Nothing dude and everything will be a surprise.”

“Dammit fine, I will be heading out now. I will most likely see y'all around tomorrow morning. Me and Seeth have a LOT of ground to cover before deployement.

Keiji got up and waved goodbye to everyone. Seeth followed after and they made their way out to the streets and proceeded to the park.

 

Hours passed by. Seeth and Keiji had gone around the entire city and town tagging points of interest for supply drops. Towards the end Seeth made sure to stop by the fountain last. Seeth stopped next to it and sat down on the ledge of the fountain. Keiji stopped in front of her and paced back and forth but only right in front of her.

“Something on your mind Kei?”

“Hmm? Oh,” Keiji sighed and then revealed his thoughts to Seeth, “Remember the Tarkin Walls?”

“The ones that spoke about the old race?”

“Yes but it's not that. Do you remember the part about some mysterious traveler?”

“Well yeah that's you right?”

“No its not.”

“Wait huh? But I mean aren't you the Strange Traveler?”

“It's Heidi.”

“huh?”

“Yep, pretty sure that the traveler on those walls was her.”

“That's a good thing right?”

“Honest?”

“Honest.”

“Doesn't matter. Her splinters could be anywhere. I would not even know where or what to look for. It's cool though.”

“Hm.”

Time passed in silence. Eventually Seeth spoke in attempt to break the uneasy silence.

“So Keiji, have you talked to Alfy yet?”

“Um once? Yeah once. He said he would be back in a week. He wanted to make sure nothing like that would happen again.”

“Haha yeah he looked everywhere for anything to help you. He was kinda pissed that I didn't tell him anything.”

Keiji coughed a bit to hide a laugh but Seeth heard it.

“Look asshole, I was under a time restraint.”

“Hey I'm not complaining haha. Hmm”

“What?”

“Isn't it like your guys' anniversary? In two days that is.”

Seeth's eyes lit up. _Oh fuck this will be easier to get to then I thought._

“Pfft maybe. Haven't you found someone yet yourself?”

“Oh changing the topic eh? Well no I haven't.”

_Fuck yes, Got him right where we want him._

“Well what about, I don't know, Terezi, Vriska, Roxy, Rose or even Kanaya. Hell why not all 5?”

“Seriously? Are you serious? Are you fuckin serious?”

“Well you know that the Dragonine engage in polyamory. And maybe they have a thing for you?”

“...”

“What?”

“Fuck it. Let's lay it out.”

“Alright lets do it.”

Keiji started to look annoyed but kept pacing at the same rate.

“Let's start with Terezi. I'm pretty sure she had a hate crush on John. But I am not just John. Probably doesn't even have the hatecrush on me. I mean John said something about her having a red crush on some guy in their class.”

“You don't have proof though.”

“Doesn't seem like I need it. Definitely think that if she had a hate crush on John she doesn't have a love like crush on me.”

“O-k what about Roxy?”

“I think she liked John at one point but that didn't seem to go anywhere and that was years ago. Times have changed.”

“That's it???”

“You know things aren't always complicated. Sometimes it's just that simple.”

“Ugh Fine. What about Vriska?”

“Vriska definitely had a crush on John. She even asked him out once in the game. But again that was years ago and she has mentioned something about not dating anyone either.”

“Hmm kinda hard to get past that last part but how about Rose or even Kanaya?”

“Assume that one of them does like me, I would not tear the two apart EVER. I couldn't bear to do that to the 2. They go so great together, and they're so happy too. I'll be fine you know. It's not like I need a companion or 5.”

Seeth stared down at the ground. She contemplated several things. She kicked her feet on the ground thinking hard about what to do and then like a light bulb going off she thought of something good.

“Well do you like them?”

“What haha?”

“I asked do you like them? The girls.”

“Well yeah. Kinda stupid to ask me though. I mean why mention those 5 obviously?”

“Wellllllll what if, and that's an if, they all would be your bondmates would you say yes?”

“Pfft that's funny. There is no way in hell they would ever ask me that, together.”

 

Out of Keiji's sight a voice came that sounded so familiar to him and yet frightening at the same time.

“0H 1S TH4T S0?”

“Oh shit.”

“Oh Shit Is Right.” Kanaya and Terezi came from the other side of the fountain.

“Yeah Kei I don't think you get to decided ya know?”

“Yes it seems as though our little dragon has much to learn.” Rose and Roxy followed after Kanaya and Terezi.

“Geeeeeeeez Kei you must be an idi8.” Vriska was right behind Rose.

Keiji's head started running at lightspeed. He couldn't compute what the hell was going on. The only thing he could come up with was....

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit”

“Relax Keiji, We Are Not Here To Scare You.” Kanaya tried to reassure Keiji and it seemed to work so Keiji asked the all important question.

“Ok ok well hoooow much did y'all um hear? Like nothing right? Haha...ha.”

The girls didn't reply but Terezi and Rose smirked. Those smirks said more than any words and Keiji's eyes grew huge. He was beginning to freakout.

“OH! Oh UM well thats FUCK THATS INTERESTING! IIIIIIIII dont know what to do. Wait yall think its crazy what seeth said. OF COURSE YOU DO! I mean why wouldn't you????? Um yea so IM GOING um home!? Shit....” Keiji was all over the place but Kanaya put her hand on his shoulder stopping him dead in his tracks.

“You Didn't Answer The Question.”

Keiji stared at Kanaya with a weird confusion. 

“Heh Im sorry WHAT?”

“The Question Seeth Asked.” Kanaya seemed to stare right through Keiji. He began to shiver.

“What question?????”

Kanaya sighed and replied to Keiji with a slight annoyance, “If All Five Of Us Were To Request Your Companionship Would You Say Yes?”

Keiji seemed to think on those words for a bit as if he couldn't comprehend what she had said. After some gears finally fell into place he seemed to regain a sense of calm.

“Well yes. But that's an if and I mean uh if you actually were asking me then you probably wouldn't say-”

“Then It's Not If.”

“I...What...”

“We Are Asking You.”

“Well huh.”

“You Have Such A Way With Words.” Kanaya and the other girls chuckled. Terezi walked up to Keiji and stopped right in front of him.

“TH1S 1S N0T 4 BL4CKR0M TH1NG Y0U KN0W”

“This is happening?”

Rose was on point with a reply, “As Dave would say, 'We are making this shit happen.' Well nonetheless you have yet to actually answer truthful-”

“Yes.”

“Really?” Rose and Roxy's eyes seemed to light up like miniature suns.

“Yes but you have to sing me a song tomorrow.”

Rose looked in awe. Not because he set an odd condition but because when they planned the whole thing out Seeth mentioned this would happen. She said it was something that couldn't be explained but it seemed to have something to do with a special organ near a Dragonine's brain called the ipetram. It records certain sounds. That was as much as Seeth knew though.

Vriska, who had been sitting in the back watching and waiting, came forth to Keiji.

“Alrighty we'll do it. You already said yes though so no going back. You're already in our web hahahahaha.......Keiji? Earth to Kei! Seriously I juuuuuuuust started talking to him. I call dibs on the first date day.”

They all reluctantly agreed and then continued to watch Keiji who had seemed to freeze. Seeth walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar. She began to drag him away from the girls.

“Don't worry girls he's ok. I will be taking him home. He will have recovered by tomorrow night. Oh you should have the list of music in your emails so good luck!”

The girls nodded and off the 2 went back to Keiji's house.

 

Once the Keiji and Seeth were gone the girls began to talk amongst themselves.

“Well She Was Right,” Kanaya pointed out.

“I am not surprised to be honest, “ Rose exclaimed.

Vriska butted in, “Oh whatever at least he said yes.”

“We coulda just told him ya know?” Roxy seeemed to be annoyed by something. “I mean it woulda been hella easier if we woulda just said it.”

“Y34H BUT TH1S 1S M0R3 FUN PLUS H3'S N0T R34DY 4PP4R3TNLY.”

“Yes. I Did Not Quite Understand What Seeth Meant By That Either. She Was Rather Adamant About It Though.”

Rose looked off into the distance to where Keiji and Seeth had gone. She muttered something under her breath

“I know you think you'll never find us but the truth is we were always looking for you.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter 23. Complete with giant friggin bottles.

# Chapter 23: Bottle of Destiny

 

 

 

The morning came like all others. Keiji was already out of the house by the time everyone was up. He had made his way to the edge of town where there was a small mountain range.

“Well time to for a little contact meditation.” Keiji sat down in stereotypical meditation form except instead of putting his hands on his legs he brought them down to his stomach making a faux bowl with them. He closed his eyes and breathed.

He inhaled once more and breathed.

Another inhale and another exhale.

One last inhale but the exhale was different. It was haunting and seemed to resound throughout the mountains. Keiji had achieved a state of meditation passed down by the Archon Hunters called Sek Phae. It allows the one meditating to contact the essences of the Strataverse. Of course he is really only going to talk to one person.

“Any day now.”

_Hello Little One. I am Orina, the Grand Originator Supreme. What is it that you seek oh child of mine.?_

“.....”

_Do not be afraid young one I am here to answer all your questions._

“Have you seriously been introducing yourself like that?”

_Oh shit_

“Uh huh, Yeah we'll talk about this later little missy.”

_Ya know broski that's not cool._

“I am not the cool guy.”

_Yeah Yeah, anyways that party, am I uh invited heh?_

“Welllll nobody really knows you so....”

Keiji hears a light sob. _I tried to help! I'm soori!_

“Whoa whoa I was just messing with ya.”

_That;s not funny!_

“Alright alright I'm sorry.” The sobbing starts to die down. “And yes you can come.”

_Yaaaay I get to watch your girlfriends sing!_

“How the hell-”

_Seeth told me._

“Sonofa-”

  _She also told me about, well, everything._

“Not like you couldn't just look it up.”

_Clan time!_

“What?”

_Clan time. You know? You were gonna make a clan once Super Creep was gone._

“Rob Zombie?”

_yeah came up on the playlist last night. Kinnnda been goin overkill with it haha._

“Mmm Well anyways, yes you may come to the party.”

_Can I-_

“No you may not bring your giant bottle.”

  _Buuut Keeeiiiijiiiii, what if they want to play spin the bottle and don't haavvee onnnnnnnneeee????_

“Orina.”

_Yes Keiji?_

“Your bottle IS 54 FEET TALL. It doesn't fit anywhere we go. Who the hell is gonna have the strength to spin it besides you and me?!”

_That's just a small oversight, it's no big deal._

“SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY BIG FUCKING DEAL TO ME!”

_Nah dude nah its cool. Itll work out._

 “NO.”

_Awwwww fuckin dammit fine. Can I at least bringmy drums?_

“Package that shit and you can.”

_Deal._

“Alright well I have to head back into town, It's already 1 pm here. Next time just answer your damn phone.”

_Geez fine I will cya tonight broski._

The young female voice vanished and Keiji stood up. He brushed off his pants and turned around to find one Rose watching him.

“Um sup?”

“You seemed to be at peace.”

“Oh I was just chatting with Orina. She'll be coming the party tonight.”

“That's good, I look forward to meeting the esteemed Embodiment of Origin herself.”

“Don't expect much. And you might wanna thank me.”

“Why is that?”

“I just averted a disaster of the highest scale.”

“Oh my! What would this supposed disaster be?”

“54 feet.”

“I don't follow.”

“Yeah lets just leave it at that. Sooooo uh whats up? Did ya need something? Besides like a disaster report. Because, well, crisis motherfuckin averted.”

“What? A girl can't visit her Bondmate?”

“I..uh um...Do you know what a bondmate is?”

“Similar to a girlfriend except in your cultural it comes in two levels. One is non-tethered and the other is tethered. You have no ceremony or ritual equivalent to marriage either with tethering being the closest thing. Bondmates also tend to spar and, in come cases, share pain and other feelings via a special link.”

“Huh right on the mark. Alright well um hi.”

“Try not to flood me with your amazing rapport of romantic terms.”

"Well yeah, I suck at romance.”

“Gasp! The amazing Keiji terrible at something.” Rose put her hand over her mouth mimicking surprise. She smirked behind it all though.

“Geez Rose try not to be so astounded haha.”

“Well if I were to account for all that you have been through I would make a most intriguing deduction. You, Keiji, have never been on a date or even tried to date.”

“I don't whether to feign surprise or call bullshit ecstatically. I'm leaning towards calling bullshit. Seems more interesting.”

“Well while I would love to see how something like that would play out I actually did come out out here for a specific reason.”

“Lay it on me Rose, or throw it. You could probably launch it too. Oooo spin it at me. Can you spin something at someone? Like a top? That'd be fuckin awesome! We could have like a beyblade tournament with like people and chairs. When we shout out the name of said chair or person a giant glowing beast comes out of them. But only we can see it. Because we did all the drugs. All of them. I'm sorry what was the question?”

“I hadn't asked yet.”

“Oh, well ask away. Or-” Before Keiji could go off on another tangent again Rose cut in.

“Would you like to go to lunch with me?”

“What? Like a date? If you're dating do you actually have to ask?” Keiji asked with sincerity which caught Rose off guard .

“I guess it may seem like an odd custom to those who have never practiced dating or learned the practices involved. On another note, the date is not just with me actually.”

“I am to assume there are 4 other bodies to account for? And that a tux is involved?”

“I do not understand where you got the notion of a tuxe-”

“Tuxedo's are awesome, nuff said.”

“Interesting.”

“No."

“No what?”

“Don't you dare rose. Do not psychoanalyze me.”

“I am afraid that you are a little late to say that now.”

“Dammit. Fuck it change the topic. You can tell the description later of how magnificently warped and joyous my mind is.”

“Interesting how close you are but as you said, later. Would you accompany me now?”

“Sure I guess. I will not restrain my nervousness nor will I adhere to not shaking uncontrollably in y'alls presence.”

“Y'all?”

“That's not what I said.”

“Hmm. A later time I guess.”

“Never will we will delve into that.”

“If you think so.” Keiji ignored Rose's last comment and walked back into town with her. They made their way over to a diner called Dion's where the other 4 girls were waiting and chatting each other up. The moment Keiji stepped into the diner he felt 10 pairs of eyes on him including Rose's.

“I feel some holes throughout my body, like 10 of em.” Keiji laughed a bit as he debated where to sit down. Kanaya and Terezi made a spot in between the two of them for him to sit down. Once he sat down he pulled up a menu and started looking through intently trying his hardest to focus on the menu since he was being stared down by 5 sets of eyes.

“A burger and a malt. Reminds me of home. Well my current home. Still my home though.”

“Hmm.” Terezi looked down at her menu. She gave it a quick sniff noting the items Keiji picked out. She was trying to learn more about Keiji as was all the other girls.

Vriska began the questionnaire, “Where is your home?”

“Um Earth-59 but it's actually called something else.”

Rose perked up at the topic, “And what would that be?”

They could see a small smirk forming across his face, “Shambhala.”

Rose and Roxy's jaws hung a bit before Roxy manage words, “Isn't that like some ancient city for monks?”

“Close enough, yes and no. You'll find that most mythology and things like that are actually tales from beyond the stars. Although I wouldn't delve too much. For each Utopia sprawled in the stars there is also a dystopia. Of course I have seen things like Camelot and you know what lets pick a different topic. Fuck it I have a question now.”

All the girls had seen this coming. They knew exactly what he was going to ask. Why would they agree-

“How the hell did you know I liked diners?”

The girls looked stunned, Vriska, confused, asked Keiji to rid them of there confusion, “What the fuck??? You're not gonna ask why we agreed to all date you?”

“Should I? I mean this isn't like a obligatory thing right? So obviously you all like me. Right?” Keiji seemed a little unsure towards the end of his words. His face showed a slight worry.

“Well yeah. I mean I just figured you would be curious as to how all 5 of us agreed to date you together.” The slight worry in Keiji's face vanished and he seemed quite happy.

“Well it was probably Seeth's doing. I swear she's got my back so much.”

“Yeah you should probably thank her. Anyways, we're gonna hang out till the party tonight.”

“By we you mean the 6 of us.”

“Of course, who the hell else would I mean????????”

“Well um y'all wanna go to the movies? Am I uh doin this right? Is the movies a good date thing? Wow I need to work on this.”

Roxy came up behind Keiji and draped her arms over his shoulders and hugged him.

“Kei, babe, don't worry we gotcha covered. Let us handle the thinkin, pretty sure you do enough of that. Oh and you said 'yall' with like a southern accent, whats the deal with that?”

“Psssh nothing. Ask when I'm drunk.”

“You gets drunk?”

“Not on liquor. We use the liquor to breathe fire.”

Terezi pushed Roxy out of the way for her own intrigue and delight. “C4N Y0U TURN 1NT0 4 DR4G0N?!”

“Yes and no.”

“H0W C4N 1T B3 B0TH??”

“I um a not allowed to change. Due to my size...”

Kanaya sipped her coffe before intruding upon the conversation. “How Big Are You?”

“Quadra class.”

The girls looked at Keiji with bewilderment, well all except Rose who was in shock by his words. She pulled herself together and spoke.

“That class, it's as big as a Quadra Galaxy. If I am correct the size is around a total of 4 galaxies combined. How...Is that even possible?”

“It's-”

“A story for another time?” Rose looked disappointed. It was hard to learn more when he kept putting things off for later.

“Actually no. It's more like I can't remember.”

“Slipping in your old age?” Some of the disappointment on Rose's face began to vanish and was replaced by a small smirk.

“No I mean I don't actually have the memory for some reason. We've dug for it before but I never seem to find anything and its pretty damn irritating sometimes but I don't really care anymore.”

“Oh.....I'm sorry I mistook your words for a chance to-”

“Put it off till later? Nah I wouldn't do that to ya girls. I do save some good stuff for later but only because I gotta have some kinda story to tell.”

 

 

 

They passed the rest of the time at Dion's pretty quickly. It was about 5 when they left. They all agreed to head over to the spot the party was taking place which was Dave's, Karkat's, Jake's and Dirk's place.

When they enter the slightly mansion looking abode they were greeted by Dirk and Dave having a foam sword fight.

“Dude you are going down.”

“Oh really? Your sensei begs to differ.”

“No. Dirk, do not start this ninja crap.”

“Too late now bro. Prepare for my ninjutsu.”

Keiji seemed amused but decided to interject. “I know the Master Archon Ninja.”

Dirk turned quick to Keiji's words, “That exists??”

“Mhm, we call her Blue. She tears people to shreds. And for some reason she likes to bake cookies. She sends me a lot of them. Its pretty cool.”

Vriska sighed, knowing how thickheaded and dumb when it comes to romantic approaches. She would deal with this Blue person at a later time. For now she swished herself up to Keiji linking his and her arm together. Keiji blushed is apparent electric blue, or cotton candy blue in Terezi's case. They walked around as the people began to file in. Eventually Kanaya stole his other arm while Rose, Roxy and Terezi taking the front and the back of his pack. It was like an alpha wolf and his mates stalking their next prey.

Sollux and Equius watched from afar.

“Man thith ith really weird. I didn't think that Terezi and Kanaya would both be on him.”

“Yes the odd b100d seems to.....wait did he just eat all of the steak?”

 “Yeah I heard he eath a lot.”

 

 

The party continued and about 2 hours in everyone found a karaoke machine plopped up in the front room. Keiji was aware of what was coming but had been looking around for Orina. He figured she was just hiding waiting for the right moment to reveal herself. If she chose to reveal herself in a grandiose fashion he would give her a huge wallop. And now he was thinking of delicious scallops.

Seeth had made her way into the living room and pulled out a large microphone.

“ARE YALL READY FOR SOME MUSIC?!” Everyone cheered loud except for Keiji who, even though he wasn't going to sing, was still very nervous. And of course Seeth likes to make things interesting right off the bat so she calls on the 5 girls to sing first.

“Alright first we have 5 special ladies getting ready to sing first and the song they've chosen.......Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At the Disco. Oooooo isn't that one of your fave's Keiji? I wonder how they figured that out?”

“Oh yeah I fuckin wonder,” Keiji muttered under his breath.

The girls made their way to the karaoke stage and each of them grabbed a microphone.

Sounds emerged from the speaker. They were reminscent of a carnival or fair. Then the drums hit and Rose began to sing first

 

_Do I look lonely?_

_I see the shadows on my face_

_People have told me_

_I don't look the same._

 

As they sung they watched Keiji start to light up. Roxy sung next.

 

_Maybe I lost weight_

_I'm playing hooky,_

_With the best of the best_

_Put my heart on my chest_

_So that you can see it too_

 

Keiji began to bob his head with the music, closing his eyes and taking the sounds in. Then Vriska sang.

 

 

_I'm walking the long road,_

_Watching the sky fall_

_The lace in your dress tingles my neck,_

_How do I liiiiiiiive?_

 

And altogether the girls sang.

 

_The death of a bachelor_

_Ooooooooh_

_Letting the water fall_

_The death of a bachelor_

_Ooooooooh_

_Seems so fitting for_

_Happily ever after_

_How could I ask for more?_

_A lifetime of laughter_

_At the expense of the death of a bachelor_

 

Keiji was tapping his feet in time with th rhythm and swaying happily. They could feel a special kind of atmosphere coming from him as if this song's feel matched him perfectly. It was now Kanaya's turn.

 

_I'm cutting my mind off_

_It feels like my heart is going to burst_

_Alone at a table for two_

_And I just wanna be served_

 

Then came Terezi's verse, full of excitement just like the others.

 

_And when you think of me_

_Am I the best you've ever had?_

_Share one more drink with me,_

_Smile even though you're sad_

 

At the end of Terezi's verse came Vriska once more, singing her favorite part of the song

 

_I'm walking the long road,_

_Watching the sky fall_

_The lace in your dress tingles my neck,_

_How do I liiiiiiiive?_

 

At this point Keiji was filled with excitement but was also blushing madly. The conflicting feelings he had only fueled the girls who began to sing the chorus once more.

 

 

_The death of a bachelor_

_Ooooooooh_

_Letting the water fall_

_The death of a bachelor_

_Ooooooooh_

_Seems so fitting for_

_Happily ever after_

_How could I ask for more?_

_A lifetime of laughter_

_At the expense of the death of a bachelor_

 

Once the choir cut out an odd sound played and after that they sang the chorus one last time.

 

 

_The death of a bachelor_

_Ooooooooh_

_Letting the water fall_

_The death of a bachelor_

_Ooooooooh_

_Seems so fitting for_

_Happily ever after_

_How could I ask for more?_

_A lifetime of laughter_

_At the expense of the death of a bachelor_

 

The girls bowed as the song faded out. They found Keiji so flushed blue that he could have hailed ships as the light of a lighthouse. They giggled and chuckled and made their way over to him. 

“You know that was AMAZING but yeah I don't have any idea what to say now. “

 “H3H3 Y0UR CH33KS S4Y 3V3RYTH1NG!”

 “Of course they do.”

 “Do Not Worry Keiji, We Had Fun.”

 “Well that's good.”

 Vriska cleared her throat for attention and asked the all important question, “So it's official riiiiiiiight? I mean you did agree to it as a condition and that whole listening organ business seems to be good.”

 “What?”

 “You know? That organ the uh ipetram.”

 “Oh my god. SEETH IM GOING TO KILL YOU!” Keiji could hear seeth laughing maniacally in the background.

 Kanaya and the girls looked unsure of the situation that was occuring. “I Do Not Understand. I Truly Believe I May Never Have.”

 “There's no such thing as an ipetram organ....That's something Seeth made up once because I filter ignorant bullshit out when people speak. She thought itd be funny if the Dragonine actually possessed an organ that did that. I opted to call it the Spudifier. Sadly it was not readily welcome. Not quite sure why.”

 Rose laughed hard, “Yes because Spudifier is a great choice for biological naming. I would ask where you derived the choice from but I have a feeling that it was more random than anything else right?”

 “Um yep, definitely did not involve chucking fries at assholes who were in my peripheral vision....”

 “I see and I am to assume you were victoriousin your starch infested endeavors?”

 “Oh fuck yeah. But only because my competition was beginning to get rather....salty.”

 “Oh Dear.” Kanaya sighed but seemed amused by him nonetheless.

 Keiji began to look around the party some more for Orina only to hear a loud crashing sound near the punch bowl.

 Everyone turned to see a young girl upside down and floating. She had silver hair in a pony tail and a gothic lolita dress that was black and white with purple frills. Hery eyes were orange and she looked so startled and confused. She tried to get a glass of punch but accidentally dropped a bowling ball into the punch.

 “Dammit. Keiji look away. You seee NOTHING!”

 “Orina dear, shut up.”

 “Oy thats not cool.”

 Before anyone could even begin to ask Keiji grasped the situation quick, “Yeah that is Orina, you know the Embodiment of the Origin of everything. Blah blah. Anyways I am going to take a look around the house. I swear to fuckin everything Orina if I find that giant effin bottle so help me I WILL WALLOP THE FUCK OUT OF YOU!” Of course the first door to the backyard Keiji opened revealed a giant 54 foot glass bottle. In a split second Orina was outside guarding it with her life. She could see the veins in Keiji's forehead. He held up his hand to destroy the giant bottle but he received a giant thwack on the from Rose instead.

 “Well yes it is a bit a disaster but just having it here shouldn't do much. However there will definitely be no spin the bottle with this tonight I'm afraid.” Orina chuckled and went back into the party once she was sure her prized bottle was safe.

 Keiji merely sighed and accepted what Rose had said, albeit hesitantly. He turned to start heading back inside but was greeted by the other 4 girls.

 Roxy moved right in front of him and started speaking, “You know Kei babe, with you things are gonna get rally weird around here, but in a good way.” And with those words she leaned in and kissed him. His face turned to shock but he didn't receive a chance to recover as Vriska was upon him.

 “You reeeeeeeeally have to show us a good time from now on haha.” Vriska pulled his face in for a quick kiss that, to Keiji, didn't seem quick at all.

 Kanaya grabbed Keiji lightly and pulled him closer. She didn't say much and tried to let the sincerity in her eyes do the talking. It seemed to have worked as Keiji was staring into them earnestly so while he was distracted she stole his lips with a kiss that lasted a good few seconds.

 Keiji was turning bright blue again but that only made Terezi chuckle more.

 “0H K31J1 1F 0NLY Y0U KN3W H0W SW33T Y0U W3R3.....JUST L1K3 C0TT0N C4NDY H3H3H3H3.”Terezi laughed more and than quickly grabbed Keiji pulling him into a tight kiss that Keiji swears was too amazing.

 Last but not least Rose approached him. She looked at him earnestly and didn't say anything. She cupped one of his cheeks and gave him a light kiss on the lips. She made it seem chaste but Keiji could tell there was something more devious and sexy in her kiss she was hiding.

 After all the pleasantry Keiji received he stood there and watched his bondmates retreat back into the house. He took a moment to take it all in. Eventually he turned to look at the giant glass bottle. And spoke to himself quietly.

 “Nothing like the adventure of life, right Kor?”

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more like an intermission chapter. Lots of dialogue and not much in the way of actual actions. MOst is build up for the next chapter.
> 
> Trying a slightly different format let me know how it works. Or if you know it looks the same and doesn't matter
> 
> This chapter was slightly delayed do to some late work nights but boom its here

# Intermission: That's Alot of Nuts!

 

Seeth started, “Keiji?”

“.....”

“Keiji.”

“Mmyess Seeth?”

“I just have this tiny question to ask.”

“Aaaannnnd what would that be?”

“Just wanna know WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THEM FROM?!?!?!”

It was a week after the party. Keiji had gone on a few missions and hung out with his bondmates, albeit nervously. The current situation however is occuring at the Diner, in the morning. It was only 4 days of summer left. All of them were doing their best to hang out often. At the table where everyone crowded around, some of them were happy, some were pissed, some were stunned and some couldn't stop laughing. Why were they all like this? Because only 3 hours ago Keiji took it upon himself to blow up not 1 or even 2 but every fucking mailbox on the street. Given though, that they were only business boxes (he didn't blow up Kanaya's Fashion Beautique mail box) he was still in trouble.

“Ok ok let's just start from the beginning,” Dave said, “Why did you blow them up?”

“I got bored.”

“See I'm having a hard time understanding something.”

“And what pray tell is that, Dave?”

“You blow shit up when you get bored?”

“Yep.”

“Ok WHY?!”

“I dunno, I mean Kor told me once but I wasn't paying attention. Seeth knows I think. I would know but I don't so yeah. Rose can you pass me a straw.”

Rose gave Keiji a stern look and grabbed a straw. She unwrapped it and threw the wrapper off to the side.

“Here you go, darling.”

“......God dammit.”

Rose smirked, “You didn't think I would give you a dangerous weapon, did you?”

“I wanna say I wouldn't have done anything but we both know that's a load of crap so anyways. I fixed all the damn mail boxes Seeth so it's all good. I even wrote an apology letter after I finished building the pool last night.”

The more Keiji talked the more it dawned on Kanaya and Vriska that Keiji has a one track mind outside of combat. There was also one other thing they noticed.....

Jade was drawn to the last thing Keiji said, "Wait you built a pool? where???"

 "Oh in the backyard of our house."

 "When did you- you know what nevermind. I'm pretty sure its something ridiculous." And with that the pool topic vanished like a ninja.

Keiji's eyes wandered to Rose. He was staring at her black lips. “Would love to steal those black lips.....Wait what?” Keiji surprised himself.

Rose looked up at Keiji to find a bright blue light disappearing from his eyes.

Rose covered her mouth holding in a laugh. She tried to speak, “Keiji, you did it again.”

“Wait....fuck.”

Rose was referring to something only those with light blood do every once in a while. Keiji, however, is a dual blood meaning he has two blood types his other blood type being black. The Dragonine did not possess a hemospectrum. They're blood types helps distinguish certain medical facts and eludes to the Dragonine's personality. The personality generates the blood color however it is not a specific definition . Because of this young ones are born with clear blood. Once they turn 13 their blood changes color. In Keiji's case, the black shows a fierceness and strong will while the light blood shows a sense of contemplation and yearning however being a dual blood Keiji tends to speak any of his inner thoughts out loud without realizing. Seeth has dubbed it K-Trance, or sometimes Asshole Trance. Keiji will come out of it and either not care or freak out in the case of his bondmates.

Flashback (“Keiji...Keiji.....KEIJI!” Terezi smacked Keiji over the head. “P4Y 4TT3NT10N! WH4T 4R3 Y0U 3V3N ST4R1NG 4T?”

“You're amazing tits. They're so fuckin perfect for some reason.......Wait.....Oh shit!”

“H3H3H3 WHY K31J1 1 D1DN'T KN0W Y0U W3R3 S0 1NT3R3ST3D 1N TH3M. D0N'T W0RRY Y0U C4N K33P L00K1NG.” At this point Keiji drew a blank and stayed lost for quite a while while Terezi took a nap on his lap.)

“Oh my gosh I did it again. Look Rose I am sooooooooooo sorry.”

“Don't be. Besides seeing you flustered like this is more than enough compensation. It is also refreshing to see you be so blunt at times.”

“Yeah besides I recall you passing out last night on me while watching movies,” Vriska added. She reached under the table and started poking his feet with her toes since they both were wearing flip flops. Vriska was extremely pleased out how things turned out. She was a hero from the game. She lived with her best friend, and she also had a cute, badass boyfriend. She was quite fond of him regarding the boyfriend part. Or bondmate as it was called.

“Yeah yeah, but you replayed the movie for the like the 12th time that night and day.”

“Ooh whateeeeeeeever you know you liked it.”

“Ahem.”

“Don't you dare.”

“That's what she said.”

“Gog dammit Keiji!!!!!!!!” Vriska reached out and slapped Keiji on the shoulder.

Roxy was on the other side of Keiji talking with Terezi but turned when Keiji started going Trance on them.

“Kei, babe, what the hell???”

“Roxy? What uh whats goin on?”

“What about me??”

“I'm sorry?”

Terezi faux scoffed and laughed maniacally, “Y34H G33Z K31J1.”

“I have no idea what's going on.”

Roxy pouted in a cute way, “How come you don't go trance on me? Or Kanaya?

Kanaya almost choked on her tea when she heard her name in the mix. She had her arm hooked around Keiji's. She was happily laying on his shoulder. She didn't really care for the dynamite event that took place but only because she knows exactly why he does it. But she won't tell.

Kanaya looked up at Roxy and blushed jade slightly.

“Actually...”

Kanaya could see Roxy's jaw drop a bit, “No.. nonononono!”

“I Was In The Shower And-”

Keiji cut Kanaya off at lightning speed, “WOAH first nothing physical happened so don't freak out Roxy. **-Trance-** Although its not like I wasn't thinking about it...FUCK...Anyways Roxy. I have gone Trance on you. Just not gonna say when. **-Trance-** Lets get real though everytime you stretch out on the couch its super hot.....FUUUUUUUUCK. I can't stand TRANCE! **-Trance-** But by gog is it fun playing online trashing on douchebags.....yeah not gonna deny that one.”

“Oh.” Roxy was surprised by this revelation. “Well now hehe.”

“Dammit.” Keiji ignored his bondmates chuckling and Terezi's face licking and drank some of his lemonade.

“0H D0N'T B3 UPS3T. 1T'S CUT3 WH3N Y0U G3T 4LL TR4NC3Y.” Terezi gave Keiji a light kiss on a cheek. His cheeks went bright blue and it only made Terezi cackle as if she had garnered a victory. 

 

 

-At the Gate-

 

The gate activated and a burst of energy shot out. From the energy a young man came out. He had short black hair with the ends of it a reddish color. He was wearing the same clothes Keiji wore. A coat/jacket with some sleek light up designs. He had a black undershirt and black pants. On his back was a halberd with red tips. His eyes were a light red and he also had scale plates, vermillion in color. 

“Hmm......” 

“I think I'm lost already...Fuck...where's my map?” The young man took out a paper map. On his arm was a Black Oracle Band. It had a map. But he didn't use it. Because he's forgetful and distracted by many things.

“Oh my god is that a opal-rumped tanager!?!?!?!” The young man raised his arm to use the camera function on his OB to take a picture of the rare bird on the tree next to him. Before he could the bird flew away. He watched fly off before turning his attention away and looking at the map on his OB finally. He walked off away from the gate steadfast.

 

 

-To the Cafe- 

 

The young man followed the blinking light to the Cafe. He stopped right in front of the door, hearing familiar voices beyond the threshold of the Cafe. 

“Seeth, listen ok? You can't just put fuckin cheese and meat on bread and call it good. That is bullshit!”

“Oh my gog, it's just a freakin sandwiched! It's not some amazing culinary creation!”

“Seeth you don't understand. It's an art form. Steak stuffed with bacon and Monterrey Jack cheese. Next you apply a bourbon mustard sauce. And finally you put some maple wood smoked bacon on top of it. Top it with a grilled pretzel bun. Delish.”

The young man took this as his cue to barge in.

“KEIJI! I am here to pick you up. Your mother sent me...”

Keiji turned to look at the young man in disbelief. His only thought was,  _ oh shit. _

“Kor why are you here?”

“I just said-”

“Yeah I don't give a fuck about that and neither do you so again, I ask, why are you here?”

Kor took a deep breath and made his way over to Keiji. He pulled up a chair across from him and sat down.

“Sup,” said Kor.

“Sup,” Keiji replied.

“Been a while.”

“Yup.”

“You shoulda told me.”

“Yeah sorry.”

“I forgive you.” Kor breathed in deep and exhaled air and a spew of words. “500.”

“No. Really?”

“Yep. They said the part was a heated coil brand.”

“I thought they decided on the cooled coil brand?”

“They broke it.”

“Of course. This is why they won't let me leave the damn the company.”

As if it was usual everyone had gone back to talking to each other. Partly because they were use to things like this and also because Keiji and Kor seemed to have a bit of history. Keiji and Kor however stood up and decided to head to the gate to go to a diner in the Hub called The Rock-A-Diner.

“We're gonna head out yall. Oh um Rosie, Kanny, Roxy, Vris, and Tezi, yall wanna join us?”

Dave bust in to the conversation, “I am assuming Karkat and mine's invite was lost in mail or maybe lost to the darkest recesses of time.”

In the most sarcastic, assholish voice and tone he could manage Keiji said, “Oh hi Dave do you wanna come with us?”

Dave just ignored the way he said it, “Yes count us the fuck in.” Karkat didn't SEEM to care one way or the other but secretly he was really excited to hang out without all the extra people.

“Nepeta wishes to join too.” 

Keiji blinked at her with a blank expression, “Why the fuck not I guess.”

 

 

-At the Hub-

 

Out of the gate shot a batch of people. All of them waited till Keiji and Kor made their way to the front of the group. Vriska and Kanaya appeared next to Keiji. They didn't say anything right away because Keiji and Kor were in the middle of a conversation. They began to walk towards the center of the city.

“Kor, have you heard from the Doc?”

“Yeah, we tracked down another set of Ruins. Some of the historical documents there mention the first Archon.”

“Hmm, anything about that place?”

“No. So for now I would keep to the limits of the structure.” At Kor's words Keiji seemed to stare off into the distance. Eventually he spoke his thoughts.

“Kor, we will find out the what Project: Nightfall was and it's connection to Shangri-la. We need to be absolutely sure about everything before we make any plans though. For now just let the Doc know not to go jumping into anything dangerous. Because we know...

“There's something worse than the Dread out there.”

 

 

 

-Twenty minutes later-

They were almost to the and the conversation between Keiji and Kor died off. Kanaya took the intiative to talk more with her bondmate.

“Keiji.”

“Yes Kanny?”

“I Was Wondering How You Were Doing?” Kanaya had this slight tension throughout her body.

“Pfft Kanny, you know, you can relax. We uh you kissed already and everything,” with that all the tension from Kanaya seemed to go into Keiji. Keiji blushed but Kanaya merely giggled.

“I Guess That Is True. I Am To Assume That Is True?” At Kanaya's words Keiji lit up like a sun.

_ Hehehe, Keiji we could use you as a flashlight. _

_ Shut the fuck up Kor! _

“Yes Kannny I did. I get the feeling though that you just want me to turn into a freakin lamp.”

“Oh Dear Please Do Recall That I Am A Rainbow Drinker And As Such I Glow As Well.”

“Oh yeah.... **-Trance-** I wonder if  _ all  _ of you glows.....,” Keiji let out a deep sigh, “Fuck”

_ First what's a rainbow drinker. _

_ Troll Vampire. _

_ Cool. Second, did you just go trance?  _

_ -Sigh- Yes..... _

_ Pffft thats fuckin hilarious! _

Kanaya herself began to blush profusely and stopped talking as such. This gave time for Vriska to cut it.

“Damn Kei, didn't know you were that curious.”

“I have no comment. At least none that wouldn't incriminate me more.”

“Oh don't worry Kanaya actually likes it!” Keiji turned to look at Kanaya who didn't respond to deny the claim instead turning her head away.

“uh”

“Haha Kei, you should see your face. Kinda hard to miss it. Oh by the way I was wondering if you I don't know wanna hangout you know alone?” Keiji's eyes widened almost out of his eyes.

“uh.”

_ Oh my god are you speechless?! That's too fucking rich. _

_ Kor I will destroy you motherfucker _

_ Pssh no you won't _

Keiji grit his teeth at Kor's telepathic conversation.

“Is that a yes?” intruded Vriska.

“Oh yeah sure.” Vriska noted Keiji's lack of attention and decided to direct her next few questions over to the culprit who Kanaya had already began to interrogate. Keiji fell back to the Rose, Roxy and Terezi. Dave, Nepeta and Karkat were hanging in the back as well but we're talking mostly to each other.

“You Are What To Him?”

“His best bud.”

“Dave Assigns Himself That Position As Well.”

“I see no reason he can't have two.” Vriska became curious at his words.

“Soooooooo you aren't jealous?” Kor seemed to stop his tracks. Vriska thought he might give her a killing glance but instead he turned and smiled. A genuine smile.

“Nope, the only I have ever been jealous is space.” Vriska and Kanaya had the most confused looks on their face.

“I don't get it,” said Vriska.

“Did you know he's been in more fights then anyone here?” Both of the girls shook their heads.

“Well he spent most of those fights alone. Because of it he's more battle hardened than most. He's also....well the rest isn't for me to say but if you know about the asylum then you should at least be told this. They didn't just inject him with experimental crap. Soulnine could regenerate body parts and well.....every once in a while you might see his fingers twitch for no reason.”

The girls look horrified at the implication of what he was saying. He quickly changed the topic to take their minds away from it.

“Well the entire point I was getting to is I wish I could have been there at the times he needed it. Space is always there though. I am thankful though that you all were there,” Kor stopped moving and turned to face the two girls. He bowed and spoke, “Thank you."

 

 

In the back of the group Keiji and Terezi were having a heated conversation. About Keiji's draconic abilities.

“S0 Y0U BR34TH3 F1R3?! TH4TS 4W3S0M3! WH4T C0L0R?”

“Its like black and electric blue. I require alcohol and one other substance to breathe fire.”

“What would be this special ingredient?” inquired Rose.

“A liquid metal called Promethium. I need a refined and 3rd-graded batch to make fire though, and it's not easy to make so I don't go breathing fire all that much. Actually I am one of five that generally don't. Kor is one as well, and also my eldest sister, my little sister and my twin brother. It's some kind of defect in us that makes our fires heavier than normal.”

_ Psst penis! _

_ Psst bitch! _

_ You're the bitch. _

_ Not as big a bitch as you _

_ Asshole _

Keiji snickered and returned his attention to the girls. Roxy had been poking him in the side trying to get his attention.

“So Keibabe got any cool games here?”

“Well there's the virtual arena called The Epico Arena. You get to see teams take each other on with various powers and weapons. There's a tournament in a few months if you want to go. Last year T.O.M. Won. Apparently it was brutal.”

“Who the hell is Tom? And sure, I'd love to go with ya. It's a date.” Keiji's cheeks lit up a bit and Terezi took notice. With one big lick across his face Keiji understood completely what every molecule of Terezi's tongue felt like.

“Terezi.”

“Y3333333S?”

“Have you ever licked yourself?”

“WHY K31J1 TH4T S0UND3D R4UNCHY.”

“Oh, well.......Maybe but not a single person outside of us is gonna know.”

“I dare say Keiji, you are beginning to understand.” Rose gave a small smirk that Keiji fully noticed.

“Understand what?” Keiji asked like a detective deducing the greatest mystery ever.”

“That we are your bondmates and things like that are ok.”

“Oh.”

“What's wrong keij babe?” inquired Roxy, “Cat gotcha tongue?”

“If it does it needs to give the damn thing back. I need that fuckin thing to eat sandwiches.”

“Y0U M34N Y0UR L3G3ND4RY W0RKS 0F 4RT, R1GHT?!” Keiji went wide eyed and almost tripped from the loss of attention.

“Terezi.”

“Y3S?”

“Did I ever mention how much of an awesome bondmate you are?”

“N0 BUT PL34S3 D0 T3LL.”

“I can't, I suck at describing stuff. Y'all are fucked in that department.”

Rose jumped in without hesitation, “And what about other departments?”

“WHOA WHOA, yep don't know how to respond to that.” Keiji's face was brighter than a star, “Part of me thinks you said that for this,” Keiji gestured his lit up face only for Rose and Roxy to chuckle.

“Well Keij babe you really suck at romance don't ya? Don't worry we will woo the crap out of you.” Roxy's words made Keiji sigh and clap his hands in an attempt to calm down however he was rudely interrupted by a young man telepathically communicating with him.

_ Dude. _

_ Kor? _

_ Can I get a pound of nuts? _

_ THAT'S ALOT OF NUTS! _

_ …... _

_ THAT'LL BE 4 BUCKS BABY! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT? _

_ …... _

_ HE JUST LEFT, WITH NUTS. _

_ Still the best fucking scene dude. _

Rose, Terezi and Roxy watched Keiji snicker and then laugh hysterically.

“I do believe we have missed the joke Keiji.” Rose look puzzled but was chalking it up to him being crazy.

“I've been telepathing Kor.”

“Ooooooh and what was so funny?” Roxy gave Keiji a light bump with her elbow.

“Movie quote. The movie was  _ Kung Pow: Enter the Fist.”  _ Roxy looked overjoyed. She loved that movie when Dirk, Jake, Jane and her sat down to watch it. Jake and Dirk couldn't stop complaining about how bad it was and Jane fell asleep.

“Hehehe Keiji how do you like my face to fist style?!”

“Wait till you see my nuts to your foot style!” Keiji and Roxy bust out laughing all while Rose looked confused and Terezi continued to grin. She was happy just being next to him. Plus she and him had lots of time later to talk since he promised he would hang out later with her since Vriska was gonna hang with him tomorrow.

Rose implored Keiji to watch the movie with her, “I would be remiss if, after your extravagant display, decided not to watch this movie. Would you care to watch it with me?”

“Tomorrow morning sound good? Terezi was gonna show me her new scalemate when we got back and then afterwards I have to blow Seeth's mini fridge.....again.” Rose stopped in her tracks and gave Keiji a reprimanding glare.

“Keiji. While I cannot fathom the joy of explosions you seem to have I would like to point out that will only make her mad. Wait you said again? How many times have you committed to this act?”

“Hmm around 3-”

“Oh well that isn't quite but at least it's not as bad as I was-”

“3 dozen.”

“......”

“Rose?”

“Why? There are no other words I can consider in this situation except why?”

“You'll understand later why.....and you'll thank me. Oh there's the diner.”

They finally made it to the Rock-a-Diner however inside lurked a special surprise that not even Keiji was expecting.

 

 

** -To be continued- **

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DIdn't quite turn out how I was expecting. The most important character isn't till next chapter and I did spoil that person towards the end but everything about this person is still a secret. This person will be playing a vital role in the next 5 chapters in which I am titling the arc Iron Heart. 
> 
> I don't think this chapter is quite as funny as I was hoping it would be but I did throw in some gags here and their. Next chapter will be half funny and half-this-is-important-stuff-so-pay-attention.

# Intermission Pt2: A Day At The Family Diner

The ding of a door and all of them stepped inside.

Keiji looked around the Diner checking for someone it seemed. Terezi made a comment on his odd behavior.

"L00K1NG F0R S0M30N3?"

"No actually the opposite. Making sure someone isn't here. Coast is clear though." Keiji made his way to the back of the Diner and sat in a booth that was large enough to accomadate all of them plus 2. And speaking of the plus 2.

"DAAAADDD!" For some reason Keiji was unaware of the little creature that was sitting next to him until it screamed in his ear. He turned to happen upon one Dorothy and one Sayna. Both girls had sat down in a comfy spot next to their "dad." Keiji looked horrified. He did a double take between the two little girls and his bondmates. Before he could utter a single syllable Dorothy made the situation as clear as day.

"OOOOh are you our future mothers!? YAAAAAAAY." Keiji went white as a ghost expecting a natural disaster to occure however he noticed that his bondmates and friends all sat down around him, acting completely normal like nothing had happened. He couldn't take, he wouldn't take it. He OBJECTED.

"OBJECTION!" The girls turned to look at him like he had just gone crazy. "Don't look at me like that! There is no conceivable way that you girls are just _fine_ after hearing that! Too weird, explain now!"

Rose sighed to cover a small smirk that was forming, "Please dear you need not be so confused. Clearly we already were aware of Dorothy and Sayna. We also know of their circumstances and their relation to you, 'Dad'."

"I am NOT. Their. Dad."

"Oh but Keiji, you see, I have already postulated a theory that is being written into law as we speak. That law most clearly states one undeniable fact and that is you, Keiji Haku, are undoubtedly their father."

"....."

Roxy joined in on the roasting, "Yeah babe cool your jets, or breath I guess. You know since you breathe fire and all? Anyways these little cutie pies are adorable, you shoulda told us you had to lovely daughters!"

Vriska hopped in as well, "Well hey now I can teach them about all the badassness that comes with being a Pir8!"

"Yes And I Have A Few Dresses They Might Like," Kanaya added. Terezi wanted to speak but was to busy laughing at Keiji to say anything.

Keiji turned to the 2 little girls then to his bondmates, back to the little ones then back to his bondmates. He procceeded to move everything away from in front of him and drop his head on the table and proclaim his defeat.

"I give up."

Rose sighed a bit of relief, "Well it seems if weird becomes normal even the mighty Keiji can't handle it. As per your sister's suggestion."

Keiji looked up from his grueling defeat, "What Jade? I wouldn't see how she knew that."

"No your elder sister. I believe she is called Sarah." The mentioning of his elder sister almost made his eyes burst out of their sockets.

"My sister....has been....talking to you guys?"

"Over pesterchum, so more like messaging us." Keiji stood up for a moment and then looked around the Diner once more.

"I swear to everything if-"

From the side a voice strange to all but Keiji, Dorothy and Sayna emerged.

"Oh little brother you came!" Before anything else could occur Keiji was leaping over everyone and trudged past the brunette who had appeared at their table. He made his way to the front and behind the counter where he pulled out a pad with blue lights in it. He looked it over a couple times and then hung his head. He slowly made his way back to the table. His walk was odd almost as if his very life force had been sucked out. He scooted past everyone and sat down. He took one deep breath and spoke only one word.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."

"Brother please use your manners at the table." Keiji turned to look at the brunette who was lecturing him. The brunette with a name plate. The name plate reading none other than 'Sarah Haku.' In Keiji's mind it really said 'Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck' over and over again.

Sarah tilted her head, blinked and then tilted it back and smiled a smile so bright it could have been used in a lighthouse and it would have been the best damn lighthouse ever. No ship would ever get lost ever again. You would see it from other multiverse that's how fucking bright it was, at least that's what was going through Dave's mind. He and Karkat had become unable to speak due to the recent development.

The girls gave Sarah a look over. She roughly the same height as Keiji and she seemed to have the same eye color, sky blue. She had brown hair tied into two giant ponytails that hung down her back reach down to her waist. She also had on rounded glasses and she wore a costume similar to a waitress from a classic 50's diner. Which was welcome considering the theme of the place.

Keiji looked at her for a couple minutes and then asked a question he deemed all important.

“Is the head chef here? Please on all that is sacred say NO.”

“Um yes?”

Keiji immediately rose from his seat once more and pointed a finger menacingly at Sarah. In a low voice he said, “Do not tell the head chef I am here.”

“But-”

“NO no buts just don't tell. Yes?”

Sarah sighed at her brother's antics, “Alrighty.” She went back to her super bright smile that seemed to have a cheery affect on everyone. Even Karkat and Dave were smiling. Karkat was usually too angry to smile and Dave didn't think it was cool but for some reason when they saw they just couldn't stop. Terezi reach across with her can and poked Karkat who seemed unaffected by it. She turned to look at Sarah puzzling who was actually asking for her order at the time.

“Miss um? Which one were you, I don't really know sorry.” Sarah made a small laugh and stuck out her tongue while hitting her head lightly with her fist.

“1 4M TH3 M4GN1F1C13NT TEREZI!,” Terezi held up her black scalemate that she had somehow hid all this time, “4ND TH1S 1S MR. BL4CK. H3 L1K3S L0NG W4LKS 1N TH3 P4RK 4ND T4K1NG D0WN CR1M1N4LS W1TH STYL3 4ND CL4SS. USU4LLY BY PUNCH1NG TH3M 1N TH3 F4C3 R34LLY H4RD.”

“Hmm that sounds like a certain little brother I know.”

“4S F0R MY M34L 1 W1LL H4V3 WH4T3V3R MY L0V3LY B0NDM4T3 1S H4V1NG.”

Keiji was honed in on the conversation between the two as the other girls were talking to the little ones.

“I am going to assume sis that you already know about my bondmates and that you told a certain person as well.”

“Um yeah. Not on purpose. Pops wouldn't stop bothering me and he ended up reading my conversation with Rose over my shoulder.

  


-In the past-

\-- fluffyBananas [FB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:04 --

-Part way through the conversation-

TT: I see. You do understand that 6 of us are, for a lack of a better term, dating, right?

FB: Oh. Well that's ok. I will abide by my little brother's decisions even if one of the decisions is the rejection of cake and cake-like confections. Speaking of which I happen to be baking one right now.

TT: I must say that I am impressed that you are attempting to bake while under the task of messaging me. I am also quite aware of his dastardly resentment towards certain baked goods.

FB:Oh well that's because I am using a voice to text headset that a friend made. It's really good and advanced. It can understand almost anyone!

TT: That does sound pretty amazing.

FB: Tis quite-Wait dad how long have you been there???

TT: I am sorry but I don't believe I follow.

FB: DAD!-He's dating 5 girls -whistling sound- holy crap my son is a playa-Dad just go away, oh my gosh! I'm sorry Rose I'll talk to you later! Bye bye!

 

\-- fluffyBananas [FB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:12 --

TT: Hmm I can only guess that this amazing technology has a downside that is rather unavoidable.

-Back in the present-

 

“I do recall that particular occurence. Am I also to know that he was aware of the half before it?” Rose asked politely.

“Thats fukin lovely....” Keiji muttered under his breath as he sulked back into his seat.

“Well yes apparently so. Our father can be a bit of an ass now and then.....oh Kor I didn't notice you were there!” Sarah turned her attention to Kor who had positioned himself next to Dave and Keiji. He looked up from the menu.

“Oh hey Sarah, I was trying to figure out what I wanted. Do you think I could get the new combo?”

“The Mighty Rocker?”

“I can't believe we chose that as the name....” muttered Keiji. Kor chuckled. He helped choose the name.

“Yeah that one. I would suggest everyone get it. Even you Keiji.” Kor stared Keiji down as if trying to tell him something important.

“What? No I want the Classic Combo.” Keiji looked confused and annoyed however even his sister didn't want him to have that.

“Little brother I personally suggest the-”

“Classic. Combo. With a chocolate malt please.” He looked like he was starting to get angry. Kor and Sarah however sighed and ignored it.

“Alrighty what does everyone else want?” Everyone ordered either the Classic Combo or Might Rocker Combo.

 

-15 minutes later-

“You dared me to do it.” Keiji was staring down Kor this time around.

“Didn't think you'd do it though.” Kor was trying to hold back his laughter. They were currently having a conversation about one of their many antics. This one in particular involved a bull, rockets and leaping off a skyscraper in a cape.

“I thought the bull could fly ok?”

Vriska and Terezi had broken down into laughter while Roxy was catching up to them. Rose, Nepeta and Kanaya were indifferent to the current discussion however that was slowly changing. Dave seemed unamused. He seemed. Really he was just contemplating the idea of trying out what Keiji did as well. Karkat looked stun and decided to intervene in the conversation.

“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT ROCKETS ON IT!?”

“Because, rocket bull.”

“THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!”

“Made sense at the time.”

“Yeah but so did buying all those marshmallows at the time, “ Kor added.

“I was gonna make a giant smore. It seemed really _smormal_ at the time.

“No.” The no came from Dave who couldn't bear what he just heard. Rose and Kanaya giggled, not at Keiji's pun but Dave's struggle to resist facepalming.

“Keiji I Was Wondering If You Could Tell Me Who Made Your Clothes. They Are Quite Interesting.” Kanaya looked puzzled over the intricate designs and effects on Keiji and Kor's clothes.

“Old man Belk. He does all the clothes in the Hub.”

“Oh All Of Them?”

“Yup. Last I heard from him though he was looking for an assistant.” Keiji noticed Kanaya perk up at what he said. He took note and deduced what her next question would be and answered beforehand, “Yes, you can apply.” She seemed confused on how he figured out what she was going to say but quickly cheered up at the prospect of working with someone of such high caliber.

A bit more chatter and the table was approached by Sarah with a cart containing all their food. She doled everything out. Keiji and Kor bowed their heads in appreciation and with that everyone dug in.

The moment everyone took a bite it was like the gates of heaven opened up for them, nirvana came to them and they achieved enlightenment all at once. Well that was just a fraction of it. Everyone started making comments about good it was. Terezi and Kanaya were grabbing Keiji's attention just enough for Rose to get a single comment to Sarah that spelled doom for Keiji.

“Can you please bring the chef here? I would love to thank him or her in person if at all possible.”

“Yeah totes this food is damn good!” added Roxy.

Sarah looked over at Keiji who wasn't paying attention and then lightly and quickly spoke, “Um yes give me one second. I will grab our chef, I don't believe she has any more orders at the moment.” Sarah looked nervous but she quickly took off. She had hoped Keiji didn't hear any of that but he had just caught enough of it to know what was about to happen.

His eyes grew massive and he quickly reached behind his back and pulled his hood over his head and down over his eyes just as Kor did the same. They then turned to face Dave and Karkat, of which Dave had a few comments to make.

“Whoa guys I know I'm sexy but damn you're gonna burn a whole through my head. Wait are you guys sweating?? Holy shit dude Keiji you look nervous! Did I just miss something?” Keiji and Kor were unable to respond and neither were the girls.

A few minutes after Sarah left she returned back with another young woman. Everyone's eyes locked onto this woman except for Sarah and of course Keiji and Kor who were to busy looking the other way.

The woman had long black hair, blue eyes and slightly pale skin. She wore a chef's apron, a white chef shirt and black chef pants. To everyone watching she was like a beautiful doll. She finally spoke but only to Sarah first.

“Is everything going ok dear?” Her voice was soft and comforting almost like a.....

“Everything is wonderful mother!” Sarah showed her her bright smile.

Mother. That single word sent all of them into shock with just enough willpower for the girls to turn and look at Keiji and realize why he was hiding.

A hand reached across the table and pulled Keiji's hood down.

“There's my lovely little dragon.” She gave a soothing smile to Keiji who had turned slowly to look upon his mother. His cheeks a bright glow, he was slightly embarassed to be called that. Dave tried to stifle a laughter but when Keiji's mother turned to face Dave with her soothing smile all the snarky, witty and ironic comments plus the devious laughter just vanished. He was starting to blush with embarassment now as well. She also managed to drop Kor's hood and give him a smile as well.

Rose was stunned by these turn of events. Not because his mother was here, no she actually knew all about that but because she stripped Dave of his snark and wit like it was nothing. With nothing but a smile. She concluded that Keiji's mother would be a great ally to have in the battle for Keiji's love. Which usually he lost anyways but still better safe than sorry.

The young woman stood up and introduced herself, “I am Selina Haku. As you may have guessed I am the mother of Sarah and Keiji. It's a pleasure to meet all of you.” Miss Selina bowed her head. She seemed like a refined lady. “I would like to say son. It's been a while since you have called especially after certain events. We will talk abou it later. Your sister is the park. I know you're going to try going alone but you're at least going to take your girlfriends.”

“Oh dear god mom. Did dad tell you? **-Trance-** Dad already gave me the damn sex talk. It was awkward. Especially since he tried to draw a picture......Hehehehe ooops.”

“Oh he did? Thank you. Looks you're father in I need to have a talk.”

Under his breath Keiji whispered, “Hehe crisis fucking aver-”

“You're still in trouble though.....but it's nice to see you so lively. Oh it seems we have new customers. Sorry dears I have to go back to work.” Before she walked away she winked at the girls perking them up and then left to the back again.

Keiji got up and started to make his way out of the Diner when he was stopped by Rose.

“I assume no waiting can occur before embarking?”

“Well uh we really need to see her. There's something I have been meaning to tell you guys. So if you girls could come with me that would be gureat!!” Keiji did a sort of Tony the tiger pose before Rose finally gave in. She beckoned the other girls to the door but only after they were allowed to finish eating.

Keiji and his bondmates then packed up and headed out to the park where his sister was located and small secret he has been keeping........and apparently an unexpected guest that needs a beating.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, if someone could tell me how to format the color in for the pesterchum chats that would be great. I can't seem to figure it out.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been a long two weeks. Had a slight writers block and was sick but voila here it is

# Chapter 25: Two Stupid To Know 

The walk to the Hub's park, aptly called Sutherland Park, was quiet. The girls didn't speak because Keiji seemed competely focused on reaching the park and his elder sister. Or at least that was how it seemed.

About 20 minutes in and they reached the park. It was amazing and detailed in old Victorian like structures and of course the all-important fountain which was 2 giant birds spewing streams of water delicately out of their mouths. Around the fountain were benches. There were quite a few benches with people all sprawled out. On the only metal bench sat a young woman with long white hair and a black blindfold. Next to her sat an older gentleman with spikish brown hair and stuble. He wore a light blue yukata. He was resting his head on his hands that were on a cane.

Keiji slowly made his way to the bench with the young woman and older man. As he approached the young woman looked up from feeding the birds and a smile grew across her face. It was a gentle smile and it was almost as if the determination in his eyes seemed to smooth over into a sort of serene calm. The young woman motioned him to come over and the girls as well. Keiji walked towards her but the older man got up fast and stepped in between the two of them.

“Dad,” the woman spoke.

“Yes Alana?”

“Please wait before you and him level everything.” She motioned for her dad to sit down.

Keiji stopped right in front of the man.

Out of nowhere the man quickly wrapped his arms around Keiji, “That's my son! You look great! And you're dating 5 girls!? Thats fuckin awesome!” Keiji's dad spun him around and around and around until he finally put him down.

“Yeah dad, good times. By the way can I PLEASE talk to sis before we go on a rampage. Mom will be pissed though.”

“It's not our fault that that spaceship crashed.” Rose and Kanaya had been listening in and Rose couldn't help but inquire upon what they were talking about.

“What do you mean by crashing a spaceship?” asked Rose.

“We flew a spaceship,” said Keiji.

“Into an active volcano,” said his dad.

“We wanted to see if we could have a volcano base.”

“Needless to say the ship blew up. And we caused a nuclear explosion that caused the volcano to erupt blue lava.”

“Because fuck red lava.”

“Damn straight.” The two of them nodded in agreement while Rose sighed and Kanaya face palmed.

Keiji stepped passed his dad and to Alana who was still sitting on the bench. He didn't sit down but he knelt down in front of her. She took off her blind fold to reveal white pupils and irises with an almost silver touch. She was blind. She reached out her hand and put it on his shoulder. She didn't speak or make any other movements for a while. When she finally spoke it was as if the world around them calmed down.

“Hello little brother, have you been doing well.”

As if unable to crack a joke he merely said, “I dunno...maybe.”

“It's not good if you aren't making sure to stay healthy.”

“I eat my veggies....disgusting pieces of crap......blegh.”

“Hmm these girls are your bound ones?” She gestured to the girls behind him.

“Yeah....um pretty sure you already knew that though.”

“I might have but it never hurts to hear from the source.”

“Pfft sure sis.” Keiji rolled his eyes but only lightly. Vriska seemed apalled by the whole situation.

“What no witty quips? No jokes? No cracking a pun or even making a quick comment on something stupid? Holy crap Keij-” As soon as Vriska approached Alana she instantly dropped to the ground kneeling. Not by some powerful force but because she felt really relaxed all of a sudden and calm.

Alana was calming her. It was like she possessed some ridiculous power to calm the nerves of others. It eventually dawned on Vriska and the other girls as to why. She was Keiji's eldest sister. She grew up with him. She has handled one of the most rowdiest, assholish and sarcastic people in existence and from it she gained the ability to project a serene aura around her and others as if to say to their souls “Everything is ok.” And of course that is exactly how they took it.

“Hi,” Vriska looked into Alana's eyes closely and continued speaking, “Hello um my name is-”

“Vriska Serket, don't worry I know who all of you ar-” Alana was abruptly cut off by her dad.

“ENOUGH TALKING! KEIJI! TO THE BATTLEFIELD!”

Rose seemed astonished but to clarify what she witnessed she merely said, “I'm sorry what?”

Before any other words could be mentioned Keiji and his dad were retreating to the center of the park.

“WH4T2 G01NG 0N???”

“They're getting ready to,” Alana let out a tiring sigh, “as they say 'duke it out.'

“1 B3G Y0UR P4RD0N?”

“I Believe They Are Going To Fight?”

“Waaaa that sounds interesting lol.”

Rose and Vriska didn't join in on the commentary and instead watched Keiji and his dad.

 

 

 

“First to say uncle.” Keiji declared.

“I'm good with that,” said his Dad.

The two of them stared at each other for a good amount of time. Seconds passed like hours and after about 15 minutes something occurred.

In between a watermelon spawned.

The two blinked in confusion before a similar thought donned on both of them.

“Im gonna beat the shit outta you with this melon,” declared Keiji. He darted toward the melon at high speed quickly picking it up and moving forward. He abruptly stopped 4 feet away from his dad and chucked the watermelon as hard as he good into his dad's face.

The watermelon impacted with the force of a massive hammer sending the old man flying. He caught his footing and recovered at the edge of the park. He looked to the side to see an antique lamp post. In the back of his mind his wife was saying _Don't break any of the antiques dear._ Of course the saying “like father like son” applies in reverse as well. He grabbed the antique lamp post and hurled it forward to Keiji who caught it....with his teeth.

 

 

 

“I Do Believe I Have No Idea What's Going On,” Kanaya confessed. She scratched her head and looked back over to Alana who was actually watching the girls instead of the two idiots.

Alana cocked her head a bit before asking away, “Does my brother know?”

Rose was the first to reply to her sudden question, “Know what?”

“Hmm I see, so you haven't told him.”

“I don't know what you-oh well yes we have not said anything to him.”

“You know he would probably be happy um?”

“Rose. Rose Lalonde.”

“He would be most grateful Miss Lalonde if you told him. Have you met her yet by chance?”

“The Conscious you mean?”

“Yes.”

“We have but she doesn't want him to know yet, something about Revenants and a war.”

“Oh my, that war isn't even happening but the Dragonine Council and Revenant High Chairs all seem to think it is.”

“What happened to insight a war?”

“Oh the Revenant accidentally 'Killed' a few Dragonine. We killed a few of them. Of course everyone was brought back to life completely making all of it pointless but apparently pride is much too high between the warring legislations.”

“Hmm that seems to be complicated scenario.”

“A world where death is pointless because bringing people back is not only possible but relatively easy, albeit with stipulations. After a certain time it becomes impossible but that takes about 40 days so really it is negligible.”

“On the subject of what we were talking about. We have yet to tell him about us particularly because we don't know how he would feel.”

“He'd be happy but then again you could always wait to see if he figures it out-” A loud crashing sound interrupts Alana. The girls look to the origin to find the two idiots previously mentioned duking it out.....with T-Rexes and rpgs.

“How?” was all Vriska could manage.

Alana sighed as she tried to explain what was going on, “I am sorry they do this all the time. And no I have no idea where they got the T-rexes or Rpgs. This is something that happens frequently.”

 

 

 

 

“Go Frederick! Charge his ass!” Keiji commanded to his T-Rex as he launched rockets in his father's general direction. Frederick stomped around driving forward towards his dad and his T-Rex. 

“Don't let him sway you Alejandro!” Dad fired away with rockets have.

Once the rexes aproached they bashed heads while the two idiots began firing rockets in each other's faces blasting them off the dinosaurs.

 

 

 

“W3LL, TH4T H4PP3N3D,” Terezi's commentary, albeit short, was just enough to describe the current situation. 

“Yes. This is pretty much my family.”

“1 D0N'T KN0W WH3TH3R 1 SH0ULD B3 SURPR1S3D 0R N0T.”

“Don't be, if anything this will become a common occurrence to all of you.”

 

 

 

“Hooooly sheeeet did you see that!?” said Dad who just blew a giant hole in the left of the park with a rocket with chainsaws on it. Because that's a thing with them.

“Oh yeah watch this!” Keiji chucked a handful of balls into the sky that exploded in mini nuclear explosions knocking out all of the electronic equipment in the area.

 

 

 

 

 

Alana sighed and laid her head back opening her eyes wide to the sky. Her eyes attracted Terezi's attention.

“UM 1 W4S W0ND3R1NG.....H0W D0 Y0U, Y0U KN0W, S33?”

Alana looked up from her spot and stared at Terezi with her gentle smile. She eventually gestured for Terezi to come closer. Once Terezi was close enough she put her hand next to Terezi's with only milimeters in between them. In a few seconds Terezi felt this tingly sensation over her hand.

“WH4T TH3 H3CK 1S TH4T F33L1NG??”

“That is our sense of touch. We feel everything. Energy, matter, time, space, etc. Our brains input everything and create an image that we see.”

“Wow that's friggin amazing,” Roxy had a face of genuine astonishment however Rose was the one to notice the key piece of information.  
“What did you mean by 'we'?” Rose's inquiry hung over Alana. She waited patiently for Alana to answer.

Alana shifted around in her seat and then stood up she walked around the fountain and the girls followed. They ended up on the otherside of the fountain where Keiji and his dad had begun blasting away at the park. The girls all watched with incredible astonishment as Keiji and his dad had found something particularly weird.

 

 

 

 

“Thats right get soaked bitch!”

“Oh fuck you! Mines bigger!”

The two morons had begun blasting each other with......super soakers. However calling them super soakers is more of an understatement considering the size of the launchers was roughly the size of statues found in art museums. And the blasts might as well have been water bombs. Actually they were bombs. Giant fucking bombs of water. Half the park was literally in 4 fucking inches of water and the best part about it all? Not a single fucking park goer gives a damn!

Another lob of water landed near the girls soaking all of them annnnnnd possibly making Rose and Kanaya's white shirts see-through. Which provided Keiji's dad with much needed distraction he was looking for.

Keiji stopped for a moment on his flying motorcycle to look over at the girl's bras to see Rose's lavendar frilled one and Kanaya's......invisible bra. His face lit up so bright that he nearly fell off the bike from embarassment. However Kanaya quickly covered up with a jacket from Alana seemingly not embarassed one bit but grinning up at Keiji. Rose didn't seem to mind and seemed to turn slightly in Keiji's direction. She felt it humoruous on his lack of experience on mates.

 

 

 

 

“Hehe that was funny,” commented Roxy on the afformentioned even that Keiji had finally recovered from, “So ya what waz ya talkin about befor?”

Alana positioned herself in front of the girls and turned to look to the side. She lifted a finger and pointed at....Keiji?

“Believe it or not my little brother is blind.” As if they had gotten slapped in the face by a massive backhand the girls shown looks of ridiculous astonishment. He didn't seem blind. He definitely didn't look blind. There was no real indication of him being blind.

“1'M S0RRY BUT 1 4M H4V1NG 4 H4RD T1M3 B3L13V1NG TH4T,” said Terezi with a slight chuckle of disbelief.

“Yeah I'm gonna call bull on that as well. I mean look at his eyes. Besides not having 8 eeeeyeees they look completely normal.”

“Hmm.” Alana looked around in contemplation trying to debate on what to say next. She came to the conclusion to start on the most unobvious.

“You probably don't know this but there are Oma Contacts in his eyes. Special contacts that cover up scars and are often used for cosmetics in young people. My brother uses them for scars in his eyes. The reason he is blind is because of them.”

“I don't quite understand,” Rose said with her interest piqued and somewhat scared of the answer .

“Hmm.....what I am about to tell you is a secret. It's also one of the more disturbing things in his past.” Alana sat down and took a deep breath beginning her story, “Back where we were from most of our town believed Keiji was a monster. Sometimes they would make comments or threaten him but generally they just stayed away. Well one day at a fountain he was delivering invitations for his 6th birthday to other kids, with no luck. The parents of the kids saw him trying to interact with their kids and took it upon themselves to stop it. In the most horrible way. They threw rocks at him. They broke one of his arms. One of the parents also pulled out a knife. That person drew a cut through my brother's eyes.......He was bleeding in so many places. When our father heard he wanted to go kill all of them but our mother didn't want us growing up to be just like those people so she made him back off....”

The girls made no movement or motion and couldn't find the words to say. They all turned to look at the afformentioned person. Alana added a few more words to send the girls a slight secret message.

“But there was a young girl, 11 years old I believe. She saved him from the people there-”

 

 

 

“Eat hot led biyotch!” Keiji was drilling his dad with a minigun firing electric rounds, explosive rounds, acid rounds, incindiary rounds and of course, stuffed teddy bears. Yes FUCKING. STUFFED. TEDDY BEARS.

His dad was firing back with...holy shit he's throwing sharks......Flaming sharks......Flaming sharks with lasers on their heads and at this point there really is no explanation for the bullshit going on between the two of them.

 

 

 

“Well you already know that, pardon the interruption by the way.” The girls gave Alana a nervous look.

“So you do really know?” asked Rose hesitantly.

“Of course I do, Heidi.” The name Alana spoke caught the girls off guard but Alana continued, “but that is neither here nor there. I expect one day you will tell him. Are there any questions you wish to ask about what I said?”

The girls looked at each other and blankly stared at Keiji for quite some time. Vriska spoke for the girls this time around.

“We know but there's nothing we can do at the moment as we have previously said. Buuuuuuuut we do know how we will tell him. Th8s our secr8 though mwahahahahahahahahaha.” Alana laughed and left the conversation at that. All of the girls joined in and the laughter itself caught the attention of Keiji and his dad. The girls noticed this and took a moment to see what was going on with the two morons.

 

 

 

The battlefield was littered with holes and there was a building collapsed in the back. Off to the side a mime and clown were fighting. There were lasers still firing into space and pieces of rockets stuck in the ground. On top of a post was a polka dotted lama being ridden by a velociraptor. There were masses of balloons and giant puddles of water everywhere. The only thing not destroyed was a single lamp post.

In the very center of this catastrophe were the two culprits. Both of which were in advanced space tanks. Holding swords. Pointing them at each other. The two of them blinked watching the girls before Keiji finally spoke.

 

“Yeah I clearly have no explanation for any of this.” As soon as he finished speaking the only intact lamp post fell to the ground and shattered thus marking the end of yet another usual day in the Haku family household.

 


	27. Alert!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a brief update and new information

So about 3/4's through i noticed something off about Keiji. How he is was getting diluted. The biggest part of this story was suppose to be how he actually is partially insane. Also I kinda found some stuff to add to this and the original work called inFinity. One of the most important things is the removal of the Creeping Insanity and instead is being replaced with something called the Unstoppable Hunger which is actually a part of Keiji not a separate entity. Also being removed his the whole scaleplate fiasco. The plates themselves will stay and so will the girls being interested in him. Removing his half dragon and full dragon state to be replaced by something much more badass but also simple. Exotic particles will become more common in the story. I also have a bad guy or 2 in the works. Be prepared one of them, the biggest one, is fuckin monster. Like I made this guy evil as feck.

His introduction is getting changed mainly because I want to see more of his personality showing through my writing. Adding some new powers and conspiracies to go with them. Introducing a few new characters and changing a couple of them. 

A lot more action and comedy with a side of epicness. Probably not a side. Itll be like epic action and epic comedy. The daughters WILL stay the same. I think some people really liked them. Keiji's actual dad will definitely be playing a more prominent role especially since I'm adding a new power that is effin wicked but also pretty damn scary as far as an origin story.

 

Thats all I can remember off the top of my head. Be sure to look for the new series titled "inFinitystuck: Epic"


End file.
